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Clips from The Goldbergs - So Swayze It's Crazy (S04E04)

"She said you have the looks, charisma,"
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"- and scrumptiousness. - Seriously?"
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"I'm directly quoting her on that."
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"I always thought of myself as the nudgy comic relief,"
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"like a Balki or a Skippy or a Boner,"
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"but if an objective third party"
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"is saying I'm a leading man, it must be true."
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"Now all we need are some hunky headshots"
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"to prove you're not a total goob."
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"Not that Edie thinks that. Nobody does."
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"Sweet. I'll go get my Vader cape."
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"No, wait, not cool enough. Voltron helmet."
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"Now that's hunky."
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"Anarchy, U.K., Big Ben, soccer!"
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"Whoa, what's with the giant hoop?"
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"I stole it from Mom's jewelry box. Petty theft is part of the movement."
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"Baby, I'm totally digging what I'm seeing."
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"But it's not, like, punk enough yet."
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"- Dude. - I know. I got problems."
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"Oh, damn it. What else do I need to do?"
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"Um, your clothes need to be all ripped and shredded and hot."
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"Right, right. Look more like an (BLEEP)."
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"Good note."
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"He's just lashing out. It's a natural part of the process."
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"Erica Goldberg, this is for you."
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"Will you be the Kelly McGillis to my Maverick?"
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"- Oh, he's Top Gun-ing you. - Oh, God, do not Top Gun me right now."
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"(SINGING) You never close your eyes anymore"
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"When I kiss your lips"
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"Yep, and by Air Force law,"
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"- now you have to date him. - It's not a law."
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"You're trying hard not to show it"
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"He's being emotionally vulnerable, that's hilarious."
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"But, baby, I know it"
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"Everyone."
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"(ALL BOOING)"
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"Ew! Erica's dating a freshman."
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"Erica, you like that guy?"
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"- Nope. He's very confused. - Not confused."
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"Her dad specifically told me"
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"she was secretly in love with me, but could never admit it."
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"Okay, my dad did not do that."
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"Her dad literally came into the basement,"
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"looked me in the eye, and told me that directly."
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"You've lost that lovin' feeling"
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"- Now it's gone, gone, gone - (ALL BOOING)"
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"And now I'm gone, because I have a dad to strangle."
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"(CROWD BOOING)"
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"I love a good train wreck. Sing it, dude."
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"ADULT ADAM: Lainey had told Barry to up his punk game"
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"and he was a man on a mission."
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"Pops, check out this polo I just shredded."
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"Lainey said she wanted punk. I'll give her punk."
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"Oi! Oi! Oi!"
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"Oy vey."
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"Where is he?"
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"Where is the man who helped give me life,"
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"only to ruin it with his stupidity?"
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"- Hey. There's my peanut. - I am not your peanut."
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"Because of you, I got serenaded in front of the whole school."
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"- You don't have to thank me. - It was the wrong boy."
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"I like Geoff, but Dave Kim sang to me."
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"- Oh, no. - Yes."
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"What have you done, Murray?"
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"Honestly, I don't know. This is all so confusing."
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"This is Dave Kim, a tiny freshman creeper"
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"who dresses like Velma from Scooby Doo."
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"And this loveable, sweet dope is Geoff Schwartz."
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"So I picked the wrong boy. It's the effort that counts."
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"I liked it better when you knew nothing about me."
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"I can't wait to go to college"
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"so I can ignore you for the next four years and the rest of my life."
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"You know, I..."
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"I'm not usually known for feeling things,"
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"but that made me feel... (WHISPERING) Sad."
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"- What was that? - (WHISPERING) Sad. Sad."
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"- Speak up. - It made me sad, damn it,"
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"like maybe I should participate in her life or something."
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"Maybe? Of course you should."
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"Fine! Will you... (WHISPERING) Teach me?"
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"Say the words out loud, Murray."
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"Teach me!"
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"Tell me everything there is to know about her."
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"I'll make you some note cards."
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"Thanks, Al. You're a good person."
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"- I know. - Oh. That you heard."
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"ADULT ADAM: While my dad learned the basics of Erica,"
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"I was ready to advance to a world of kid stardom."
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"You must be Paul Sirochman."
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"Rumor has it you're the headshot king of Philadelphia."
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"That's a negative. We'll see what develops."
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"- Photo jokes... That's me. - Neat."
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"Here's the thing. Um, I need you to make my son"
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"look like a chiseled, rugged man-star."
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"Can you do that?"
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"Wow. Huh. A challenge."
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"All right, chin down, eyes up. Nice."
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"And, uh... Maybe lose that sword."
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"You wanted rugged, right?"
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"It doesn't get more rugged than the Highlander."
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"There can be only one."
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"ADULT ADAM: Yep, I was ready to be a leading man."
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"It's the communicator from Quantum Leap."
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"Hello? I'm cool like Bakula. He's the whole package."
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"ADULT ADAM: So, I took inspiration from every leading man I worshipped."
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"Should I turn on the finger, or will that screw up the lighting?"
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"Just do what you want, kid."
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"ADULT ADAM: And the results were epic."
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"All right, I know what you're thinking..."
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"That you're the best damn photographer in the universe?"
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"I thought you said you wanted Swayze?"
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"- Oh, Adam's no Swayze. - (SIGHS)"
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"He's Tom Cruise."
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"My baby is Tom Cruise."
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"There she is. The girl I know everything about."
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"Whoa, what are those?"
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"Pops gave me a master class all about you."
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"Now I know everything there is to know"
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"about Erica Dorothy Goldberg,"
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"age 17, who likes Christian Slater,"
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