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Clips from Veep - Chicklet (S06E06)

"So, that really happened, huh?"
Veep
"Why didn't you take me back to your place?"
Veep
"Do you live with your mom?"
Veep
"No. Pfft, no. She wishes."
Veep
"I live in my office. DC rents are insane,"
Veep
"and Ben and Kent say I can't use campaign money."
Veep
"- Can I use campaign money? - No, you can't use campaign money."
Veep
"Okay. Second opinion."
Veep
"I chose your outfit for the day,"
Veep
"I'm pretty sure I can take care of dressing myself."
Veep
"- Can you? - Hey, um, do you have time to..."
Veep
"- No. - Okay."
Veep
"It's just you look really good in my robe,"
Veep
"and I thought if you had some time,"
Veep
"maybe I could finger you or something?"
Veep
"- Okay. - We'll fuck again tonight at 7:30"
Veep
"- I'm taking a Pop-Tart. - Can I ask you a question?"
Veep
"- and I... - Oh, my God, get to it. What?"
Veep
"Did my missing ball freak you out?"
Veep
"Honestly, it was one less thing to worry about."
Veep
"Okay. Thanks, Mrs. Tanz."
Veep
"Hey, Richard. Five-minute feud truce."
Veep
"The most amazing thing just happened to me twice!"
Veep
"Really? Something amazing just happened to me, too!"
Veep
"- Amy? - What do you want?"
Veep
"relocated next to President Lu."
Veep
"And what's wrong?"
Veep
"They have her bowing."
Veep
"Like this."
Veep
"I know what bowing is."
Veep
"People are..."
Veep
"What? What?"
Veep
"You know, like, taking advantage of her."
Veep
"They're fucking her in the ass?"
Veep
"This girl is, like, 11 years old. Where are her parents?"
Veep
"Ugh. Obviously, you need me to fix this?"
Veep
"You're as useless as a dick at a roller derby."
Veep
"And then there was this one time"
Veep
"that Daddy got back from a month in Cuba."
Veep
"Okay, we're right in the middle of working."
Veep
"Anyway, so Daddy never came home empty-handed."
Veep
"- No. Really? - I haven't even shown you that yet."
Veep
"- Yeah, you're gonna die. Yeah. - The board is ready for you."
Veep
"Oh, I bet you got a great snow globe from Cuba."
Veep
"Good morning. Selina Meyer present."
Veep
"We will now vote on the next item."
Veep
"- What are you voting on? - These vultures wanna raise the price"
Veep
"- of some new cancer drug. - Ugh."
Veep
"Aye."
Veep
"Please re..."
Veep
"Yeah, and he was away with his secretary when he died,"
Veep
"Mm-hmm."
Veep
"No, his secretary wasn't with him."
Veep
"- Vote number two is up. - Oh."
Veep
"- What is it? - Animal testing."
Veep
"Aye."
Veep
"seems kind of weird, doesn't it?"
Veep
"Weird? What are you getting at?"
Veep
"Nothing. I'm... like, some of these details about your dad"
Veep
"- What? - all the cash."
Veep
"Hey, what is your game here?"
Veep
"Because my daddy was a very good family man, okay?"
Veep
"He was charismatic, he was gregarious,"
Veep
"he was somewhat peculiar, yeah..."
Veep
"but all interesting people are, okay?!"
Veep
"This isn't a movie theater."
Veep
"I wonder if it'd be worth checking in on Uncle George."
Veep
"We're not gonna talk to Uncle George!"
Veep
"He's a bald, old booze-bag with a whiskey-stink mustache,"
Veep
"- Third vote. - Nay."
Veep
"But it's for discounted prescriptions for the elderly."
Veep
"I'll just sit here."
Veep
"I'm sorry I ruined the good vibe."
Veep
"I've asked you before not to do that impression, ma'am."
Veep
"I mean, do I fuck her? The entire town thinks I am anyway."
Veep
"You're my mom's favorite couple."
Veep
"Sort of like Indiana Jones, I guess."
Veep
"hacking my way past the crazy cobwebs and snakes and shit,"
Veep
"They put her on a bench talking to FDR."
Veep
"Zero anal access. How's that for a new deal?"
Veep
"Like, their balls?"
Veep
"They will be arrested."
Veep
"Will they? There's a lot there."
Veep
"I don't see any arrests."
Veep
"- You see any arrests? - Okay, okay, okay. Jesus."
Veep
"You know, have sex with Jane McCabe,"
Veep
"just do whatever it takes to keep your job,"
Veep
"because it is, in fact, a job."
Veep
"of a library that doesn't exist"
Veep
"for a president who is currently more famous"
Veep
"than for serving her country."
Veep
"Respect."
Veep
"Did I tell you the story"
Veep
"about how your father made Ethel Merman cry?"
Veep
"Oh, it's true, it's true"
Veep
"He didn't like her Broadway show."
Veep
"So, I just wanna clarify some of the details"
Veep
"about the night that Daddy actually died."
Veep
"Did Mother have to get the body flown back here?"
Veep
"From where? He died in the barn."
Veep
"No, he was away on business."
Veep
"No, that's just what we told her when she was a little girl."
Veep
"and poor Barbara."
Veep
"Barbara Valeski, Daddy's secretary?"
Veep
"Died right on top of her."
Veep
"What a way to go."
Veep
"Your mother paid for it. She always referred to it as "the spa.""
Veep
"- What? - But it wasn't just Barbara,"
Veep
"which is why your mom converted the barn,"
Veep
"so he wouldn't embarrass her in seedy motels."
Veep
"See? That's why Mother sold my horse."
Veep
"- Okay. - Write that down."
Veep
"Your dad sold it to get the IRS off of his back."
Veep
"- You knew that, right? - Dad... Daddy sold Chicklet?"
Veep
"You know, she had a great head for business."
Veep
"That's why you didn't get a snow globe. No business trip."
Veep
"Oh, I haven't thought of those snow globes in a million years."
Veep
"Yeah, we just were unpacking all of them."
Veep
"Barbara loved buying you those."
Veep
"You know, she had no children of her own,"
Veep
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