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Clips from Son of Zorn - Defender of Teen Love (S01E01)

"Man, I haven't seen some of this crap in years."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, my thumbs got quite a workout on this bad boy."
Son of Zorn
"Nice shirt, by the way."
Son of Zorn
"It's a Nautica, Zorn."
Son of Zorn
"- Well, your mom's a Nautica. - CRAIG: Okay."
Son of Zorn
"Oh-ho-ho, man. We had a lot of sex in these bad boys, huh?"
Son of Zorn
"I'm sorry. I-I totally see"
Son of Zorn
"where you're coming from, and I will be moving the boxes now."
Son of Zorn
"Alan, like, I live here Alan, not stalking you or anything."
Son of Zorn
"- He was in the Khmer Rouge... - Oh."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, boy, that's a tongue twister."
Son of Zorn
"which I think speaks towards my spirit."
Son of Zorn
"Yeah, the script. I mean, it's good, it's good."
Son of Zorn
"Definitely. You're the boss, my man."
Son of Zorn
"all you have to do is offer her some Corn Nuts."
Son of Zorn
"- Well... - Hey, Craig, can I use that"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, I love going through dead people's things."
Son of Zorn
"Do you have any?"
Son of Zorn
"I have to get to class, so..."
Son of Zorn
"(sighs)"
Son of Zorn
"...the elfish, wai... Wait."
Son of Zorn
"Nah-ah. No. I'm not stalking her."
Son of Zorn
"to Joni Perkins... you know, Butt-Crack Joni, right?"
Son of Zorn
"like, if you don't tell me,"
Son of Zorn
"Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, what is that?"
Son of Zorn
"yeah, I love this place."
Son of Zorn
"uh, this is, uh, my friend, Alan."
Son of Zorn
"- Different Alan. (chuckles) - Whatever."
Son of Zorn
"Like what isn't happening?"
Son of Zorn
"Edie, I've seen it."
Son of Zorn
"The Stone of Sight?!"
Son of Zorn
"I... am... Zorn!"
Son of Zorn
"- (buzz) - Damn. Zero, zero, zero, two."
Son of Zorn
"- (buzz) - Damn. Zero, zero, zero, three."
Son of Zorn
"So I can make reservations before the show?"
Son of Zorn
"And then, you know, I-I lost it, and-and now I'm afraid"
Son of Zorn
"Okay. Okay. I know..."
Son of Zorn
"I mean, there's a line there, there's temptation."
Son of Zorn
"you can't force someone to move on."
Son of Zorn
"You got to stop letting it drive you crazy."
Son of Zorn
"Sure."
Son of Zorn
"There is laser removal."
Son of Zorn
"you want your five stars or not?"
Son of Zorn
"Hell, I once pee-blasted a Glombeast off a cliff."
Son of Zorn
"and insulted her dad to the point"
Son of Zorn
"in his stupid bicycle face!"
Son of Zorn
"- and really processing... - Active process."
Son of Zorn
"Listen, uh, Craig, I, uh, I owe you an apology."
Son of Zorn
"(grunting)"
Son of Zorn
"I think it would be great to go on a fast."
Son of Zorn
"- Yeah. - A juice cleanse."
Son of Zorn
"CRAIG: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it."
Son of Zorn
"- (screeches) - EDIE: Zorn?"
Son of Zorn
"All I asked was that you get rid of your boxes."
Son of Zorn
"Yeah, yeah. No, I-I know. But look, it's all my old awesome stuff."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, man. The Stone of Sight!"
Son of Zorn
"You remember this, Edie?"
Son of Zorn
"- Huh? You remember? - I remember"
Son of Zorn
"- the Stone of Sight, yes. - So dangerous"
Son of Zorn
"in the hands of evil. Yeah, I really should have"
Son of Zorn
"destroyed that a long time a... Uh-oh! Game Boy! Ha-ha!"
Son of Zorn
"Zorn, this junk has been here for years."
Son of Zorn
"Craig needs some space to wall-mount his bicycles."
Son of Zorn
"Bicycles? Who the hell rides bicycles?"
Son of Zorn
"Uh, we do. Craig and I enjoy"
Son of Zorn
"- riding bicycles together, as a couple. - Oh, hey,"
Son of Zorn
"Craig, you know what Edie and I used to enjoy"
Son of Zorn
"doing as a couple? Having tantric sex"
Son of Zorn
"on top of a mountain for months at a time. Yeah."
Son of Zorn
"You should try cycling, Zorn. It's really good for your heart."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, you know what else is good for your heart?"
Son of Zorn
"Having tantric sex with Edie"
Son of Zorn
"on top of a mountain for months at a time."
Son of Zorn
"This is escalating. My ears are getting hot."
Son of Zorn
"- I'm gonna go for an anger ride. - Oh, let me guess..."
Son of Zorn
"- On your bicycle? - EDIE: Zorn!"
Son of Zorn
"If you don't clean this up,"
Son of Zorn
"I am gonna have to throw it all out."
Son of Zorn
"Aw, come on, you really want to get rid of our sex masks?"
Son of Zorn
"- Gosh, should've probably wash it... - I've gotta go to work."
Son of Zorn
"Hey, Edie. You still got that tattoo?"
Son of Zorn
"The one with the Z on one cheek, R-N on the other?"
Son of Zorn
"I got rid of that tattoo a long time ago."
Son of Zorn
"- Why? - Because we got divorced, Zorn."
Son of Zorn
"- I don't need your... - You know what?"
Son of Zorn
"Thank you. It's nice to hear you sounding mature about"
Son of Zorn
"- the whole thing, because you see... - (Game Boy music playing)"
Son of Zorn
"Oh, this song is gonna be stuck in my head for weeks."
Son of Zorn
"(sighs)"
Son of Zorn
"Good boy, good boy."
Son of Zorn
"Nancy?"
Son of Zorn
"- Hey. - Hey, it's Alan."
Son of Zorn
"Huh. Alan... Alan..."
Son of Zorn
"Oh, right."
Son of Zorn
"Your dad, uh, he killed that bird in your driveway."
Son of Zorn
"- Right? That Alan? - Yeah. Oh, my God, I forgot about that."
Son of Zorn
"It's, like... Yeah, he just moved here"
Son of Zorn
"from, like, this other country"
Son of Zorn
"that's really brutal and crazy..."
Son of Zorn
"I get it. My dad's from Cambodia."
Son of Zorn
"...and during the war, he, uh,"
Son of Zorn
"did a lot of bad, bad things."
Son of Zorn
"- Oh. Um... - Alan!"
Son of Zorn
"I'm kidding."
Son of Zorn
"He owns a used car dealership."
Son of Zorn
"Okay! (laughs)"
Son of Zorn
"Wow, that's, like, a big difference."
Son of Zorn
"Why the hell is Alangulon talking to that elfish,"
Son of Zorn
"waifish Asian maiden?"
Son of Zorn
"Elfish, waifish Asian maiden."
Son of Zorn
"Elfish, waifish... Mm!"
Son of Zorn
"This one time this lady asked my dad"
Son of Zorn
"if he was Vietnamese, and he went ballistic."
Son of Zorn
"He was like, "No, I'm Cambodian!" And..."
Son of Zorn
"he kicked a dent in her car. So embarrassing."
Son of Zorn
"- (Zorn smooching) - NANCY: Oh, wait."
Son of Zorn
"- Are you in P.E. with Jules Davey? - Yeah, I'm, uh..."
Son of Zorn
"NANCY: He was dating my friend Alison for a second,"
Son of Zorn
"- but I think they were having... - ALAN: Hey, do you want"
Son of Zorn
"to-to walk you to home?"
Son of Zorn
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