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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Hunting Trip (S02E02)

"Hang on a minute, Tom, I'm not done berating Leslie."
Parks and Recreation
"She was covering for me because I didn't have a hunting license."
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"You didn't get a license?"
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"What kind of moron doesn't get a license?"
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"But she covered for me, and I'm in the clear."
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"Yeah. That's right."
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"Well, Ron, you know, I couldn't let..."
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"You did good."
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"Hi, Ann. Hey."
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"Thank you. Thank you, all."
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"It's pretty great having Andy working in the building."
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"Brendanawicz!"
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"I have been busy."
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"that if we wanna find the money, we can."
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"See, the thing is, when we allocate money for parks..."
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"Just a reminder. Tomorrow's a half-day."
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"Jerry, Mark and I have to conduct the annual trail survey"
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"at Slippery Elm Park."
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"Ron, I had the trail survey hats made to commemorate the trip."
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"Nice, Jerry."
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"Oh, and if you have any questions about the details,"
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"feel free to shoot me an email."
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"The only trails he's gonna be surveying are trails of lies and deception."
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"Fine, all the men."
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"I want me, Tom and all the other ladies included on your hunting trip."
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"You're literally listening to turkey calls."
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"it's not just a hunting trip,"
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"it's a tradition."
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"I am really good at hunting and I'm even better at being one of the guys."
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"Well, it's a work event,"
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"so legally I can't stop you from coming."
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"the one tiny aspect of government I enjoyed"
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"or do you want me to write it down?"
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"I'll write it down. Can you handle this?"
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"Yes. Can you handle this?"
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"Well, try, okay?"
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"And if you do it, I will name the first turkey I shoot after you."
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"Cool."
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"Nope. But I am ready to relax by the fire and get my Real Simple magazine on."
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"Well, if you change your mind, you're now officially a licensed Indiana hunter."
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"Oh, gross."
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"There he is."
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"Holy cow. Ron, it is good to be back."
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"I am the Pants King! Bow to me."
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"Bow to the Pants Queen."
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"When you're out with the boys, you gotta be ready for a good pantsing."
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"Nice touch, Haverford."
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"You sure?"
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"as a user of mouth tobacco."
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"I'm full of surprises, Ron."
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"Oh, man."
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"My stomach's a little upset. I feel a little queasy."
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"I swallowed it. You're supposed to swallow it, right?"
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"All right."
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"Poor little buddy."
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"Why they call it chew and not swallow. Am I right, Ron?"
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"All right, safety basics!"
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"Donna, can you tell me why it's bad to look down the barrel of your gun?"
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"Is that a trick question?"
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"No, Donna, don't! Please!"
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"Rule number one, do not point the weapon at a person."
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"Now, every year, before we go on our first hunt, we do a toast."
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"To the hunt."
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"Here, here. Here, here."
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"The only way to defeat the beast is to find the beast within."
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"Ron, your toast sucked."
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"And it is said by me."
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"Leslie, you said that we were gonna hunt together."
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"Oh, Ann, I always forget because you're so pretty, you're not used to rejection."
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"All right, I hope you're ready to discuss some college bowl game scenarios!"
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"and I really have to pee. Can you just sit here for two seconds"
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"and just listen, please? Yes."
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"Turkeys can."
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"Boo-la, boo-la, boo-la!"
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"We do that the first time one of us hits something."
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"to a lot of man-on-man-on-man action, but I just wanted to say I'm very grateful"
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"that you let me come along on this trip."
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"That's fine."
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"Boo-la, boo-la, boo-la!"
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"Boo-la, boo-la, boo-la!"
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"I think this is gonna be a really good bonding sesh for me and Ron."
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"Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are"
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"at something they love."
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"Hey, check this out."
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"I am on hold with the State Parks Department"
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"I am on hold, so suck on my butt"
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"Did Mark go? Yeah."
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"No, Ann's there."
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"God! How come he gets to do all the things I wanna do?"
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"Go hunting, Ann."
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"Maybe a deer will eat him."
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"That would be really awesome. But I don't think that will happen, probably."
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"You're surprised that my breasts didn't throw my aim off?"
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"Leslie, please."
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"I don't care that you're a girl. I just don't like change."
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"I like going to the same place with the same people,"
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"That's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal."
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"Let's kill it! You talking to me, bitch?"
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"What were you aiming at?"
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"Nothing."
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"Right? Yeah!"
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"Yeah. And keeping one's eyes open is always a good rule of thumb around guns."
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"But this trip, it is the one time of year I get to pee standing up."
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"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I gotta pee."
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"- Over here. - All right, right there."
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"- Ron, I got your hat! Ron, I have your hat! - Oh, my God!"
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"I was shot in the head with a shotgun."
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"Ron, it's actually not that serious. I just need you to stay calm, okay?"
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"Yeah, I'm just gonna stay angry. I find that relaxes me."
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"Okay, Ron, we called 911 and they're gonna send a ranger."
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"Oh, damn! This is a mess."
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"Day bed? Yeah."
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"- Donna? - Don't worry."
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"What? Is it your heart? Are you having trouble breathing?"
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"It's my car. Someone shot my car!"
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"Here you go. Here's your Scotch, Ron. There we go, Ron."
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"And Ann is the best nurse in North America. All right. There you go."
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"What? You okay?"
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"There was a bird kind of near me,"
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"Okay."
Parks and Recreation
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