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Clips from South Park - The Wacky Molestation Adventure (S04E04)

"Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman has!"
South Park
"Well, of course your parents said you can't go!"
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"Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house,"
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"Well, I guess you're screwed, then."
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"What's Cuba?"
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"And do I have to shovel the whole driveway, or just the side the car is on?"
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"Hoh, geez."
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"My name is Kyle."
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"I just can't be very happy, that's certain"
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"That is my one and only wish."
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"Plans can finally resume for Knott's Berry Farm Cuba."
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"I did it! Now I can go to the Raging Pussies!"
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"No you can't!"
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"But I did! Ah, I brought - democracy to Cuba!"
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"But that's not fair! You lied to me!"
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"but you need to understand that we don't want-"
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"Kyle!"
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"What's that?"
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"and I haven't seen him for three months."
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"But what do the police do to them?"
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""my parents molestered me.""
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""No, but you've gotta cry, like this:"
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"And you say "Ih, it was a good touch" or... No wait, you say it was a bad touch.""
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"What's "bad touch"?"
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"Something about a swimsuit - I don't remember,"
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"but you definitely answer "bad touch"."
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"Okay, molestered, bad touch."
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"You do have the right to remain silent, ma'am. I suggest you use that right."
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"You're not listening to me."
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"Kyle, tell these people that your mother never raped you!"
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"They'll never be able to hurt you again."
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"Alright, folks. Our work here is done."
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"Dude! Having no parents is awesome! I'm gonna say my parents molestered me, too."
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"Yeah, uh huh, woo hoo!"
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"You guys! Come out here!"
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"Not one adult left?"
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"I have no idea."
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"Oh, we're gonna have to find some help quick."
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"We're not gonna make it more than a couple of miles."
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"Well, it'll have to do. It's probably the only town for a hundred miles."
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"Huuuhhhh, no."
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"The only phone is somehwere in Treasure Cove."
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"Hell no! I'm not crossing the white line."
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"Why not?!"
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"It's Spaceman Craig."
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"Oh God! Are you blind?!"
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"What--What do you want?"
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"Mark, I'm scared!"
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"The mayor! Good! Finally!"
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"Okay, see, I am the mayor of Smiley Town, and so I will ask the questions around hyah!"
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"Spitball!"
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"You sons of bitches!"
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"Hey, I think you'd make a great father."
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"Mark!"
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"Sorry about them. Kindergartners are kind of spazzes."
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"The fatass. The mayor."
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"Uh, how did this all happen? Why do you children live in this town alone?"
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"Alright. Everybody gather round."
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"Way back, in the long long ago, we all lived by the birthgivers' laws."
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"They made us go to bed early and eat broccoli."
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"But then he just made himself the mayor."
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"Make everything like it was in the before time."
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"In the long, long ago."
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"Yes. No foolies."
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"No, uh, it's it's it's right out here. Come on."
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"Linda, I want you to just go back to the car and wait for me, alright?"
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"Uh, excuse me, but my wife and I honestly never touched our child."
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"Eh, neither did we."
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"Look, it's obvious we have a lot of emotional issues and personal demons to face here."
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"Just try to suppress your urges to rape him."
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"Oh, that's disgusting! Now, now stop this!"
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"I don't have any urges!"
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"Now sit down!"
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"Look at this young man. Just look. Don't rape. Fight it. Fight it!"
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"I think I found the problem, ma'am. A broken window roller-upper."
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"Where is your husband?"
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"Awesu-home!"
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"Outlander!"
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"Oo what the heck are you talkin' about?"
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"Butters, calm down, ahright?"
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"Okay, so what are some other things that we can do besides molest our children?"
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"Uh huh. I'll put ah, knitting, sewing."
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"Nonono, we're looking for things to do besides molesting our children."
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"Give him the book back."
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"The Provider awakes!"
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"Haha, your side doesn't have its book, fatass!"
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"I'm here for you, Provider! Uh, take me!"
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"You lied to the police and said they molested you?!"
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"My God, they were your parents!"
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"Parents?"
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"I'm sure missing you all very, very much."
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"That's what their laws and their rules were for, because they"
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"Oh boy, here it comes!"
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"Ten days? It's only been ten days since they left?"
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"Hey. Looks like you're not so bad with kids after all."
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"Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe we should have some."
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"Yeah, right. After all this, I'm getting my tubes ties tomorrow!"
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"Hey, kids."
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"Did you make it to your job interview?"
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"Kids!"
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"But you didn't do anything to me."
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"It won't happen again."
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"Everything's gonna be alright now, Jenny. Come on, let's go home."
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"Sure."
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"Snow igloos kick ass."
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"No on dahdo."
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"Hepatitis B?"
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"No, dickhole. Four tickets, 28th row, for the Raging Pussies!"
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"Hold on. I'll be right back."
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"Mom, Dad, can I go with the guys to see the Raging Pussies?"
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"No, Kyle."
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"But all the guys are going!"
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"Kyle, you're not old enough, and those concerts are dangerous and vile."
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"- But Mom, I... - The answer is no, Kyle!"
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"My parents said I can't go."
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"Dummy, you don't ask if you can go!"
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"I'm telling my parents I'm staying at Stan's house,"
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"and Kenny's not telling his parents anything,"
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"'cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!"
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"No! It's alright! Just give me some time to work on them. I'll see you guys later."
South Park
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