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Clips from Friends - The One Where Joey Speaks French (S10E10)

"- It was so romantic. RACHEL: Oh."
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"...which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in."
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"- Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé. - Yeah, you really shouldn't."
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"I did not know you spoke French."
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"Ha, ha, seriously, stop it. I'm gonna jump on you."
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"- Hey. - Hi."
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"- Hey! - Hey!"
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"And, uh, she's never been to New York, so she wants to see the tourist spots:"
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"Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building."
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"Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?"
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"Uh, a mani-pedi? Was there a sale at Barneys?"
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"My father had a heart attack."
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"While I was at Barneys."
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"- I'm so sorry. - Uh, is he okay?"
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"Yeah, he's gonna be fine, but he's heavily sedated."
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"I don't need you to come."
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"Okay. If you really need to."
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"I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies."
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"Your first line is, "My name is Claude.""
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"[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]"
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"[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]"
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"- It does, really? - Yeah."
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"[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]"
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"[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]"
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"PHOEBE: Hi. JOEY: Hey!"
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"Everyone, Erica! Baby!"
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"Why would you say that?"
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"You should walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- He's unconscious. We'll be just fine. - Okay."
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"Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second."
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"What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?"
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"Nope. Just the one. Rachel!"
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"[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]"
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"Okay, maybe if we just break it down."
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"[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]"
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"[RACHEL GRUNTS]"
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"I just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room."
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"- You've been in my room before. - Hah, yeah, sure, right. Ha, ha."
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"Okay, I gotta tell you, it's really weird when you use my whole name."
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"- Yeah, you had a rough day, huh? - Yeah."
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"You don't expect doctors to get sick."
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"- Me too. Come here. - No."
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"No, Rach!"
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"Look, I'm sure it would be great..."
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"So I'm gonna go."
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"Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time."
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"Yeah, you miss a lot when you're mooing."
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"Well, if there's anything else you wanna know..."
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"Can we ask you some questions about the father?"
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"Well, he was my high-school boyfriend, captain of the football team, really cute."
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"Other than that, he's a great guy."
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"All right, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy."
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"Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel killer."
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"We have to find out which the father is."
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"MAN [ON RECORDING]: Good job. - Thank you."
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"Okay. Ahem."
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"You're not-- You're--"
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"Again, you're not speaking French!"
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"Okay. Um."
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"Wait, wait, you're, uh, mad at me about last night?"
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"I would've woken up feeling comforted and satisfied."
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"- Well-- - Oh, stop that!"
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"I can't believe this! I was just being a good guy."
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"I treated you with respect and understanding."
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"I gotta say, I've not had sex a lot of times before. This is the worst ever!"
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"- What? - That's right! Sex is off the table!"
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"I'm gonna go finish packing."
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"- Okay. - Ha, ha."
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"...because the things she did with that prison guy?"
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"- I'm sorry, what's going on? - Dude, come on, French it up."
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"Joey, do you speak French?"
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"You know what? I think this audition is over."
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"PHOEBE [IN FRENCH ACCENT]: Uh, excuse me?"
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"Uh, I was passing by when I heard this man speaking..."
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"...the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder."
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"Good job, little buddy."
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"That was some really good French."
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"[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]"
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"I was thinking about what you said, uh, you know, about the whole sex thing..."
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"Thank you. I'm glad you agree."
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"Yeah."
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"Yeah, that's true."
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"[IN UNISON] Oh, yeah."
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"I hate waste."
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"It's off the résumé."
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"That I can do."
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"You did it!"
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"[English - US - SDH]"
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"- How was the honeymoon? - Oh, incredible!"
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"Oh, champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach."
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"- So where's Mike? - Oh, he's at the doctor."
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"He didn't poop while we were there."
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"I have an audition for this play, and I have to speak French..."
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"By the way, how was that yearlong dig in Cairo?"
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"It was okay."
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"[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]"
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"Oh, oh, you're so sexy."
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"- Well, so will you help me? PHOEBE: Sure."
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"[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]"
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"I'm making cookies for Erica."
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"When she gets here, is it okay if I introduce you two as my wife..."
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"No?"
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"Divorce?"
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"- Hey. MONICA & CHANDLER: Hey."
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"- Uh, you know where Rachel is? - Haven't seen her since morning."
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"It's unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me a half-hour ago with Emma."
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"- These are for Erica! - She's gonna eat all those cookies?"
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"Well, I want the baby to come out all cute and fat!"
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"- So, uh, why is Erica coming to visit? - We wanna get to know her better."
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"And, you know, there's always some idiot who goes, "Moo.""
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"ROSS: Oh, hi! Hi!"
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"- Thanks for showing up 30 minutes late. - Ross."
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"Okay, I'm gonna go to Long Island with you."
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"- I mean, you can't be alone right now. - No, come on, I'm totally okay."
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"- Oh, I really could. - Oh."
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"Oh."
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"All right, it seems pretty simple."
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"- Okay. - So just repeat after me."
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"- Well, let's try it again. - Okay."
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