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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - Happy Mom, Happy Life (S02E02)

"Adult adam: Ah, the toy crazes of the '80s."
The Goldbergs (2013)
"G.I. Joe, laser tag, rubik's cube,"
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"Transformers, care bears."
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"But the mother of them all were the cabbage patch kids..."
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"Chubby-cheeked balls of cuteness"
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"You could adopt as your very own."
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"And I got mine in a most unusual way."
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"In my hand,"
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"I hold your final exam for health class..."
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"The reality of parenting."
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"Wow. How many of these do you own?"
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"You know, I'm not married,"
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"And I'm severely allergic to cat and dog dander,"
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"So I guess you could say these are like my children."
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"Ha! That's a joke. I'm fine."
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"Okay."
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"So, for this assignment, you are going to pair up"
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"And you're going to tend to the child"
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"As if it's a real baby."
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"And every 30 minutes, you're gonna spin the wheel"
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"And do the assigned chore."
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"Feeding, burping, diapering."
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"You get it... The things that married couples do."
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"Or... So I've seen from my three married younger sisters."
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"Okay, partner up."
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"Dana isabelle caldwell,"
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"Will you be the mother of my cabbage?"
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"I don't know. I don't want this to make things weird between us."
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"Trust me... A baby only makes things better."
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"It's like the old saying..."
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""if your relationship sucks, a baby will fix it.""
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"Adult adam: Okay, so, maybe I was way off about that,"
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"But I did know that this project"
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"Was the perfect way for me to get closer to dana."
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"(laughs)"
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"Welcome to our tree home, my dear."
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"I've already put down the baby"
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"And whipped us up some supper."
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"Aww. Smurf ravioli... My favorite."
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"Well, only the best for my girl dana"
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"And our little angel, ripley."
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"Ripley? It's a classic girl's name."
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"Also happens to be"
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"Sigourney weaver's badass character in "aliens.""
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"How about one that'll make us both happy?"
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"Leia."
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"Leia delorean goldberg!"
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"I love it!"
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"Snuggle boo-boo! Dinner's ready!"
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"What is all this?"
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"Health class. We got to care for a pretend baby."
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"Oh, I'm finally a grandma, huh?"
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"(laughs)"
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"Well, move over. Isn't this fun?"
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"Come on. Let me hold her."
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"Actually, um, we're not supposed to get any"
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"Outside help with leia."
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""leia"? Oh, no, no, no, no, no."
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"That's so boring and plain."
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"What about "myrna," after your great-grandma?"
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"Um, maybe."
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"Yeah, I mean,"
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"It was a name in progress..."
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"Was it?"
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"Everyone agrees. Myrna it is."
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"Okay, I get how this works."
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"We spin the thing and do the thingy. (gasps)"
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"(sing song) ¶ baby's got poo-poos ¶"
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"Let me change her. Actually, we're good. Thanks."
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"Oh."
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"Oh."
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"Oh."
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"Well, uh, I'm gonna go check in on your father."
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"I'm sure he still needs me."
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"Adult adam: As usual, my smother had jammed herself into my life"
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"And made it real awkward real quick."
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"I had to do some epic damage control... And fast."
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"How about a toast to the world's greatest mom?"
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"Somebody call me?"
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"No?"
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"Okay. (chuckles)"
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"¶ I'm twisted up inside"
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"¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say"
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"¶ I don't know the future"
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"¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶"
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"Adult adam: It was March 10th, 1980-something,"
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"And barry was chiling with his best and only friends,"
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"The jenkin town posse... Also known as the jtp."
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"All right, batter up."
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"I got, uh, an egg, a grapefruit, and a light bulb."
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"Grapefruit! Let's go, baby! Come on! Game on."
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"All: (chanting) smash ball! Smash ball!"
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"Smash ball!"
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"(all screaming)"
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"Dude, the citrus is burning my eyes!"
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"I can't see! That's awesome!"
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"Barry goldberg,"
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"King of smash ball and king of the jtp!"
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"All: Jtp!"
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"(all cheering)"
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"This was fun. See ya."
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"Wai... What? What?"
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"You just got here, man."
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"You said tonight was gonna be legendary."
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"Sorry, guys. I made plans with my special lady."
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"What happened to you, bro?"
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"Since that girl came into your life,"
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"It's like we don't even exist, man."
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"Yeah, dude. It's time you made a choice."
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"It's either us"
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"Or the super-hot, popular girl that you make out with."
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"Her. 100% her."
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"(sighs)"
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"Lainey? You're here?"
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"I've been calling your house for the last two hours!"
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"We have to get ready for anthony balsamo's party."
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"God, I'm so sorry, erica."
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"I totally forgot."
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"Me 'n' bar decided we were gonna stay in"
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"And have a romantic evening together."
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