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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - Training Day (S01E01)

"Oh, no, thank you."
Human Resources (2022)
"Okay, I'm just gonna close the loop and just say, "You're welcome.""
Human Resources (2022)
"This is horseshit. We don't need sensitivity training."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah. I'm very sensitive. I can't even watch a Hallmark commercial"
Human Resources (2022)
"without frosting my coffee table."
Human Resources (2022)
"I say, the minute this bozo from Corporate comes in,"
Human Resources (2022)
"we cut off my dick and throw it at his head."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Yeah! -That's right."
Human Resources (2022)
"You really want someone to cut off your dick, huh, chief?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, maybe. What are you gonna do about it?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Cut off my dick? Here. Here's a bread knife."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Okay, monster friends."
Human Resources (2022)
"Let's put away the knives and keep our genitals on our bodies, yeah?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Sound good?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, you must be the killjoy from Corporate."
Human Resources (2022)
"I could hear your tight butthole squeaking down the hallway."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yes, I'm from Corporate and I do have a tight butthole, but I also have a name."
Human Resources (2022)
"It's Empathy Mulholland. And, folks, I get it."
Human Resources (2022)
"You don't want me here."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, we wanna kill you and make doody on your corpse!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Tyler! But yes, as always, the fucking idiot speaks for all of us."
Human Resources (2022)
"But, hey, monsters, we have a problem. Your coworkers are upset."
Human Resources (2022)
"Our coworkers can suck Gavin's severed dick."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Yeah! -I hear you. You're Hormone Monsters."
Human Resources (2022)
"You want to fornicate wherever and whenever you want."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Yeah! -She gets it!"
Human Resources (2022)
"I can tell you're very passionate about intercourse,"
Human Resources (2022)
"and that's beautiful,"
Human Resources (2022)
"but you just can't do it in the office ever again starting right now."
Human Resources (2022)
"What?"
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm so mad, I wanna fuck in my place of business!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Let's get out of here."
Human Resources (2022)
"We can go "intercourse" at Jose's house and watch Starz."
Human Resources (2022)
"With a "Z"!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Ooh! That sounds like a really nice afternoon."
Human Resources (2022)
"But, unfortunately, if I don't sign-off on your training,"
Human Resources (2022)
"you're all gonna get fired. Yucky."
Human Resources (2022)
"-What the fuck?"
Human Resources (2022)
"I can't go back to work on the flip-flop factory floor."
Human Resources (2022)
"It's too hard to say!"
Human Resources (2022)
"And I can't move back in with my parents! They don't let me party, man!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Mona? -Fine. I'll stay."
Human Resources (2022)
"But I'm going to be incredibly unpleasant."
Human Resources (2022)
"Just like my parents"
Human Resources (2022)
"when they found me smoking that icky-sticky with all my cool friends."
Human Resources (2022)
"Whoo-hoo!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Good morning, Long Island!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Love is in the air."
Human Resources (2022)
"Can you smell it, Emmy? Can you smell the love?"
Human Resources (2022)
"That depends. Does love smell like garbage?"
Human Resources (2022)
"No, that's just Long Island, honey."
Human Resources (2022)
"Now, my first client, his love is so big, it could fill all of Lake Ronkonkoma."
Human Resources (2022)
"All the way from Lakeshore Road to Little Vincent's Pizzeria."
Human Resources (2022)
"And if you don't know Long Island, that's really far away."
Human Resources (2022)
"So, you're just at 100% all the time, huh?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Love lesson number one:"
Human Resources (2022)
"if you're not giving it 100 then what's the fucking point?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Now, walk with me. Hold my hand. Squeeze it, crush it!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-I don't wanna! -Harder, I wanna hear the bones."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Good morning, Brent. Mwah! -Mwah! Mwah!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Good morning, Walter. You're just in time."
Human Resources (2022)
"Somebody's grumpy-pants because they haven't had their bweakfast."
Human Resources (2022)
"The shrimp's almost ready!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, okay. The husband is cute and he's cooking prawns at dawn, Emmy likey."
Human Resources (2022)
"Gerald's fine."
Human Resources (2022)
"We only stay with him because we could never share custody of Mr. Tails!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Ooh, yes, hunty, yass!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Cat-egory is thick girls with attitude!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Strut, strut! -You're here because Brent loves a cat?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Of course! -Yass!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Mr. Tails is the most magnificent creature that's ever graced this disgusting city."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Who's our favorite baby kitty cat? -Ooh!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Who's keeping me in this dead marriage? You are!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh, am I missing something? I mean, that's just a stupid cat, right?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Love lesson number two!"
Human Resources (2022)
"The world is made up of many types of love"
Human Resources (2022)
"and they're all perfect and they're all equally important."
Human Resources (2022)
"Whoo!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Jesus, Walter, is that cocaine?"
Human Resources (2022)
"It's catnip, baby. Kitty coke. The meow pow."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Meow-meow! -Ow!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-You scratched me, you fucking psycho!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Love lessons number three through a million:"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Love is a fucking psycho."
Human Resources (2022)
"Okay, are you sure that catnip wasn't actually cocaine?"
Human Resources (2022)
"No, I'm not!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Doh!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Damn it!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Um, Rochelle?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Mr. Pete-Pete-Pete."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey. I feel like I was a little rough earlier"
Human Resources (2022)
"when I was explaining how dumb your idea was."
Human Resources (2022)
"Look. I get it. You're a Logic Rock. You're just doing what you think is right."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh. Exactly."
Human Resources (2022)
"And I was just doing what I think Doug would love."
Human Resources (2022)
"Totally. Uh, wait. What did you do?"
Human Resources (2022)
"You'll see."
Human Resources (2022)
"What did you do? That car is a lease!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Isn't it boss? Now my whole car looks like the jacket."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh! Do you love it, Doug?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh, was Charles Barkley the most dominant power forward"
Human Resources (2022)
"in NBA history despite being only six foot four?"
Human Resources (2022)
"He sure was."
Human Resources (2022)
"You Lovebugs make the most ridiculous decisions."
Human Resources (2022)
"-It's impossible to collaborate with you. -Come on. You love it, you dumbass rock."
Human Resources (2022)
"I certainly love it."
Human Resources (2022)
"And I assume you put this all on your Phoenix Suns purple credit card?"
Human Resources (2022)
"That's right. Finally catching up to us, Pete."
Human Resources (2022)
"Look! It's got a basketball on it and the basketball is on fire."
Human Resources (2022)
"My God. It's a sun, Doug!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Consideration. Yeah?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Let's explore that word through my favorite activity, corporate role play."
Human Resources (2022)
"How about my dick plays the role of a salami"
Human Resources (2022)
"and you have to slice it off to make a nice charcuterie?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Um…"
Human Resources (2022)
"Connie, why don't you join me up front?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Okay, I love acting."
Human Resources (2022)
"Now, Connie, what is something you hate?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, gosh, so many things."
Human Resources (2022)
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