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Clips from Please Like Me - Rhubarb and Custard (S01E01)

JOSH: Why can't I ever just let myself properly enjoy things?

"JOSH: Why can't I ever just let myself properly enjoy things?"

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we just ordered a $19 sundae, you know, delicious.

"we just ordered a $19 sundae, you know, delicious."

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What an incredible sundae!

"What an incredible sundae!"

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I just...

"I just..."

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I kind of feel like we've drifted, you know.

"I kind of feel like we've drifted, you know."

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Wouldn't really be that different, would it?

"Wouldn't really be that different, would it?"

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* Ooh * * Oh, the good Lord knows it *

"* Ooh * * Oh, the good Lord knows it *"

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* Ooh * * I left better behind *

"* Ooh * * I left better behind *"

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* I'll be fine, yeah, yeah, yeah *

"* I'll be fine, yeah, yeah, yeah *"

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* I left better behind I'll be fine... *

"* I left better behind I'll be fine... *"

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I don't!

"I don't!"

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I imagine it's because you think that you kind of look like one

"I imagine it's because you think that you kind of look like one"

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- Giraffes aren't graceful. - I think they're surprisingly graceful.

"- Giraffes aren't graceful. - I think they're surprisingly graceful."

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(SOBS) I just don't know who to talk to.

"(SOBS) I just don't know who to talk to."

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He's all upset. He's a mess.

"He's all upset. He's a mess."

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(LOLLIES POP)

"(LOLLIES POP)"

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Oh, that's disappointing. You know, I really liked Claire.

"Oh, that's disappointing. You know, I really liked Claire."

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and then one day, you order a $19 sundae and it's finished.

"and then one day, you order a $19 sundae and it's finished."

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Right.

"Right."

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Maybe we could sort this out with indoor voices.

"Maybe we could sort this out with indoor voices."

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So... what... what do you do?

"So... what... what do you do?"

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I'm gay.

"I'm gay."

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(NIAMH CONTINUES MOANING LOUDLY)

"(NIAMH CONTINUES MOANING LOUDLY)"

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Why is that?

"Why is that?"

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Oh, you've got a pretty big bed. I can just crash there.

"Oh, you've got a pretty big bed. I can just crash there."

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I don't know.

"I don't know."

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Don't really get the big spoon/little spoon thing.

"Don't really get the big spoon/little spoon thing."

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(REPEATED BEEPS)

"(REPEATED BEEPS)"

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(BEEP!)

"(BEEP!)"

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(BEEP!)

"(BEEP!)"

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Call me!

"Call me!"

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He's not wearing a shirt.

"He's not wearing a shirt."

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How do you even drink half a bottle of Baileys?

"How do you even drink half a bottle of Baileys?"

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I can sort of appreciate why their standards are so low.

"I can sort of appreciate why their standards are so low."

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- You had actual sex? - No. My lip was bleeding.

"- You had actual sex? - No. My lip was bleeding."

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It can be good to share your feelings.

"It can be good to share your feelings."

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Nah.

"Nah."

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- Hey, Tom. - Hey, Alan.

"- Hey, Tom. - Hey, Alan."

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I think Mum tried to kill herself.

"I think Mum tried to kill herself."

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You think?

"You think?"

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Oh, um, when I couldn't get onto you, I called Claire.

"Oh, um, when I couldn't get onto you, I called Claire."

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Yep. Yes.

"Yep. Yes."

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Yes, I do.

"Yes, I do."

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Just have a few questions.

"Just have a few questions."

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I've still got a little bit of a headache.

"I've still got a little bit of a headache."

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Hi.

"Hi."

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Well, um, are you ok?

"Well, um, are you ok?"

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I didn't mean to, I promise. Honestly, he just...

"I didn't mean to, I promise. Honestly, he just..."

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- There? - Yeah, he was...

"- There? - Yeah, he was..."

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- Oh, come on. No. - Well, did you?

"- Oh, come on. No. - Well, did you?"

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- You guess? - Yes. I mean, yes...

"- You guess? - Yes. I mean, yes..."

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My mum attempted suicide today, so I have a pretty good excuse

"My mum attempted suicide today, so I have a pretty good excuse"

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Just want you to know that.

"Just want you to know that."

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Don't make me move back in with her. I couldn't bear it.

"Don't make me move back in with her. I couldn't bear it."

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And you shouldn't have to live with me either, Josh. I...

"And you shouldn't have to live with me either, Josh. I..."

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I'm not sure I could move out on Tom.

"I'm not sure I could move out on Tom."

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Like, you can have sex in the house, if you want.

"Like, you can have sex in the house, if you want."

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Well, I don't want to. I especially don't want to with your permission.

"Well, I don't want to. I especially don't want to with your permission."

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- No, I am just saying, ok? - Well, don't.

"- No, I am just saying, ok? - Well, don't."

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It's not like that.

"It's not like that."

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(SNIFFLES)

"(SNIFFLES)"

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Yeah, I wanted to help out, so I cleaned the house and I made dinner.

"Yeah, I wanted to help out, so I cleaned the house and I made dinner."

