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Clips from The Office - New Girl (S01E01)

"and New York New York,"
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"They call it ''The nightclub that never sleeps.'' That closes at one."
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"There is... There was... Oh, my God."
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"..a themed nightclub called Henry VIII's, right?"
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"It was incredible. It had the Ann Bow-ling Alley."
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"This is true."
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"As you went into the loo, there was a sign that said ''Mind Your Head.''."
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"Nice. And underneath someone had written ''Don't get your Hampton Court.''"
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"Yeah. It's not there anymore."
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"But there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it."
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"Who are you?"
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"Have you not met me husband Paul?"
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"Husband?"
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"Paul is it all right if Gareth comes back with us?"
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"No way. No. I don't...No. Not interested. No."
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"I'm not having another fella involved. Another girl, maybe. Not another bloke. No."
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"I wouldn't even want him watching."
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"No way."
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"(MUSIC: ''TAINTED LOVE'' BY SOFT CELL)"
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"Hi."
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"- Hey. All right, mate. - How's it going? Good to see you."
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"- So now you know. - Yeah. Brilliant."
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"What, you got a problem with Ricky?"
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"No. Sleep with everyone in the office."
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"- Wouldn't happen. - Oh why? 'Coz he didn't go to university?"
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"Yeah you could do worse than Gareth. He hasn't missed one day in this office from ill health."
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"And don't call my second in command, an arse-faced weasel."
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"- A weasel-faced arse. - Same thing."
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"Well no it's not. Would you rather have a face like an arse or a face like a weasel?"
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"A weasel, probably."
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"I hope you're not gonna sleep with a woman, David, coz' obviously you find sex so disgusting."
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"Fat chance. He couldn't pull in a brothel."
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"I could and I have! And yes I will take her home with me if I want."
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"- I don't want to come home with you. - She doesn't want to come home with me."
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"I don't want you to come home with me. That's a waste of an hour."
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"So the only reason you've been talking to me is because you want to shag me?"
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"Whoo! One up the bum, no harm done."
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"No. Not up the arse."
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"(DAVID ) Thlis is the poem ''Slough'' by Sir John BetJieman,"
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"Probably never been here in his life."
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"''Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough."
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"''It isn't fit for humans now.''"
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"You don't solve town planning problems by dropping bombs all over the place"
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"so he's embarrassed himself there. Next.."
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"''In labour-saving homes with care''"
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"''and dry it in synthetic air, and paint their nails, '' They want to look nice,"
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"Why's he got a... ? Doesn't he like girls?"
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"''And talk of sports and makes of cars in various bogus Tudor bars,"
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"''and daren't look up and see the stars, but belch instead, ''"
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"- Where are we going? - What? I'm going home, mate."
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"- One more drink. - I'm going home, David."
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"- One more drink. Life! Oh, life! - Shut up. Shut up."
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"- # Oh, life! Oh life!# - Don't do that. - That's my favourite."
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"''Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough,"
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"''to get it ready for the plough,"
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"''The earth exhales...'' He's the only cabbage around here."
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"And they made him a knight of the realm."
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"Overrated."
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"A sergeant major spends all his time training his men to be killers."
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"which I'd like you to attend. Compulsory, I'm afraid."
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"- Right. I'll just check with Lee. - Yeah. Absolutely. Of course."
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"Dangerous."
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"Up. That's it."
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"So are you going to fire the person she shag...slept with?"
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"And I'm thinking "yeah! And you look like you've had a Pot Noodle and a wank mate!"
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"- Coming out tonight though? - Definitely."
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"- Who wants a Finch pinch? - What?"
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"- Fine. - Husband?"
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"Gareth? Don't you?"
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"Anyway fuck this. Don't tell me who I can and can't see."
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"# I-I-I I can rest my weary face. #"
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"That was lovely. Just give that a minute."
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"Yeah let's get him out the way. Follow me."
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"OK."
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"What's he on about? He's never burped?"
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