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Clips from The Goldbergs - So Swayze It's Crazy (S04E04)

"Gibson guitars and the occasional side pony,"
The Goldbergs
"- which is a hairstyle. - Wow. Great."
The Goldbergs
"You learned a few things about me,"
The Goldbergs
"and now you're, like, Dad of the Year."
The Goldbergs
"Ho, ho. Card number 43..."
The Goldbergs
"You cover insecurity with sarcasm. Classic Erica."
The Goldbergs
"- Stop doing what you're doing. - I get it. You're mad."
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"I told Dave Kim that you loved him,"
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"when it's really Geoff Schwartz who you love."
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"Dad, stop!"
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"What, you think I'm gonna tell Geoff Schwartz"
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"that you... Love him."
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"That's Geoff Schwartz."
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"I know that because of card 27."
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"I didn't hear all of that."
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"I'm just gonna run away for an unrelated reason."
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"Why?"
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"Ugh. This hair dye itches me like crazy, dude."
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"Don't touch anything else. Go wash your hands, quick,"
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"- before it gets in your eyes. - Ow! I touched my eyes!"
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"- He's touching his eyes. - Why are you doing that?"
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"'Cause you told me not to, and I'm anti-establishment now."
The Goldbergs
"Damn my punk lifestyle! Ugh!"
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"There she is, just in time for our 3:00 meeting."
The Goldbergs
"At the deli counter? Seems kind of weird."
The Goldbergs
"Just zip it and take the meeting."
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"Hi, Edie. It's me, Bev, and my gorgeous leading-man boy."
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"- Man? Boy? I'll let you decide. - Hello, Adam."
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"What a coincidence, running into you here."
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"Also a coincidence,"
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"I just happen to have Adam's handsome new headshots."
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"Doesn't my son look like a movie star,"
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"- Tony the deli guy? - Oh, yeah."
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"He looks like that twerpy guy, Rick Moranis."
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"With those glasses and that doofy, deer-caught-in-the-headlights look."
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"Okay, that's enough. Just slice the meat."
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"No, he's right. These photos are fricking incredible."
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"I mean, look at that punim."
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"It's like getting a lotto ticket"
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"and scratching off three Urkels and a Potsie."
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"- Potsie's a personal hero of mine. - You see? I knew it."
The Goldbergs
"He would've been perfect for Meatballs 2."
The Goldbergs
"Which reminds me, let me have meatballs, too, and all your tuna."
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"You understand me? I don't want that lady to have any."
The Goldbergs
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait."
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""Would've been"? You mean I missed out on"
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"- auditioning for a Meatballs sequel? - Okay, let me be clear."
The Goldbergs
"You are a Cruise or a Swayze, not a geek or a goober."
The Goldbergs
"I don't care how much those kinds of roles pay."
The Goldbergs
"A lot. You know Booger from Revenge of the Nerds?"
The Goldbergs
"Well, Booger has two Jet Skis,"
The Goldbergs
"- one you sit, one you stand. - Wait."
The Goldbergs
"You're the one who wanted those hunked-out photos"
The Goldbergs
"to prove to her that I wasn't a nerd."
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"Adam, look at me. Look at your mama."
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"You are not a nerd."
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"No, you look at me, right in my lazy eye."
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"I am a nerd."
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"- Never. - Say it."
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"Over my dead body."
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"You know, sometimes you get so caught up"
The Goldbergs
"in what it is you want for me, that you forget what I want."
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"Thanks for killing my dream."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: It had been a day since Barry nearly lost an eye to punk rock,"
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"but he'd stop at nothing to impress Lainey."
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"Before you say anything, my spikes are supposed to be blue"
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"and the hair dye messed up my vision for about a week."
The Goldbergs
"Barring that,"
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"- I'm looking pretty punk rock, right? - Zero."
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"- Nope. - It's kind of hard to look at, bro."
The Goldbergs
"Stop. Don't discourage the man."
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"It's just a little more pumpkin-y than punk."
The Goldbergs
"But wear this until it grows out."
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"Aside from the hair, what about the rest?"
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"Do I look like Johnny Rotten or Sid Vicious?"
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"- You look like a pirate, dude. - Your girl won't say it, but we will."
The Goldbergs
"No, I'll say it."
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"I went too far and now you're a pirate."
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"And you think that's hot?"
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"I gotta go find a way to fix this."
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"But I did this for you, damn it."
The Goldbergs
"(GROANING)"
The Goldbergs
"Oh, he just said "argh." That's a thing a pirate says."
The Goldbergs
"And he's hopping on one foot like he's got a peg leg."
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"- (LAUGHTER) - This is all your fault, Matt Bradley."
The Goldbergs
"Wait, what are you wearing?"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, watching you try too hard to be punk"
The Goldbergs
"made me realize I need to mellow out."
The Goldbergs
"That's why I'm a Deadhead now."
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"The Grateful Dead is the opposite of punk."
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"For sure."
The Goldbergs
"If you ask me, you guys need a chill member of the JTP."
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"- ALL: JTP. - See?"
The Goldbergs
"Okay, guys, can we pivot to my thing, here?"
The Goldbergs
"I'm kind of going through some stuff."
The Goldbergs
"Good idea. Let's divert the attention from me."
The Goldbergs
"It's just, I've liked Erica forever,"
The Goldbergs
"but I'm with Evy now, and I love her."
The Goldbergs
"Then, that's your answer right there, man."
The Goldbergs
"At the end of the day, all that matters is that you're honest"
The Goldbergs
"and listen to your heart."
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"Wow."
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"That's so deep and Jerry Garcia of you."
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"I'm a pirate."
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"ADULT ADAM: As Barry failed at punk,"
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"my mom was trying to win back her little star."
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"Schmoopy. Schmoopaloo. Schmoopy-booper."
The Goldbergs
"Schmoop de jour."
The Goldbergs
"Schmoopy doopy poopy soupy, have a scoopy."
The Goldbergs
"Stop saying variations of "schmoo" and go away."
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"Listen, I know I shouldn't have lied to you."
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"And if the only way you're gonna forgive me"
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"is to say that thing you want me to say,"
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"then I will say it."
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"You are a... Nope. Nope."
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"- I'm sorry. I can't say it. - Well, at some point, you'll have to."
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"No."
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"You will always be my amazing, handsome leading man."
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"But if everyone else sees you as a nerd,"
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"then you go out"
The Goldbergs
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