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Clips from Central Park - Of Course You Realize This Means Ward (S02E02)

"With everything you just said--"
Central Park
"- Time to share the truth with the kids. - Wait, what?"
Central Park
"- I want to say, I didn't forget my guitar. - Yeah, that's great."
Central Park
"I did, but I went back and got it. So I have it now."
Central Park
"- I thought I was going on first. - [feedback]"
Central Park
"You were."
Central Park
"Hey, kids. I used to speak to groups like this"
Central Park
"about the importance of nature and trees and conservation,"
Central Park
"but I'm not gonna do that, because it's a pointless waste of time."
Central Park
"Time you don't have."
Central Park
"I'm glad my friend Owen asked me to be here today."
Central Park
"Because you'll be on the front line"
Central Park
"as we head towards the extinction of life on the planet."
Central Park
"Do you have one of those big hooks, so we can hook him off the stage?"
Central Park
"Seems like one of those would be helpful in this moment."
Central Park
"No, I don't have a big hook-- Wait, do I?"
Central Park
"[sighs] I don't."
Central Park
"[Ward] Take it from me, I know."
Central Park
"Victoria! Wait. You can't publish that garbage."
Central Park
"Publish mine instead, which isn't garbage. It's gar-great!"
Central Park
"What an exciting morning this is turning into."
Central Park
"[grunts]"
Central Park
"The Brandenhams have always been a friend of Madison Lexington Publishing,"
Central Park
"but that doesn't mean you need to print any old swill that falls out of the mouth"
Central Park
"of this wrinkly bag that's almost out of blood."
Central Park
"- What have you got there? - My own memoir. It's not finished."
Central Park
"Well, don't worry too much about the publication of this manuscript."
Central Park
"And it can only loosely be called that."
Central Park
"It's definitely not a book."
Central Park
"One page is just the word "mango" written over and over again."
Central Park
"Then there's an exhaustive list of all the pants he owns."
Central Park
""Brown ones, black ones, pajama bottoms, a swimsuit I sometimes wear as shorts.""
Central Park
"It's almost as if someone started writing this two days ago."
Central Park
"- What? - Ha! You wilted balloon."
Central Park
"- I knew it. Didn't I tell you I knew it? - You never said anything like that at all."
Central Park
"- And, let's see, yours is... - Mmm?"
Central Park
"...also not a book. So, two not-books."
Central Park
"This is a good meeting. You know,"
Central Park
"the books that fly off the shelves these days are the tell-alls from the help."
Central Park
"The maid's diary and all that."
Central Park
"- The help? [groans] - Gross!"
Central Park
"Keep it in your pants over there."
Central Park
"[sighs] Victoria, fine. Don't publish my book."
Central Park
"Just tell me this,"
Central Park
"would you say my memoir is definitively better than my brother's?"
Central Park
"Well, it seemed like it contained a higher percentage of actual sentences."
Central Park
"- So... better? - Sure, let's say that."
Central Park
"- Ha! I win. I win! - [groans]"
Central Park
"Eat it, Ambrose. Put it in your blender and then warm it up and then eat it."
Central Park
"- Brendan? It's, uh, Molly. - [Brendan] Yeah?"
Central Park
"I wanna say I believe in you. Does that help?"
Central Park
"- [Brendan] I think I'm not coming out. - [sighs] I support that."
Central Park
"Molly, how dare you?"
Central Park
"I'm sorry, Cole. Brendan, listen. This is kind of my fault."
Central Park
"I just really wanted to be supportive. Maybe too much?"
Central Park
"I definitely didn't want you to not want to leave the bathroom."
Central Park
"And I forgot to tell you something."
Central Park
"Earlier, before we changed all your choreography"
Central Park
"and made you wear a very cool but potentially unnecessary costume."
Central Park
"I forgot to say, "Hey, I can't wait to see"
Central Park
"what you do for your indoor kite flying competition."
Central Park
"It's gonna be great, 'cause you're great.""
Central Park
"- I think I skipped that part. - [man] Next up, Brendan Brandenham."
Central Park
"They're calling your name."
Central Park
"I'm just gonna do my old choreography, if that's okay. It just feels more me."
Central Park
"No offense, Cole. I know you put a lot of thought into it."
Central Park
"Sure, I get it. These people aren't ready for the Cole-eography."
Central Park
"But I think I decided to wear the costume. I like it."
Central Park
"I-- I don't understand it, but it's festive."
Central Park
"- It is, isn't it? - [kisses]"
Central Park
"- How's it going? - Not great."
Central Park
"Find a place in your house"
Central Park
"where you can stockpile canned goods and jerky and medical supplies."
Central Park
"That'll give you an edge when we have mass crop failures."
Central Park
"Which, honestly, will be happening sooner rather than later."
Central Park
"- Is that not what you wanted? - I can't believe it."
Central Park
"The man that inspired me to be me is no longer him."
Central Park
"So, what are you gonna do? You're still you, I think."
Central Park
"- Elwood, I need you. And that. - My pants?"
Central Park
"- The guitar. Follow me. - You doing a-- a music thing?"
Central Park
"You need violin? It seems like you need violin."
Central Park
"- Yes. I need all of it. - [gasps, squeals] It's finally happening."
Central Park
"♪ The trees will get cut down anyway ♪"
Central Park
"♪ So why bother? Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ The birds will eventually all fly away ♪"
Central Park
"♪ So why bother? Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ I found it doesn't really matter What you do ♪"
Central Park
"♪ One day your funding Turns into a pile of poo ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Looks like it's every man for himself After all ♪"
Central Park
"Uh, that's what it would look like if we lost hope,"
Central Park
"but, fortunately, there's lots to be hopeful about."
Central Park
"♪ Flowers spread beauty everywhere ♪"
Central Park
"♪ But why bother? Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Trees give us shade And help clean the air ♪"
Central Park
"♪ But why bother? Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ The earth may go on No matter what we do ♪"
Central Park
"♪ But we don't wanna leave it All covered in goo ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Take a nature vacation Without any cost ♪"
Central Park
"♪ And there are so many places To hide from your boss ♪"
Central Park
"- Wait, what? - ♪ Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Because the grass Feels great on your toes ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ And you can use the leaves If you forget your clothes ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ 'Cause we need the breeze and the bees And the geese ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Need may be a strong word Regarding the geese ♪"
Central Park
"[scoffs] Even without a memoir, I'm still way better than my brother."
Central Park
"♪ So why bother?"
Central Park
"♪ Is it really so important To impress my father ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Or my mother? Why bother? ♪"
Central Park
"- [Helen] Hmm? - Was I speaking out loud or to myself?"
Central Park
"- Which would you prefer? - To myself."
Central Park
"Then that's what it was."
Central Park
"[chorus vocalizes]"
Central Park
"[Owen] ♪ We need to pollinate, not contaminate ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Let me set it straight and illustrate That we could all suffocate ♪"
Central Park
"♪ I hate to pontificate or castigate ♪"
Central Park
"♪ But the fate of our state Isn't great if we wait ♪"
Central Park
"♪ And the weight'll be great If we all hesitate ♪"
Central Park
"♪ If you're on my side, just say yeah ♪"
Central Park
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