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Clips from Disenchantment - The Unbearable Lightning of Bean (S04E04)

"[chuckles] It doesn't just attract flies."
Disenchantment
"Okay, smart guy, which way to the castle?"
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"Definitely the left tunnel."
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"Definitely the right tunnel."
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"Fine, I'm going this way."
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"Ah! Darkness!"
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"[Bean] What the--"
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"[all scream]"
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"[Luci and Elfo groan]"
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"[Elfo] This is kind of peaceful."
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"[screams] Skeletons!"
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"[P.T.] A genuine, first edition, near mint forest selkie?"
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"Oh, she'll be perfect for my freak show."
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"I told you Zøg was into some sick predilections of the earth side variety."
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"Y'all gon' let me go now, right?"
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"Hell no."
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"Who's going to show us where all the undocumented badgers are?"
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"And a racist antelope will really bring in the rubes."
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"Yeah, see, that's why I came out here."
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"I don't think I can be apart from you."
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"There's this attraction."
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"Do you know what magnets are?"
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"-No. -We go together."
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"You know, peanut butter and jelly?"
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"-No. -A lock and key?"
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"-No. -Shoes and socks?"
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"-No. -Needle and thread?"
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"-[chuckles] No. -Waffles and more waffles?"
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"Definitely not."
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"Zøg, I spend most of my life as a bear, I don't have a big need for metaphors."
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"What the hell's a metaphor?"
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"[chuckles] Humans use them"
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"because they're afraid to say things directly."
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"Well, I ain't afraid of nothing no more."
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"Ursula, I love you more than anything else in my life,"
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"you know, except my kid. Kids."
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"Do you know this one? Husband and wife?"
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"Uh-uh."
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"I love you, Zøg."
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"And I'm glad we're talking about this because--"
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"Hey, it's that little bastard bear boy."
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"He's been whipping pine cones at my head."
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"[laughs] Look at him, starting at the top."
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"Spiky red hair, bulbous nose, psychotic disposition."
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"Moving down, ample belly, muscular calves."
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"Eh, it's like looking at me if I was a little less hairy."
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"Whoa!"
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"I can't believe this is where the big battle happened."
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"Actually, it looks more like a slaughter than a battle."
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"This guy got stabbed in the back."
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"This guy got stabbed in the front."
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"And this guy's got 12 forks in his skull!"
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"Calm down, buddy."
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"These are just elf bones."
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"The actual elves are down in Hell at the big barbecue."
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"We barbecue elves."
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"Go to hell, Elfo."
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"Okay, you know what, Bean?"
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"I thought I was okay with this, but I don't know."
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"I don't know anymore."
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"This looks like an elficide."
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"There's just as many human skeletons down here."
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"No, those aren't human skeletons,"
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"they're elf skeletons standing on the shoulders of other elf skeletons."
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"I'm sorry we took your cast or whatever,"
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"but we won, and it looks like it was a fair fight."
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"-[bone creaks] -[Bean] Hmm?"
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"[all grunting]"
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"[exclaims]"
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"[all groaning]"
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"[exclaims]"
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"[inhales]"
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"But I'm too old to have another kid."
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"Bean nearly killed me, last week!"
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"Oh. But Jasper is such a sweetie."
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"He'll totally want to play with you."
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"Up until he reaches 600 pounds."
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"Then we may want to rethink things."
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"That's not the point."
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"How do I know he's even mine?"
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"[Jasper grumbling]"
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"Okay, he's mine."
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"I ain't going to be a jerk about it."
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"But what do I do now?"
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"Go say hello."
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"[whispers] You know, nothing is more sexy than a good dad."
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"Yeah, I heard that one before."
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"Oh, Jasper!"
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"[grumbling]"
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"Hey there, Jasper."
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"I'm King--"
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"Ow! Son of a…"
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"Wow, you do got a strong arm there! [chuckles nervously]"
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"But maybe don't toss so much sticks and stones at your old man, eh?"
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"I'm your dad, Jasper."
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"[groans]"
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"You're doing great."
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"Go on, he won't bite if approached from the front."
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"If he starts growling, back away quickly."
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"Don't touch his fish if you want to keep your fingers."
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"You know, ah…"
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"You're not gonna catch any trout if they see your shadow."
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"Mmm."
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"-Huh? Huh? -Huh. Huh."
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"Okay, kid number three."
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"This one I'm going to get right."
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"[coughs]"
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"[exclaims]"
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"[log thuds]"
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"[both laugh]"
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"[Jasper squeals]"
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"Oh, jeez."
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"Got another Derek on my hands."
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"[groans]"
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"[giggling] Hey, that tickles."
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"Ah, the simple life."
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"For too long, I've been living like a big shot fancy pants."
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"Out here, I don't need any pants."
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"I got everything I want right here."
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"What about your castle?"
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