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Clips from The Office - Stress Relief (S05E05)

"DWIGHT: Last week, I gave a fire safety talk,"
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"It's my own fault for using PowerPoint."
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"Today, smoking is going to save lives."
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"(CLEARS THROAT)"
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"It's warm. JIM: Okay, go to the back door."
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"People, human lives, however..."
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"(EXCLAIMS) My hand! That's hot!"
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"Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself!"
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"Let's go! Let's go! Get out of my way!"
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"DWIGHT: Okay! Procedure! Procedure!"
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"DWIGHT: Exit points, people. Oscar?"
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"Stay alive, I'm getting help!"
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"I only weigh 82 pounds."
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"Okay, I am not dying here. Come on."
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"(FIRECRACKERS BURSTING)"
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"I'm trying to..."
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"Help! Help!"
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"Attention! Employees of Dunder Mifflin!"
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"Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise."
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"So what have we learned?"
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"You are black, Stanley! I'm gonna give him mouth-to-mouth."
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"No, no, no. Don't give him mouth-to-mouth for this."
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"You could have burned down the whole building."
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"And he should be released from the hospital"
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"and back in the office in a couple days."
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"Did you shout "fire," causing a panic?"
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"when nobody would heed of..."
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"Heeded... Heeded of... "Head." "Head.""
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"Okay."
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"(SIGHS)"
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"(EXHALES) The city."
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"Yes, we are. We are livid."
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"And we should take a part of his pay"
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"and donate it to the charity of your choice."
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"Something that Dwight doesn't like."
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"What's the matter? Are you hungry?"
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"No, Dwight, I am worried."
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"I'm taking over as safety man."
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"Nobody should have to go to work thinking,"
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"An office is a place where dreams come true."
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"Welcome back, Stanley."
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"Not maybe, yes or no."
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"No way. Uh-uh."
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"Andy."
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"until you are back on your feet."
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"when Stanley had his..."
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"When his heart went berserk."
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"Oh, I don't know."
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"And I don't have enough saved to retire."
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"Come on, Stanley! You're losing you!"
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"All right. ROSE: So assessing the situation."
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"I would want to live with no legs."
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"You don't do anything."
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"ROSE: All right. Well, let's get back to it, because you're losing him."
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"How is that going to help you?"
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"Yes, yes. I do. I love that song."
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"No, it's..."
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"Music loud, women warm Been kicked around since I was born"
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"ALL: Stayir alive, stayir alive"
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"So you lost him."
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"Get me some ice and Styrofoam bucket."
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"Are you okay?"
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"Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy?"
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"Well, okay, look."
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"A little movie popcorn."
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"So the friendship with the Nard-Dog has its privileges."
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"We don't normally download films illegally"
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"But Andy does, so we have to watch it with him."
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"Punishment fits the crime."
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"Hi. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hanaday."
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"Please, call me Lily."
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"All right, Lily."
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"My dad spent the night at our place last night."
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"Hmm?"
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"They're catching things that are totally going over my head."
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"he is going to have to issue a formal apology."
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"I state my regret."
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"You couldn't have memorized that?"
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"to sign this statement of regret"
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"and forced him not to exercise."
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"Now take a lesson from Stanley"
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"Hi, Dad."
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"SAM: Lily?"
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"realize you were in the bath."
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"And it was going to be Sophie's mom, not grandmother."
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"I know, but if I get it deeper..."
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"Breakfast?"
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"Unless soup... Does soup symbolize breakfast?"
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"Did my dad say anything about my mom?"
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"(CHANTING IN SANSKRIT)"
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"Everybody sit on the floor, Indian-style like me."
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"a place for Stanley Hudson as I can."
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"And I think sounds have a lot to do with that."
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"(SAD INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"That one makes me think"
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"It's kind of nice."
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"Don't open your eyes. What? Oh."
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"And you walk up toward the castle."
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"None of them have shoes."
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"Racism is dead, Stanley."
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"(BEEPING STARTS)"
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"(BEEPING SLOWS DOWN)"
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"I think that thing is on the fritz."
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"(BEEPING STOPS)"
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"That's what he said. Right, guys? Because of gay."
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"Looks like I'm the killer."
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"What did you say to my dad?"
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"After you talked, he called my mom"
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"Oh, my God. Pam, I don't know. I..."
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"I mean, I just was honest with him and I..."
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"so it was her parents or my parents."
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"What could Jim have said to make my dad want to leave my mom?"
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"Do I stress you out?"
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"Like, "Those shoulder pads are really boss, man.""
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"It's what made me want to become a boss."
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"But now boss is just slang for "jerk in charge.""
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"is that you are too intimidated"
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"In short... A vacation."
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"Everybody gets together and you start hurling insults at the one guy,"
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"and everybody's laughing and everybody is hugging each other."
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