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Clips from Derry Girls - The Affair (S03E03)

"Shauna Sharkey's niece works for the company, you see. Right."
Derry Girls
"Every voucher entitles you to a free item of make-up,"
Derry Girls
"a lip liner, a mascara... Shite!"
Derry Girls
"..an eyebrow pencil or what have you."
Derry Girls
"I nearly took her hand off, Mary. This is all I need. Gerry!"
Derry Girls
"But there's a catch. I thought there might be."
Derry Girls
"The retailer will accept one voucher per customer only."
Derry Girls
"Now, what that means, Mary..."
Derry Girls
"I know what it means, Sarah. Gerry!"
Derry Girls
"It means I can't hand over 22 vouchers and say,"
Derry Girls
""Give us 22 items.""
Derry Girls
"No? Gerry!"
Derry Girls
"But if we were to head up to town with a bag of disguises."
Derry Girls
"Bag of disguises? Couple of quick changes"
Derry Girls
"in the Richmond Centre toilets. No chance! Gerry!"
Derry Girls
"Gerry! But the offer ends today, Mary."
Derry Girls
"Gerry! Gerry!"
Derry Girls
"Gerry! Gerry! Gerry! Gerry! Gerry!"
Derry Girls
"Was someone calling? Hot water's gone again."
Derry Girls
"That bloody boiler! We'll have to ring the plumber."
Derry Girls
"Mother, have you seen my fountain pen?"
Derry Girls
"We're talking about free make-up here, Mary. The plumber?"
Derry Girls
"The number's in my wee address book, Da."
Derry Girls
"I'm sick saying we need a new boiler."
Derry Girls
"Mammy, my fountain pen... We can't afford a new boiler."
Derry Girls
"Tight hole! No, no, no, no, no!"
Derry Girls
"And let's face it, you could be doing with a bit of bronzer, Mary."
Derry Girls
"I had it down here last night, remember? I was working on my novel."
Derry Girls
"It's on the phone table there. My fountain pen?"
Derry Girls
"My address book! I'm not looking for your address book!"
Derry Girls
"You'd give Casper a run for his money, no offence. Jesus Christ!"
Derry Girls
"I don't like strawberry Pop Tarts. I like chocolate Pop Tarts."
Derry Girls
"Mammy? Pen? Right, here you go. Here's a pen."
Derry Girls
"That's a Biro. I mean, I've seen corpses that are a better colour."
Derry Girls
"I can't write with a Biro!"
Derry Girls
"Which means I end up eating them out of pity."
Derry Girls
"You might as well ask Van Gogh to paint with a trowel."
Derry Girls
"Oh, shut up, shut up, shut up!"
Derry Girls
"Will you all just please shut up? I am sick of it!"
Derry Girls
"I am sick of the boiler and the vouchers"
Derry Girls
"and the fountain pens and the bastardin' Pop Tarts."
Derry Girls
"I am sick of the fact that I am responsible"
Derry Girls
"for everything in this house, you useless, useless shites!"
Derry Girls
"Enough is enough. You can all sort yourselves out for once!"
Derry Girls
"Now..."
Derry Girls
"I'm going to go upstairs and have a long, hot soak in the bath."
Derry Girls
"And I do not want disturbed - is that understood?"
Derry Girls
"There's no hot water."
Derry Girls
"Christ almighty!"
Derry Girls
"All right? Where's James?"
Derry Girls
"Ach, Jesus Christ!"
Derry Girls
"If I've left him on the bus again my ma's gonna go nuts."
Derry Girls
"Hi, guys! Bye guys!"
Derry Girls
"They're doing this 24-hour danceathon thing."
Derry Girls
"They haven't slept. What? Why are they so bouncy?"
Derry Girls
"They're off their tits on lemon sherbet."
Derry Girls
"Seriously, between them and Marcel Marceau over here, I... Ugh!"
Derry Girls
"How's it going?"
Derry Girls
"You're really not gonna talk for 24 hours?"
Derry Girls
"Yeah, that's tough. You're better off not breathing."
Derry Girls
"Would she be, Orla? Or...would she be dead?"
Derry Girls
"It's not doing me any harm."
Derry Girls
"What? I'm not breathing for Children in Need."
Derry Girls
"That's happening now, is it, you're currently not breathing?"
Derry Girls
"Correct."
Derry Girls
"Grand. Well, I am planning on visiting the hospital."
Derry Girls
"I'm going to read the sick kids some of my work."
Derry Girls
"No, Erin. Them wains have suffered enough."
Derry Girls
"Well, what's your great philanthropic plans?"
Derry Girls
"In English, please?"
Derry Girls
"What are you doing for Children in Need?"
Derry Girls
"I might cut my hair."
Derry Girls
"Charlene Kavanagh made a shit ton when she done it last year,"
Derry Girls
"and I'm trying to save for a holiday, so..."
Derry Girls
"You can't keep the money, Michelle. You've to give it to the charity."
Derry Girls
"What? Do you not just give them the hair? Ah, fer..."
Derry Girls
"Hey, I passed! I passed!"
Derry Girls
"What are you on about?"
Derry Girls
"My driving test. I...I passed."
Derry Girls
"You were doing your driving test?"
Derry Girls
"It's literally all I've talked about for weeks. Jesus Christ, James!"
Derry Girls
"There's only so many ways I can say this...."
Derry Girls
"We. Don't. Listen. To. You."
Derry Girls
"You've seen my instructor pick me up at the school gates a dozen times!"
Derry Girls
"What did you think was going on?"
Derry Girls
"I just thought he was some sort of creep."
Derry Girls
"Yet you didn't try to intervene?"
Derry Girls
"You seemed happy enough. I see..."
Derry Girls
"MUSIC: Intro to Feeling Hot Hot Hot by The Merrymen"
Derry Girls
"# Ole, ole, ole, ole"
Derry Girls
"# Ole, ole, ole, ole..."
Derry Girls
"Oh, God, please no!"
Derry Girls
"# Feeling hot hot hot"
Derry Girls
"# Feeling hot hot hot #."
Derry Girls
"No, no, no, no."
Derry Girls
"MUSIC STOPS"
Derry Girls
"Thank you, girls."
Derry Girls
"We won't forget that performance in a hurry..."
Derry Girls
"..no matter how hard we try."
Derry Girls
"Now, amidst the merriment, it's easy to forget"
Derry Girls
"there is a serious and rather depressing side to Children in Need,"
Derry Girls
"mainly the fact that Father Peter has decided to come"
Derry Girls
"and talk to us about it."
Derry Girls
"Father?"
Derry Girls
"Holy Christ. That pony tail is gonna bring my breakfast up."
Derry Girls
"SHE WRETCHES"
Derry Girls
"Great stuff. Thank you, Sister."
Derry Girls
"Firstly, well done on the almighty effort so far."
Derry Girls
"We'll be announcing the grand total raised"
Derry Girls
"at our Stars in their Eyes evening on Friday."
Derry Girls
"And tonight, Matthew, I'm gonna be...nowhere near that shit."
Derry Girls
"Fantastic way to round off this week of complete madness."
Derry Girls
"I don't know whose idea it was, but it was genius."
Derry Girls
"It was your idea. Ah, now."
Derry Girls
"You said, "Can we have a Stars in their Eyes night?""
Derry Girls
"Is that right? Well, sure, there you are."
Derry Girls
"And I said absolutely not. I see. Well, sure all's well..."
Derry Girls
"And then you started begging. ..that ends well, as they say."
Derry Girls
"At one point it looked like you were going to cry."
Derry Girls
"I think you've maybe slightly misremembered there."
Derry Girls
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