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Clips from Please Like Me - Rhubarb and Custard (S01E01)

"we would advise that she is transferred to a private facility."
Please Like Me
"- A mental home. - We don't call it that."
Please Like Me
"But... like, that's what it is?"
Please Like Me
"Well, we don't call it that."
Please Like Me
"Aunty Peg could move in with her."
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"I don't think Mum actually likes her."
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"I can't be her carer."
Please Like Me
"I don't even know how to care for myself."
Please Like Me
"I never floss."
Please Like Me
"- Sorry this took so long. - Oh..."
Please Like Me
"Thanks, lovey."
Please Like Me
"So..."
Please Like Me
"What have you guys decided to do with me?"
Please Like Me
"Um..."
Please Like Me
"We haven't... decided."
Please Like Me
"But the doctor thinks we should put you in a mental home."
Please Like Me
"What, you think..."
Please Like Me
"Am I mental?"
Please Like Me
"I don't know."
Please Like Me
"So, what are the other options?"
Please Like Me
"Well, someone needs to live with you,"
Please Like Me
"so that could be... me, I guess, or Aunty Peg."
Please Like Me
"Ah, no. No."
Please Like Me
"Ok."
Please Like Me
"I shouldn't be your problem."
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"Well, I mean, I haven't decided."
Please Like Me
"But you could do all the same sorts of things at my place as you do at Tom's."
Please Like Me
"- It's ok. I'm cool with that. - I haven't decided. I'll think about it."
Please Like Me
"But, you see, you could bring Claire home to sleep over, if you want."
Please Like Me
"What I'm cool, ok?"
Please Like Me
"Also, uh, Claire and I broke up."
Please Like Me
"What?"
Please Like Me
"- Who broke up with who? - She broke up with me."
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"Oh, well. Look, even if you want casual girls..."
Please Like Me
"- Mum, I'm not having sex in the house. - I'm just saying you can if you want."
Please Like Me
"Ok. I won't."
Please Like Me
"What'd I do with the parking ticket?"
Please Like Me
"Mae! How long have you been in the car?"
Please Like Me
"Your father told me to wait here for a moment."
Please Like Me
"That was six hours ago."
Please Like Me
"I left you the keys and I brought you a drink."
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"- Mmm, like a dog. - (JOSH LAUGHS)"
Please Like Me
"Oh, yeah. Thanks, Mae."
Please Like Me
"Your father thinks it is his fault because of the divorce."
Please Like Me
"Well, clearly, it is."
Please Like Me
"Oh, yes, of course it is."
Please Like Me
"You break up with someone, what is the point for them in living?"
Please Like Me
"They may as well end it."
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"They have experienced perfect love and they will never find happiness again,"
Please Like Me
"so they may as well end it, because you are so perfect."
Please Like Me
"Alan, I promise you,"
Please Like Me
"no-one is attempting suicide because a fat man like you dumped them."
Please Like Me
"- Yes, well... - She has a mental disorder."
Please Like Me
"Yes, I understand that, Mae, but I do think..."
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"- It's like a scrotum. - (CHUCKLES)"
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"Shaniqua!"
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"- Ain't nobody gonna mess with you. - Hey, Tom."
Please Like Me
"- Hi. - Hey, Shaniqua."
Please Like Me
"- How's it going? - Oh, yeah. Big day."
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"I have had a big day."
Please Like Me
"Hi."
Please Like Me
"Ooh! You're back."
Please Like Me
"He never left."
Please Like Me
"He made spaghetti. You love spaghetti."
Please Like Me
"I really do love spaghetti!"
Please Like Me
"Oh, you're not..."
Please Like Me
"you're not gonna stay and eat spaghetti?"
Please Like Me
"Oh. Ok."
Please Like Me
"Thanks for all the... stuff."
Please Like Me
"Why doesn't Niamh ever do that?"
Please Like Me
"What, make you dinner and then not make you talk to her while you eat it?"
Please Like Me
"Yeah."
Please Like Me
"You could just... break up with her and then go to a restaurant."
Please Like Me
"Mmm."
Please Like Me
"- Wow. That is very nice of you. - Yeah. I'm a modern-day hero."
Please Like Me
""Hero" is a strong word."
Please Like Me
"More like Young Dickface of the Year."
Please Like Me
"Brilliant. That's clever."
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"TOM: I wrote you a poem, Shaniqua."
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"JOSH: Shit, Tom! That sounds gay."
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"TOM: I know a sassy urban girl,"
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"her fur as dark as night."
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"But like the moon in the darkest woods,"
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"her spirit is my light."
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"JOSH: Oh, you sure do know"
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"how to make a girl feel special!"
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"and I happened to be googling giraffes again today."
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"Ok! I'll break up with her tonight."
Please Like Me
"and you were naked in the backyard at your friend's house"
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"Josh, uh, Tom told me about how Claire broke up with you."
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"It's just Claire's probably at home crying,"
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"FATHER: Josh, it's your dad. Um..."
Please Like Me
"Just so I know, we're not talking about your mum"
Please Like Me
"- Sex with Claire. - You're so frustrating!"
Please Like Me
"I don't know how to do caring."
Please Like Me
"Josh, I'm sorry to hear about your mother."
Please Like Me
"No, I'm almost definitely gonna be Young Australian of the Year for this."
Please Like Me
"I'm sorry, Tom, am I embarrassing you again?"
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"What are you hiding?" you know?"
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"Yes... when he kissed me, my lip started bleeding,"
Please Like Me
"How's your mum?"
Please Like Me
"Anyway, I'd best be off."
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"Dad, I think she's right. I don't know if you've seen your face lately."
Please Like Me
"Can I sleep over?"
Please Like Me
"- I love Pop Rocks. - Yeah?"
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"It's the third worst thing that's ever happened to me during sex."
Please Like Me
"What are you talking about I..."
Please Like Me
"- Mae, have you got the parking ticket? - No. You took it."
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"I just... I didn't want him thinking I was hitting on him."
Please Like Me
"Oh, yeah."
Please Like Me
"Ohh! Why did she have to be so stupid?"
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"There's another thing, also, um, to that."
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"- You dumped me yesterday, yeah? - Yeah."
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"Yeah."
Please Like Me
"FEMALE RECORDED VOICE: Message received at 8:09am."
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"- Oh, fuck, Mum. - No, please don't swear, Josh."
Please Like Me
"What?"
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"Should I ask you what for, or should we..."
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"Sorry, I just have to get through these questions,"
Please Like Me