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Clips from Modern Family - The Bicycle Thief (S01E01)

"It says right here that you should- That's worrying about it."
Modern Family
"I thought you guys might need a drink."
Modern Family
"0h, you have no idea."
Modern Family
"Manny, miamor, I have to go get some stuff for our trip."
Modern Family
"¡Ay! But have some fun with your father, okay? And I'll see you Monday."
Modern Family
"Jay shocked himself twice. 0kay, Manny."
Modern Family
"Well, I warned him. Yep, he's been a big help."
Modern Family
"Look at you two with your private jokes already."
Modern Family
"You're a regular Salazar and El Oso."
Modern Family
"It's a very big comedy team in Colombia."
Modern Family
"El Oso is always hitting Salazar in the head with the ladder and things."
Modern Family
"And sometimes they wear dresses. Hmm."
Modern Family
"They make you laugh, but they also make you think."
Modern Family
"Luke, you in there? Hey, Dad."
Modern Family
"Hey. Hey, buddy. [Video Game Sounds]"
Modern Family
"That was, uh- That was pretty fun today, huh? Getting a new bike."
Modern Family
"Yeah, it was awesome. So, uh, what happened after I took off?"
Modern Family
"Anything you want to share with me? Not really."
Modern Family
"So, if I, uh, went out to the garage,"
Modern Family
"took a picture for a scrapbook, there'd be no surprises?"
Modern Family
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it. I just made a mistake."
Modern Family
"Yeah, a big mistake! You're making me look really bad here."
Modern Family
"I told Mom you were ready for this."
Modern Family
"- It's just a scratch, Dad. - That's not the point, Luke! What?"
Modern Family
"I scratched it on my way into the driveway. I'm sorry."
Modern Family
"So, it's not stolen?"
Modern Family
"No. Why?"
Modern Family
"Those are thieves."
Modern Family
"You sit there and think about the scratch part. That's not good either."
Modern Family
"[Clattering] I gotta fix that step."
Modern Family
"So don't scratch anything while I'm gone, unless it itches. That's different."
Modern Family
"I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike."
Modern Family
"Best news- Claire knows nothing."
Modern Family
"So, I figure I'll just dump the new bike where I stole the first bike."
Modern Family
"That way, random kid gets his back,"
Modern Family
"and this new bike doesn't raise a lot of embarrassing questions..."
Modern Family
"So, everybody's happy."
Modern Family
"[Gear Shifts] Uh-oh."
Modern Family
"Ah, son of a- You gave me the wrong screwdriver."
Modern Family
"Maybe you're just using it wrong."
Modern Family
"My dad's great with tools. He can get the wheels off a car in less than a minute."
Modern Family
"[Quietly] Just get me to wine country. Just get me to wine country."
Modern Family
"I think my arm is broken. Relax. It's not broken."
Modern Family
"How do you know? You don't know anything."
Modern Family
"You have no concern for safety."
Modern Family
"Because it didn't hit you that hard. Why don't you just say it?"
Modern Family
"You don't want me around. You know what? Right now, I don't!"
Modern Family
"I don't wanna be with you either. I'm gonna go wait for my dad."
Modern Family
"0h, but- but if you leave, how will I ever finish?"
Modern Family
"You know what? I wish you never married my mom."
Modern Family
"I hate living here. You think I like this arrangement?"
Modern Family
"I got a two-seater parked in the driveway!"
Modern Family
"I mean, I don't understand."
Modern Family
"I actually think it's pretty funny. You do?"
Modern Family
"I do. Yes."
Modern Family
"I mean, you steal a bike from some poor kid, and then the bike gets stolen from you."
Modern Family
"It's hilarious. [Laughing]"
Modern Family
"Classic me, right? Yeah!"
Modern Family
"So, where were you when it got stolen? Oh, I was getting some gas."
Modern Family
"and if I had a soda, I wouldn't be thirsty anymore."
Modern Family
"So I bought one, then I drank it all right there, which is why I don't have the can."
Modern Family
"Well, honey, please, let's try to remember that I'm your wife, not your mom."
Modern Family
"So in the future, you don't need to hide things from me. Okay?"
Modern Family
"0kay. Oh! Oh, yeah."
Modern Family
"You get back here, you! What are you doing, Phil?"
Modern Family
"I just love ya so darn much!"
Modern Family
"I know. I love you too, but that hurts. Let's get you inside."
Modern Family
"Hi. I know. That's hurting a lot."
Modern Family
"[Phil] This is a hot one. Hello! Hi there!"
Modern Family
"Hi again. Oh, hi."
Modern Family
"I, uh, found your bike."
Modern Family
"Uh- Oh, good! You-"
Modern Family
"At the gas station? No, at my house."
Modern Family
"One of my neighbors saw it and put it in my garage when you were in my bedroom, so-"
Modern Family
"See, like he did. You gotta do that."
Modern Family
"You gotta grab it like him. So, seen any movies lately?"
Modern Family
"Uh, yeah."
Modern Family
"You know, my husband and I just rented, uh, Mamma Mia! Which I liked,"
Modern Family
"but I don't know that Meryl Streep was the right choice."
Modern Family
"What did you think?"
Modern Family
"Excuse me. Meryl Streep could play Batman and be the right choice."
Modern Family
"She's perfection..."
Modern Family
"whether she's divorcing Kramer, whether she's wearing Prada."
Modern Family
"Don't even get me started on Sophie's Choice."
Modern Family
"I get emotional thinking about it."
Modern Family
"She couldn't forgive herself."
Modern Family
"[Whimpers]"
Modern Family
"I guess she was okay."
Modern Family
"Really? Ooh."
Modern Family
"Uh-uh-uh."
Modern Family
"Grab the blocks, sweetheart."
Modern Family
"- You're not even interested in it. - Is Henry stacking?"
Modern Family
"Good job, Henry!"
Modern Family
"Good job!"
Modern Family
"♪ Q-R-S T-U-V ♪"
Modern Family
"♪ W-X-Y and Z ♪"
Modern Family
"♪ Now I know my- ♪♪"
Modern Family
"Whoa, Lily! Oh!"
Modern Family
"Not so high. Wow!"
Modern Family
"- That is a big moment for her. - Yeah."
Modern Family
"Would you like a videotape?"
Modern Family
"Uh, you know, I don't- I don't know if I can actually get her to do it again, so-"
Modern Family
"Well, we tape all of our classes."
Modern Family
"We don't like parents bringing cameras in. It keeps them out of the moment."
Modern Family
"I'll get you a copy after class. That's super. Yeah."
Modern Family
"Great. Thank you."
Modern Family
"I don't know what's happened to me, but I just stole a baby's intellectual property."
Modern Family
"What? You'll see it tonight on the news."
Modern Family
"- Come on. Let's just go. - Oh, look who's here!"
Modern Family
"Anton and Scott! Sorry we're late!"
Modern Family
"Don't look at me. The eye candy here can't leave the house..."
Modern Family
"without spending 20 minutes in front of the mirror."
Modern Family
"[Laughter] Are you kidding me?"
Modern Family
"I am so sorry."
Modern Family
"Look at those queens. I would have killed with this crowd."
Modern Family
"But you had to clip my wings- which you used to be the wind beneath."
Modern Family
"I know. I'm sor- This class has turned me into a complete monster."
Modern Family
"I'm- I'm just- I'll make it up to you. Let's just go."
Modern Family
"Okay, it's time for Parents Dance."
Modern Family
"Everybody dance for your baby! ♪♪ [Dance]"
Modern Family
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