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Clips from HouseBroken (2021) - Who's Afraid of Boomsday? (S01E01)

"‐ Summer, 49 years ago,"
HouseBroken (2021)
"Chief and I were just puppies, playing in the backyard,"
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"enjoying what we thought"
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"was an innocent kerosene and meat party."
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"And then came The Booms."
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"It was terrifying. ‐ [whimpers]"
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"‐ Hair dryer during a thunderstorm terrifying."
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"And suddenly, Chief was gone."
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"‐ Chief!"
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"I was worried we'd never find him."
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"The trail of diarrhea only took us so far."
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"‐ [whimpering]"
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"‐ We thought we found him"
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"at the toxic waste management facility."
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"‐ [shouting] [both gasping]"
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"‐ But it wasn't Chief."
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"Just a misunderstood monster."
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"‐ We finally found Chief two days later"
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"in an abandoned Blockbuster"
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"slurping up videotape like spaghetti."
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"And that's why I live in dread of Boomsday."
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"‐ Why do they call it Boomsday if the booms come at night?"
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"‐ Nobody knows,"
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"and it's very confusing."
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"‐ We don't know the exact date,"
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"so we have to be alert."
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"Do we all know the Boomsday warning signs?"
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"‐ Little handheld flags."
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"‐ Paper plates that have hotdogs on them."
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"‐ Kevin wears his fun shorts."
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"‐ Radio stations breaking format"
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"to play marching band music."
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"‐ And of course Donnie Cheadle's pool party."
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"Look, Honey, I get why you're worried about Chief."
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"He's a moron."
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"But I think we can handle Boomsday."
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"[loud thump]"
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"‐ Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no."
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"‐ We're all gonna die! The booms are coming!"
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"‐ Wait, Diablo, you're not afraid?"
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"‐ I'm surprisingly chill, right?"
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"My Mom and my Dad and my Randy"
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"are trying out all these new sedatives on me."
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"The side‐effects have been brutal."
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"[sneezes]"
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"[crows like rooster]"
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"But they finally found the perfect drug!"
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"I feel great and no side effects!"
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"‐ Ah! Knick knack paddy whack!"
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"‐ Give a fish a bone."
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"[upbeat rock music]"
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"‐ ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪"
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"♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪"
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"♪ ♪"
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"♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪"
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"♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪"
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"♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪"
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"‐ ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ ‐ ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪"
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"‐ ♪ Ruff, ruff ♪ ‐ ♪ Meow, meow ♪"
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"‐ ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ ‐ ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪"
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"‐ ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ ‐ ♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪"
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"‐ ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ ‐ ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪"
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"[music crescendos]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"‐ You guys are nuts!"
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"This is the best time of year."
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"My favorite beach restaurant just reopened,"
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"and their dumpster overfloweth"
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"with half‐eaten crab cakes."
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"‐ I'm gonna jump in here"
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"before my trauma swallows me whole."
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"Last weekend, I accompanied my human on a flight."
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"And there was another service dog on the plane,"
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"so I tried to talk shop."
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"Cool vest."
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"You know, I didn't see that one on the website"
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"where my human clicked for mine."
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"‐ That's because you're wearing stolen valor!"
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"‐ He yelled at me that real service dogs"
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"have to go through hours and hours of training,"
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"and it's not just that they're super special good girls"
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"with a perfect baby face."
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"‐ Please don't handle it well. Please don't handle it well."
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"‐ I did not handle it well. ‐ Yes!"
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"We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!"
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"If I'm not a service dog,"
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"then who am I, and what's my purpose?"
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"‐ Elsa, as your therapist,"
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"that's really not for me to say."
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"‐ What about as my friend?"
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"‐ If I were your friend, I'd say‐‐"
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"‐ If you were my friend? ‐ Oh‐‐no, what I‐‐"
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"okay, what I meant was that when we're in group,"
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"I can't be your friend‐‐"
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"‐ But outside of group?"
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"‐ This is gonna take a while."
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"Tchotch, you want that rematch? Let's go!"
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"‐ Kill each other! ‐ Yeah!"
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"‐ Yeah, um, Elsa, can I get back to you on that?"
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"I just need to see if Tchotchke makes a comeback."
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"Push her back, Tchotch! She's got no reach!"
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"‐ So, Tabs, can I interest you"
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"in a motion‐sensor‐activated"
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"floodlight‐lit seafood dinner?"
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"‐ Why?"
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"‐ I just thought you might be hungry"
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"since you're on your own now."
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"‐ No, I am not on my own."
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"[cats meowing]"
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"‐ Uh‐oh, looks like you're the new Magnolia."
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"‐ I do not know what this means."
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"‐ You will."
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"‐ Can I call you Magnolia?"
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"Can I call her Magnolia?"
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"‐ Whatever, it's a cat."
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"‐ I am back home with Brett and Stelios,"
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"and we are dining on grass‐raised tilapia."
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"So I don't need your help, or anyone's help,"
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"and I never will. I am a survivor."
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"Thank you very much."
HouseBroken (2021)
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