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Clips from NewsRadio - The Breakup (S02E02)

"Between you and me? Yeah."
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"Yes."
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"Issue? Temper."
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"Hers? Mine."
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"Hit her? No."
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"Throw something? No."
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"Call her a name? Yes."
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"What? "B" word."
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"Bitch? Yes."
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"You know what you need to do..."
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"Apologize?"
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"No. That's not going to make her feel any better."
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"What she needs is to see you suffer."
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"Well, how do I arrange that?"
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"Lisa will think of something. She always does."
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"and you will feel very, very ashamed."
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"She give you this sock back?"
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"Yeah."
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"Ohh-ho-ho."
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"Listen, we should at least sing "Happy Birthday" to her."
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"No."
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"Dave? Ditto."
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"What's the creepy vibes from you two?"
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"Did you guys get drunk and make out"
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"that Lisa's down about her tax audit,"
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"which-- but their two bad moods are completely unrelated."
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"Wait, you told me"
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"Dave was getting audited,"
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"and you had female disorders."
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"No, I-- I'm sorry. Lisa's fine menstrually."
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"I just get..."
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"Sorry about your mom, man."
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"Beth, what's wrong with my mom?"
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"MATTHEW: You don't even remember?"
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"No. It has a very technical name--"
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"She has a cold."
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"And, uh, what was your problem again?"
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"Mm, tax audit."
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"Which is really bad because she cheated--"
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"I don't cheat on my taxes."
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"You guys figure it out yourselves."
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"I'm really sorry, you guys. I just can't take it anymore."
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"I'm starting to hate myself."
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"For lying to my closest friends on a daily basis."
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"So I'm standing there, and the usher goes,"
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"Oh, my God, I can't take the pressure!"
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"Look, you know, this isn't easy on us either."
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"Exactly. Which is why you should just tell the staff you're dating."
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"Beth, we will tell everyone."
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"When the time's right."
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"Let me tell you something, the time better get right real soon,"
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"because I'm going to crack,"
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"and I'm going to blurt your little secret out to the whole staff."
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"Yeah, first person singular. Future tense."
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"I mean, "Yes, I did." Past tense. Last week."
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"They're just pretending not to know."
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"Bill..."
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"Honey, I'm sorry I got angry at you"
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"You're a Scorpio."
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"Well, I'm really sorry."
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"Oh, and by the way,"
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"was to get my birth date off my driver's license..."
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"It's somewhere safe, my dear."
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"Everyone... Uh, everybody..."
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"Could you come here a second?"
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"TOGETHER: Um..."
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"Well, uh..."
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"Dave and I would just like to apologize to you..."
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"For lying..."
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"About our affair here."
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"Our romance."
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"Our re...lationship."
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"Wh... what relationship?"
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"Beth, can we see you in my office for a minute?"
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"LISA: Now!"
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"But I really do think it's going to be better"
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"for both of you."
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"Beth, you lied to us."
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"I know, and I couldn't have pulled it off as well as I did"
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"if I hadn't had so much good practice from you,"
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"and I want to thank you for that."
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"You know, I actually feel better."
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"I do, I do."
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"Now, you know, every time I walk in here,"
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"people are going to think that we're making out."
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"That's because you usually are."
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"No more sneaking around, no more lying."
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"Don't you feel good?"
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"We can do that now."
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"It might feel strange, even dirty, right,"
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"Yeah, yeah, okay."
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"I know. I know."
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"Dave, maybe you hold Lisa's hand, right,"
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"because now you're allowed to do that."
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"That looks really queer."
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"[CATCALLS AND CHEERING]"
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"What'd it say?"
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"Hi, Mr. James."
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"Hey, kids. The office wasn't a-rockin',"
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"so I let myself in."
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"Have a seat."
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"So, so, so, so."
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"It's all out in the open, huh?"
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"Yes, sir."
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"Good. Which one of you's going to quit first?"
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"Well, sir, with all due respect,"
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"Of course not, and I'd hate to lose either one of you."
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"But if you think keeping a secret was hard,"
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"I give it about three months."
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"Mr. James, I really don't think"
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"the staff cares as much about this"
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"as you think they do."
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"Yeah, we're just asking you guys as friends"
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"to please give us some privacy."
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"I think we hear what you're saying."
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"You'd like us to leave the room"
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"Now, let's take it seriously,"
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"because Dave and Lisa have been honest,"
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"I mean, this is a really, really rocky time"
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"we'd rather keep between the two of us."
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