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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Walks Into a Bar! (S02E02)

"Oh, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Every penny I have is tied into this gala."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll gain ten pounds and wear the same dress as you somewhere."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and claw your way to the top, and I thought,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to my Michelangelo,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"the Leibniz to my Newton,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to make an end,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Unseat me as Alpha-Mom"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(BOTH) You're insane."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'Sup?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- 'Sup? - Soup."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Good things can happen when you least expect it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you only had the clothes on your back,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Was it cocaine? For me it was cocaine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Don't answer it! It's an ostrich!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My gala is back on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Way ahead of you, boss."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, get your gay friend over here for flower arranging."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tringus! Sorry, I'm excited."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Turdgun!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Really?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tonight, we rise."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"without a celebrity entertainer."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and face-hider, Sia."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But sadly, they're here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But Walter is very romantic."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, it's so he never smells like another woman."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"instead of just being wheeled into his hotel room"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(SIGHS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"until the time is right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And that time is now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"exquisite."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"a nursery rhyme too slowly!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Eek! A sound!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So if someone tells me that drywall"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, I don't talk to the guys at work"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And you kept listening."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Everybody likes me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, you're in a different river."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, after what we've been through,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"just because you're out doesn't mean it's out of you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(BURPS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to adult movie star, I assume."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ladies and gentlemen,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(CROWD MURMURING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Chandelie-eee-eer ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Christopher Columbus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ms. Jacqueline's dress, but I really had to go,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimbecile, what do I always say?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(SCOFFS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(LINE BEEPS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't even have a venue."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"then you're in denial."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've missed too much already."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Schools for our dumb kids to get into."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I failed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so he could come spend a few hours with me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's what she said?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"because I would have."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I spelled honour with a u like they do in England."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but whatever your deal is,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's gonna be, uh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm trying to get rid of five-foot rebar."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you're a survivor."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I get another little umbrella."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What is this, Sadie Hawkins Day?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Finally, here is the Raphael"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"wasn't even his."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(SIGHS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(BLEATING LIKE A GOAT) Roar!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why are you talking like that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"If I had more time, you know I'd love to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't have time to slow down."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"no matter how it goes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(CRYING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ladies, I know what you want more than anything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to rust unburnished,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Gross. Tell me more."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm gonna have to live off that forever."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And everyone's gonna be there."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but I get that all the time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, those are our speakers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Because I don't have $1 1/2 billion and you know it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(JACQUELINE) Deirdre!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Obviously, my loft isn't perfect,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And the Phillips."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've got them all."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The mistresses."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Meet his friends,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes, but no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wait for it..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"they continued the mistreatment of indigenous peoples"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's about fixing 400 years of injustice"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Last night, Goatzilla flubbed his line again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(SQUEALS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or Thursday after Wendy Williams."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"where the bad guys are plants,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(JACQUELINE) What have you done?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(GASPS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know, then none of this would be happening."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Don't do anything gay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How many friends have you played in a yogurt ad?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Who the hell is that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Too bad it's not a real gala"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What would you do"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(BREATHES DEEPLY) The pain is..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So I've just been trying to be that guy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(GRUNTING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They're inside the wire!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(APPLAUSE)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They paid only $24."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(MACHINES WHIRRING LOUDLY)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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