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Clips from Weeds - Shit Highway (S03E03)

"No. This is a closed session, Mr. Wilson."
Weeds
"Hold that thought."
Weeds
"I have an announcement to make."
Weeds
"For personal reasons, I've decided to give up my position on the City Council."
Weeds
"- In accordance with... - For fuck's sake."
Weeds
"...section 324, paragraph C, we are hereby compelled to elect"
Weeds
"an interim council member to replace me until the next election."
Weeds
"I'm opening up the floor to nominations."
Weeds
"- I nominate Doug Wilson. - I second the Doug Wilson nomination."
Weeds
"All those in favour of electing Doug Wilson as interim council member say aye."
Weeds
"- Aye. - Oh, you guys."
Weeds
"All those against?"
Weeds
"- Nay. - The resolution passes."
Weeds
"Doug Wilson will take my seat, effective immediately."
Weeds
"- No, this can't possibly be legal. - It is."
Weeds
"- And what makes you so sure? - I wrote the bylaws."
Weeds
"So, now that that's that, I would like to open up a new order of business."
Weeds
"Since there's no longer a conflict of interest,"
Weeds
"I would like to nominate Mitch Kamin to contract all requisite landscaping"
Weeds
"that will accompany shit highway."
Weeds
"Yeah."
Weeds
"- This is bullshit. - No, Celia, it's human shit."
Weeds
"You got to get on the same page with us."
Weeds
"I'm not gonna allow this to happen."
Weeds
"You are not going to turn this into your little corrupt kingdom again."
Weeds
"This time there's going to be checks and balances."
Weeds
"There's going to be oversight."
Weeds
"Are you hearing me?"
Weeds
"I'm shaking."
Weeds
"Nazdorovia!"
Weeds
"Oh!"
Weeds
"- Here we go. Here we go. - Pass it down. Pass it down."
Weeds
"Here's to shit! Fill them up. Let's go."
Weeds
"Mommy got a job. Ice cream for everybody."
Weeds
"I'm the only one home."
Weeds
"Well, then, more for us."
Weeds
"What's your job?"
Weeds
"I'm the new West Coast head of Random House."
Weeds
"Mom, that's great. I told you. Yes!"
Weeds
"Actually, I'm the executive assistant to the head of the Majestic project."
Weeds
"So, let's thank God Mommy smells like coconut."
Weeds
"- Hello. - Where the fuck's my money?"
Weeds
"Hold on. I'll be right back, sweetie."
Weeds
"Hey, guess what. I got a job."
Weeds
"Your job is being my bitch. Where the fuck is my money?"
Weeds
"OK, I'm having a little difficulty moving your brick at the moment."
Weeds
"It's motherfucking weed. Everybody love that shit. Sell it and bring me the money."
Weeds
"The DEA came to my house."
Weeds
"- I can't make a move right now. - The fuck you can't."
Weeds
"DEA been up my ass since I popped out of my mama's sacred place,"
Weeds
"and that don't stop me one bit. Fuck them."
Weeds
"I don't have your confidence."
Weeds
"Then find it, bitch."
Weeds
"Fuck, Yevgeny. Not so hard."
Weeds
"Look, I want my money. You hear me?"
Weeds
"Sell the weed to the fucking DEA all I care. No more excuses."
Weeds
"- City and state, please. - Santa Lejos, California."
Weeds
"- Listing? - Valley State campus security."
Weeds
"Erm... I don't mean to quibble, Mrs. Botwin."
Weeds
"I don't want to invite another visit from your friends, but..."
Weeds
"some of these bags look a little light to me."
Weeds
"Look, I assure you they're not light. It's just an airy blend."
Weeds
"- Look, you want it or not. - Yeah, I'll take it."
Weeds
"I don't have the money on me, so I'll be right back."
Weeds
"- Why would you not bring the money? - I don't know. You make me nervous."
Weeds
"I make you nervous?"
Weeds
"Yeah. You're scary."
Weeds
"You're this scary lady drug dealer with thugs."
Weeds
"That's me."
Weeds
"Go get the money. Leave the bag. Go get the money. Now."
Weeds
"OK, OK. I'll be right back."
Weeds
"That's right. You will."
Weeds
"Erm... I have to drive to where the money is."
Weeds
"So, you want to come with me or wait here or what?"
Weeds
"I'll wait here. I'll be right over there on that bench, OK?"
Weeds
"- Yeah. - Make it snappy."
Weeds
"This is boring."
Weeds
"Gets us out of that fucking obstacle course."
Weeds
"All right, give me that phone."
Weeds
"- They said not to fuck with it. - I'm not gonna fuck with it. I just wanna look at it."
Weeds
"Come on."
Weeds
"What do you think would happen if we made a call?"
Weeds
"We're not supposed to make calls. We're just supposed to turn it on,"
Weeds
"stand here, and let some drone take pictures of us."
Weeds
"- What are you doing? - Making a postcard."
Weeds
"Hey, that's funny."
Weeds
"- Give me your lighter. - What for?"
Weeds
"I want you to take a picture of me lighting my fart."
Weeds
"OK, that's the spirit."
Weeds
"Hey."
Weeds
"Jesus, lady. I thought you were someone else."
Weeds
"Come on. Come on!"
Weeds
"Oh, this phone has video. We can make a movie."
Weeds
"- Fuck. - What's the matter?"
Weeds
"- I got nothing. I'm tensing up. - Fuck. Give me that."
Weeds
"Let me show you how it's done. All right?"
Weeds
"OK, OK, hold on."
Weeds
"Now point the camera at my ass. Hurry."
Weeds
"I don't wanna see your balls, man. Tuck them in."
Weeds
"All right, there, there, fine. Ready?"
Weeds
"OK. It's coming, and it's a good one. Here it comes."
Weeds
"- Hey, what is that? - It's show time."
Weeds
"Fuck."
Weeds
"Holy shit."
Weeds
"OK, something."
Weeds
"Something, something."
Weeds
"Evidence."
Weeds
"Sorry, battle buddy."
Weeds
"- Merci, merci, madame. - Please."
Weeds
"Just like Paris, huh?"
Weeds
"- Sullivan. - I owe you a thank you."
Weeds
"Your friend, Nancy, she's gonna work out. Thanks."
Weeds
"Honestly, the poor thing could really use help."
Weeds
"Entering the job market, you know, at her age."
Weeds
"That crouton thing they do on top of the soup, not good."
Weeds
"Try the croque-monsieur next time, or the quiche."
Weeds
"You seem to know your way around here."
Weeds
"I travel a lot."
Weeds
"Same menu, same framed posters, same smell."
Weeds
"There's a certain comforting predictability to it."
Weeds
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