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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - The Nightman Cometh (S04E04)

"- You're going to play the troll guy. - I'm the troll guy?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Who else would be the troll? - Oh, I like that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- All right, good. - Can I do it naked?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Absolutely not. Why would you want to be naked?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Because in the '70s, everybody did theater naked."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"All right, well, this is not the '70s. You're going to do theater with your clothes on, please."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I'm a princess who lives in a coffee shop? - You work in a coffee shop."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You don't live in a coffee shop. Read closer."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Well, all right, man, boy, it's a metaphor."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Well, the audience is going to think I'm a child molester."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I've changed my mind. I'm playing the nightman."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Oh, yeah. - Why would you want to play the nightman?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"The nightman's bad-ass, dude. He has the eyes of a cat"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Karate?! - No, I made that up, man."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I can play both those. - No, I don't want you guys switching roles."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- That's not how it works. - Hey, Frank you got a guy that does cat eyes?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Okay, you guys ready? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Tiny boy, little boy, Baby boy, I need you"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Okay, hold on a second."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Charlie? - Yes."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Are you goddamn kidding me? - What?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
""Tiny boy, little boy, baby boy"?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You're wanting me to say that I want to make love to a little, baby, tiny boy."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"But I have explained this to you, Dee."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- It's a metaphor. - You keep using that word,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And also, I'm not making out with Dennis later."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- and that's not going to happen. - I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that either, bro."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I don't want you guys kissing either."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What if it's just a sexually charged embrace?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"All right, screw this shit. If no one likes the song, I'm going to cut the song."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I like the song. Dee, apologize to Charlie."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- and I don't feel comfortable. - I think it's a bad idea to cut the song."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Thank you. Uh, Dennis, could you take a five?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I would like for you to take a five. - Five... five minutes?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Can we have five now please? Can you have a five over there?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah, I'll bet. - What are we going to sing instead?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- What should I sing? - Uh, what's on the back there?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- It's the same song. - And what's on the very back page?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Nothing. - Then that's what you'll be singing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Everybody else has a big song. I deserve to have one."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Do you? Don't screw you?! - Don't screw me like this, Charlie. Come on!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Um, let me try and rember something."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Uh, let's see... was it... did Dee write a musical and come to Charlie with it?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And the gang. And the gang likes to screw it up and make it about themselves"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"and take it away from Charlie and ruin his hopes and dreams."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"So let me tell you something, Dee; Let me break down a scenario for you."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I could have Artemis do the song, okay, because you did not write it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"So you tell me, little Miss All That, what do you want to do..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Song."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Song?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah, song. - You want to sing a song."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- and you want to sing a song? - Yeah, I would like to do it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Good!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Thank you. Dennis, what are you doing?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Well, you guys are making... Can you just get on the stage please,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"and can we finish this rehearsal?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- It was really loud and... - Don't start!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Okay, you know what, you guys have me up to here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Okay, I'm here. I don't want to be here, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Now I have to play the piano and I'm all up here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Let's try and work this down a bit, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And you know what's going to do that, learning the song, the way it's written."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Back to the top. Five, six, seven, eight..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Stop, stop, stop. All right, not bad."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Good rhythm, love the enthusiasm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I feel like you're saying "boy's hole", and it's clearly "soul"."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And I know, Artemis, you did write "soul", right?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I did write "soul". - So it's "boy's soul"."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Like if you drag that out... Are you chewing gum?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah. - Give me the gum, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Give me the gum, Frank, please? - He said, "No gum"."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I said, "No gum," everyone. - It's unprofessional."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yes. - I think we have to be very careful"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- about how we do the rape scene. - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What in God's name are you talking? There's no rape scene."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- You do not rape him. - He doesn't?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"No! Look, let me just walk you guys through this, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Here's what happens. Once you pay the toll,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I want you to come over to Dennis over by his bed here, okay?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I'll be lying back. - You want me to cross the stage?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yes. - All right, this is a great opportunity"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"to showcase some skills, and, like, just put on a clinic."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I would rather you didn't. - Well, I think the people are gonna want to see that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And then I'll hop up sort of like a cat, like so."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Jesus Christ, just leave it at that."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"and then Frank could throw that blanket that he's got right there"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"over us, and then that way you can't see the penetration."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"That's a good idea. You know what, Charlie?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- the sexing from behind feel more classy. - That's good."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"And what I can do is thrust this way, and you can struggle."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I'm, like, all the way up here with it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Oh, my... Hey, you! - Oh, my God! You scared me!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I'm sorry. I dropped, like, a hundred-dollar bill under there."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I can't find it anywhere, and then... What are you doing walking here?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Is this one of your walking places? - Charlie, I have Mace."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, my God, check this out."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh, wow, a free ticket to a play that I don't want to see."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"You come and see this play... I didn't want to have to do this..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"...I'm gonna leave you alone for the rest of your life."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Really? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Okay, so you're not gonna follow me home anymore"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Yeah, well, it's great that you came. - Well, you listed me as your emergency contact."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I'm gonna stop listing you as my emergency contact. I'm gonna stop calling you."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"All that stuff if you see the musical. That's how much this means to me."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I regret it already."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"All right."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Charlie, what is going on, dude?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- When are we gonna start? - We're gonna start we're ready to start."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Stop hounding me."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"She's here! She's here! She's here! She's here!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I just want to brief everyone on this."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Artemus, can you bring in Gladys?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"She's going to be playing the piano instead of me tonight."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"like, all morning."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- And at a certain point... - How many times?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Don't shush me, okay? Now please don't shush me."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We have to start."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We just gotta do this. Let's stick together."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I can't really move my arms in this thing, so I think I need to rip the pits."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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