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Clips from United States of Al (2021) - Shorts/Neykar (S01E01)

"Yeah. Let's talk about that."
United States of Al (2021)
"Riley, Riley, Riley."
United States of Al (2021)
"I passed. 100%."
United States of Al (2021)
"That's great, buddy."
United States of Al (2021)
"Eh, technically,"
United States of Al (2021)
"they said I got one wrong,"
United States of Al (2021)
"but I said theygot one wrong."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, could you give me a minute here, Al?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Sure."
United States of Al (2021)
"He is married, by the way."
United States of Al (2021)
"We're separated."
United States of Al (2021)
"English is not his first language."
United States of Al (2021)
"Are you Awa..."
United States of Al (2021)
"Awal..."
United States of Al (2021)
"This name?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes. That is me."
United States of Al (2021)
"Thank you. I'm Paula. I'll be your examiner today."
United States of Al (2021)
"Ah.Are you ready?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Absolutely, Paula."
United States of Al (2021)
"Is everything okay?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes. Of course."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do you have your permit?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes, of course."
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, can I have it?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, yes. Sorry."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh."
United States of Al (2021)
"Ah. I was looking for this."
United States of Al (2021)
"Mm."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay. Why don't you put it in drive and slowly pull out."
United States of Al (2021)
": Take off the parking brake."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hello?"
United States of Al (2021)
": Mr. Awa-wa?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Are we doing this?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, yes. Uh, I-I am so sorry."
United States of Al (2021)
"Did you know that fatigue"
United States of Al (2021)
"contributes to 20% of nighttime crashes?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I did."
United States of Al (2021)
"Me too."
United States of Al (2021)
"Come on, man. Just tell me what happened."
United States of Al (2021)
"It is not important. I-I will pay for the damage."
United States of Al (2021)
"Or I will fix it myself. I have a hammer in my pocket."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm not worried about my truck."
United States of Al (2021)
"I want to know what happened back there."
United States of Al (2021)
"Nothing. I-I do not know."
United States of Al (2021)
"Maybe I'm just a bad driver."
United States of Al (2021)
"What are you talking about? Dude, I've seen you drive"
United States of Al (2021)
"through a mortar attack. And even under fire,"
United States of Al (2021)
"you used your turn signals."
United States of Al (2021)
"She was wearing shorts."
United States of Al (2021)
"Who?The woman. The test woman."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay. So?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I-I could not focus. I could not concentrate."
United States of Al (2021)
"I-I did not know what to do."
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, what do you normally do when you see a woman's legs?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I have never seen a woman's legs."
United States of Al (2021)
"Never? No.No. Yes."
United States of Al (2021)
"No.Yes."
United States of Al (2021)
"What about your sister?"
United States of Al (2021)
"How dare you."
United States of Al (2021)
"You've seen legs in, like, movies and stuff."
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes, but these were real."
United States of Al (2021)
"The woman was so close, I could touch her."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, please tell me you didn't touch her."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey. Don't feel bad, Al."
United States of Al (2021)
"It took me, like, five times to pass my driving test."
United States of Al (2021)
"Once, I was high."
United States of Al (2021)
"Once, I flunked on purpose to piss off my dad."
United States of Al (2021)
"And the rest were for just being a lousy driver."
United States of Al (2021)
"The system works."
United States of Al (2021)
"Can we not talk about this right now?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Mm. Mm."
United States of Al (2021)
"So, what happened?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I think the instructor did not like me."
United States of Al (2021)
"That's impossible."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm gonna call the BMV"
United States of Al (2021)
"and give 'em a piece of my mind."
United States of Al (2021)
"Please do not do that, Mr. Art.Why not?"
United States of Al (2021)
"The woman that gave you the test clearly had an ax to grind."
United States of Al (2021)
"She had no ax."
United States of Al (2021)
"She was wearing shorts."
United States of Al (2021)
"Say again?"
United States of Al (2021)
"She was wearing shorts."
United States of Al (2021)
"So?So I almost had a heart attack."
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, didn't you once charge a bunch of Taliban"
United States of Al (2021)
"while your whole squad was retreating?"
United States of Al (2021)
"The Taliban were wearing pants."
United States of Al (2021)
"And Marines don't retreat."
United States of Al (2021)
"We advance in a different direction."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, I'm trying really hardto understand here.Mm."
United States of Al (2021)
"You failed your test because the woman had legs?"
United States of Al (2021)
"And I could see them.But you're wearing shorts."
United States of Al (2021)
"But it's different.How?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Um, I do not know. It just is."
United States of Al (2021)
"Because you're a man?Yes, thank you."
United States of Al (2021)
"Because I'm a man."
United States of Al (2021)
"That's completely hypocritical."
United States of Al (2021)
"No, it is not. My legs do not inspire lust."
United States of Al (2021)
"You don't know that."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do they?"
United States of Al (2021)
"No."
United States of Al (2021)
": Yeah, no."
United States of Al (2021)
"I'm sorry, buddy."
United States of Al (2021)
"It's open."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey.Hey."
United States of Al (2021)
"What you drawing?"
United States of Al (2021)
"You don't care. You just need something."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, I need a favor."
United States of Al (2021)
"See?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Would you mind toning down the stuff you wear around the house?"
United States of Al (2021)
"What do you mean by "toning down"?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, just, like, different clothes."
United States of Al (2021)
"Or more of them."
United States of Al (2021)
"Yeah, actually, I would."
United States of Al (2021)
"Come on. It's for Al."
United States of Al (2021)
"Did he put you up to this?"
United States of Al (2021)
"No, this is all on me."
United States of Al (2021)
"Ah, that's explains why it's stupid."
United States of Al (2021)
"Come on, just for a little while?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I want him to be comfortable."
United States of Al (2021)
"Don't you care if I'm comfortable?"
United States of Al (2021)
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