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Clips from Veep - Chicklet (S06E06)

"you know, because your dad was always taking her to the doctor."
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"- What a character. - I gotta... I'm gonna get out of here."
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"I'm gonna borrow that."
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"Anytime, Madam President."
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"Uncle George sounded pretty sweet on Mee-Maw, huh?"
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"- What? - Never mind."
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"It's fun to drive again, especially drunk."
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"You know that my daddy taught me to drive in this car right here?"
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"Careful, the ground isn't straight here."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- Wow! See this desk? - Mm-hmm."
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"After Daddy died, I would crawl right underneath here and hide."
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"Wow."
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"You know, 'cause I was so petite and pretty."
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"- Uh-huh, yeah. - And lookit here."
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"I'd take this picture of me and Daddy."
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"I would just stare at it."
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"He was a cheater and a liar!"
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"He was a horse thief!"
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"I was stupid little Daddy's girl!"
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"You gotta do this, Mike. Come on."
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"- Uh, bad desk! - No, come on!"
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"You gotta be mad about something!"
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"Pay me! Pay me, bitch!"
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"Pay me, bitch!"
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"Wait, stop!"
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"This is a pencil holder"
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"that I made for my daddy when I was at camp."
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"He loved them and he was fucking them!"
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"I'm a grown man!"
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"I shouldn't eat when I'm full!"
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"Oh, God!"
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"Easy. Oh."
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"We did a number on this place."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"My mom was right and I ignored her,"
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"and I married my fucking father."
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"We should call the fire department. I smell smoke."
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"who triumphed over her parents' toxic marriage"
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"to become an American icon!"
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"Don't you see? I had no choice but to go into politics"
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"and be extraordinary and a sex symbol."
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"Guys, it's fine."
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"Mike crashed my car."
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"He's completely wasted."
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"I made this at camp."
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"Look, I made it at camp."
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"turned into an unhappy meal yesterday"
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"That's Brie Ramachandran with the world news."
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"Boy, some scary moments there, I bet."
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"- Frightening. - Mm-hmm."
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"I just wanna make sure you don't wanna fuck that, too."
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""Jane McCabe's boy toy steps out with beefy blonde.""
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"What the fuck?"
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"Yeah, I don't think Jane's gonna like you out with a younger woman."
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"That's Amy Brookheimer,"
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"and she's way older than Jane."
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"Hey, Jane, just wanna make sure you're not mad about this"
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"because we're not actually fucking, and you know that, right?"
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"Yes, Danny, I know that we're not actually fucking"
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"because you're not a billionaire"
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"and I don't wanna catch anything."
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"Okay, well, then maybe you can call the "Post""
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"and tell them that these rumors about us are complete bullshit"
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"'cause this is like Dewey blows Truman here."
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"Dan, if I stop being fuckable, then I am Grandma,"
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"and if I'm Grandma, I will be replaced"
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"by two tits with a degree from American University over there."
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"It's you."
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"You're the one telling people."
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"All right, the treasury secretary"
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"Why do we always have to raise the ceiling?"
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"So you don't scrape your head, you giant barbecue fork."
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"You need to get rid of your glasses. They make you look smart."
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"Okay, next vote."
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"HR 2029, it's good, old-fashioned pork barrel."
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"Excuse me, don't say pork. Shawnee's Jewish."
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"Okay, just refer to your color-coded chart."
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"I've become close with a woman at Kinko's"
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"they're gonna think I'm a fucking idiot."
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"You can't unring that bell."
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"Why can't we just write it on my hand like we used to?"
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"- Take your tie off. - What? Like, right now?"
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"No, you're switching to bow ties."
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"No, I'm gonna look like that old popcorn homo."
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"You'll look like a school teacher or a small-town grocer..."
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"good, solid New England professions."
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"Yeah, or like a nation of Islam badass."
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"Small-town grocers do poll exceptionally well for probity."
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"How do small-town child molesters poll?"
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"Wait, wait, Jesus, lady,"
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"Jobs for wetlands duck-fuckers who are never gonna vote for Jonah."
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"Being against waste will play statewide,"
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"and even nationally."
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"- Okay, vote no. - Vote yes."
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"Kent, would you mind just cleaning this shit up?"
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"Just straighten it up a little bit for me? Thank you."
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"Well, the female form is a formidable adversary."
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"Well, ironically, I have bigger tits."
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"Ma'am, that's the letter of recommendation for the Harper Day School."
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"Yes, indeed, okay."
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"- Ma'am, do you have a second? - Sure."
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"Catherine, Richard, and I have something important to tell you."
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"Okay."
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"- Mom, what happened to your forehead? - Oh, it's nothing."
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"Anyway, you know how I have been searching forever"
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"for the perfect place for my library,"
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"and all along, it's been staring at me in my face!"
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"I'm gonna turn Mee-Maw's house"
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"into the Selina Meyer Presidential Birthplace and Library."
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"- Just like FDR. - Yes!"
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"Catherine, I don't know! I was a baby."
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"Okay, well, Marjorie and I were planning on moving down there."
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"I mean, we were gonna have our family there."
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"Ma'am, I just got off with Sherman Tanz."
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"Oh, and?"
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"He is all in for the Birthplace and Library."
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"Oh, of course he is."
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"What does Rumpleforeskin want?"
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"from the former President of the Untied States."
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