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No, I promised my dad I'd visit him, so...

"No, I promised my dad I'd visit him, so..."

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Oh, yeah, Tom.

"Oh, yeah, Tom."

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I just... I just really think I have to move back in with her.

"I just... I just really think I have to move back in with her."

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That's really good.

"That's really good."

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Why can't I ever just be in the moment, you know?

"Why can't I ever just be in the moment, you know?"

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I know today is brilliant, it's sunny, we're in the First World,

"I know today is brilliant, it's sunny, we're in the First World,"

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But all I can think about is my rubbish face and obsessing.

"But all I can think about is my rubbish face and obsessing."

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I mean, it's just, I'm turning 21 soon,

"I mean, it's just, I'm turning 21 soon,"

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and this is as good as my face is ever going to get.

"and this is as good as my face is ever going to get."

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This is it.

"This is it."

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It's all downhill from here.

"It's all downhill from here."

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I was hoping puberty would do a better job, but no.

"I was hoping puberty would do a better job, but no."

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Puberty did a good job with you.

"Puberty did a good job with you."

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You used to be really awkward to look at.

"You used to be really awkward to look at."

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Incredible. Clap. Don't you think this is incredible?

"Incredible. Clap. Don't you think this is incredible?"

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Isn't it just mind-blowing to think we actually get to eat this?

"Isn't it just mind-blowing to think we actually get to eat this?"

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Josh, I want to talk to you about something.

"Josh, I want to talk to you about something."

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Oh. No.

"Oh. No."

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No. No, you don't.

"No. No, you don't."

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- I think we should break up. - Oh.

"- I think we should break up. - Oh."

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Oh, that's bad.

"Oh, that's bad."

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This isn't good at all.

"This isn't good at all."

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- Also, you're gay. - What?!

"- Also, you're gay. - What?!"

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No...

"No..."

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No... no, I'm not.

"No... no, I'm not."

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- Josh, you're probably gay. - I'm not.

"- Josh, you're probably gay. - I'm not."

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I mean, we could still be friends, if you like.

"I mean, we could still be friends, if you like."

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This $19 sundae's suddenly pretty fucking humiliating.

"This $19 sundae's suddenly pretty fucking humiliating."

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SONG: * One, two * * One, two, three, four *

"SONG: * One, two * * One, two, three, four *"

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♪ Ooh ♪

"♪ Ooh ♪"

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* Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah * * Ooh *

"* Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah * * Ooh *"

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* Ooh * * Ok *

"* Ooh * * Ok *"

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* Ooh * * Oh, the good Lord knows it *

"* Ooh * * Oh, the good Lord knows it *"

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* Make my mamma tum another blind eye *

"* Make my mamma tum another blind eye *"

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* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah *

"* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah *"

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- Tom. - Hey.

"- Tom. - Hey."

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Workplace sexual harassment.

"Workplace sexual harassment."

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Here we go. Mm-mm! Workplace sexual harassment.

"Here we go. Mm-mm! Workplace sexual harassment."

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- Oh! Oh! - You don't work here.

"- Oh! Oh! - You don't work here."

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This isn't workplace sexual harassment. It's just normal sexual harassment.

"This isn't workplace sexual harassment. It's just normal sexual harassment."

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- What are you doing? - I'm on my break.

"- What are you doing? - I'm on my break."

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- Tom, are you googling giraffes again? - Yeah.

"- Tom, are you googling giraffes again? - Yeah."

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- Why are you always googling giraffes? - I'm not always googling giraffes.

"- Why are you always googling giraffes? - I'm not always googling giraffes."

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Just last time you came in, I was googling giraffes,

"Just last time you came in, I was googling giraffes,"

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I just hate that you think you have some sort of special affinity with giraffes.

"I just hate that you think you have some sort of special affinity with giraffes."

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but... but less graceful.

"but... but less graceful."

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No, they're not. Have you ever seen one pick something off the floor?

"No, they're not. Have you ever seen one pick something off the floor?"

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I guess you would know, with all your... special research.

"I guess you would know, with all your... special research."

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- Claire said she broke up with you. - Yeah.

"- Claire said she broke up with you. - Yeah."

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Yeah. Yep, Yep. Yep

"Yeah. Yep, Yep. Yep"

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Also, I cut myself shaving, and you won't shut up about giraffes,

"Also, I cut myself shaving, and you won't shut up about giraffes,"

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so that's three pieces of bad news in one day.

"so that's three pieces of bad news in one day."

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I've decided I am going to break up with Niamh.

"I've decided I am going to break up with Niamh."

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Why do you do this to me, Tom? We both know you're not going to.

"Why do you do this to me, Tom? We both know you're not going to."

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I don't know why you lie to me. You get my little hopes up.

"I don't know why you lie to me. You get my little hopes up."

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- When I try, something gets in the way. - I don't think it does.

"- When I try, something gets in the way. - I don't think it does."

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You put things in the way. You're scared of what she'll do.

"You put things in the way. You're scared of what she'll do."

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Last time, I was about to and her turtle died.

"Last time, I was about to and her turtle died."

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