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Clips from United States of Al (2021) - Shorts/Neykar (S01E01)

"Daddy!There's my girl!"
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, Grampy."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hello, Vanessa."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, Al. Hey, everybody."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hazel, there's someone really special I want you to meet."
United States of Al (2021)
"You remember we talked about Uncle Al?"
United States of Al (2021)
"He was my interpreter in Afghanistan."
United States of Al (2021)
"And now he's bunking with me in the garage."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hello."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hello."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hazel, can you say " tsanga yee"?"
United States of Al (2021)
"That is how we greet people in my country."
United States of Al (2021)
"Tsanga yee."
United States of Al (2021)
"There. Now you speak more Pashto"
United States of Al (2021)
"than your father."
United States of Al (2021)
"Wow."
United States of Al (2021)
"Look at you. You are such a big girl."
United States of Al (2021)
"I can still remember the day you were born."
United States of Al (2021)
"You were this little."
United States of Al (2021)
"Mom says you saved Dad's life."
United States of Al (2021)
"That is true."
United States of Al (2021)
"Many times."
United States of Al (2021)
"He was like a drunken baby"
United States of Al (2021)
"walking around a sharp coffee table."
United States of Al (2021)
"Did you know that your Uncle Al is also your godfather?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Which some might say is even more important"
United States of Al (2021)
"than an actual father."
United States of Al (2021)
"Mm, no one says that."
United States of Al (2021)
"Don't be jealous. You're better than that."
United States of Al (2021)
"Here."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hazel, I brought you a special present."
United States of Al (2021)
"My mother made you this dress with her own hands."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hmm."
United States of Al (2021)
"It must have shrunk while I waited three years"
United States of Al (2021)
"for the U.S. government to stamp my paperwork."
United States of Al (2021)
"What do you say, Hazel?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I think I can make it work."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hazel,"
United States of Al (2021)
"as soon as I get my driver's license,"
United States of Al (2021)
"I am going to take you shopping and we are going to buy you"
United States of Al (2021)
"many dresses that are the same size as you."
United States of Al (2021)
"Can you get me a dirt bike?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Yes.No."
United States of Al (2021)
"No."
United States of Al (2021)
"But if ever you have a problem"
United States of Al (2021)
"and you cannot go to your mom or dad,"
United States of Al (2021)
"you can come to me."
United States of Al (2021)
"As your godfather,"
United States of Al (2021)
"I will protect you"
United States of Al (2021)
"and care for you"
United States of Al (2021)
"for the rest of my life."
United States of Al (2021)
"Wow, will you be my godfather, too?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, hey, hey. Get your own."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay, next question.Mm-hmm."
United States of Al (2021)
"For better visibility while driving"
United States of Al (2021)
"in rain, fog or snow,"
United States of Al (2021)
"you should keep your blank on."
United States of Al (2021)
"Pants."
United States of Al (2021)
"The answer is low beams."
United States of Al (2021)
"Not as funny."
United States of Al (2021)
"Huh?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Huh?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Short?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Pepper shaker."
United States of Al (2021)
"Huh?"
United States of Al (2021)
"What'd she say?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I am her favorite son."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey, what about me?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Hello, Riley Jaan."
United States of Al (2021)
"Salaam, Khala Jaan."
United States of Al (2021)
"What'd she say about me?"
United States of Al (2021)
"You look fatter than she remembers."
United States of Al (2021)
"Ooh, this is a good one.Mm."
United States of Al (2021)
"Which is the most significant factor in nighttime crashes?"
United States of Al (2021)
"A, small-town speed traps,"
United States of Al (2021)
"B, fatigue, C..."
United States of Al (2021)
"It is B-- fatigue."
United States of Al (2021)
"In America, fatigue contributesto 20% of nighttime crashes."
United States of Al (2021)
"That is notin the book."
United States of Al (2021)
"I looked that up in case there is extra credit."
United States of Al (2021)
"There isn't."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hmm. Then it will make an interesting fact"
United States of Al (2021)
"to fill gaps in conversation."
United States of Al (2021)
"Where aremy keys?"
United States of Al (2021)
"Seriously?"
United States of Al (2021)
"You know, Riley,"
United States of Al (2021)
"I have noticed that you drive too close to cars."
United States of Al (2021)
"No, I don't."
United States of Al (2021)
"You must always be three Mississippis away."
United States of Al (2021)
"Do you even know what Mississippi is?"
United States of Al (2021)
"A state and a river"
United States of Al (2021)
"and a rule for safe driving that you never follow."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh, please. I'm a great driver."
United States of Al (2021)
"Been doing it since I could reach the pedals."
United States of Al (2021)
"Okay."
United States of Al (2021)
"Well, did you know, in Ohio,"
United States of Al (2021)
"you are legally required to honk when you pass another car?"
United States of Al (2021)
"That's not true.That's stupid."
United States of Al (2021)
"Look on the bottom of page 30."
United States of Al (2021)
"No, this is just one of his crazy things,"
United States of Al (2021)
"like how he thinks when you step on a shard of glass,"
United States of Al (2021)
"it'll get in your heart and you'll die."
United States of Al (2021)
"That is not crazy."
United States of Al (2021)
"It is very dangerous."
United States of Al (2021)
"Son of a bitch, you are supposed to honk. He's right."
United States of Al (2021)
"Get used to it."
United States of Al (2021)
"Hey. Look at your own test."
United States of Al (2021)
"No, no, it was her."
United States of Al (2021)
"And the child is right."
United States of Al (2021)
"Screw you. I'm not a child."
United States of Al (2021)
"No talking."
United States of Al (2021)
"Thank you."
United States of Al (2021)
"You here to get your license?"
United States of Al (2021)
"I have an out-of-state one, so..."
United States of Al (2021)
"yeah.Mm."
United States of Al (2021)
"Yeah, I've been out of state myself recently."
United States of Al (2021)
"Afghanistan."
United States of Al (2021)
"Oh. Marines."
United States of Al (2021)
"Fighting for freedom."
United States of Al (2021)
"Thank you for your service."
United States of Al (2021)
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