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Clips from Mike Tyson Mysteries - At the Car Wash (S03E03)

"This just might be where the story ends."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Unsatisfying, unresolved, disturbing."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Well, nice to meet you, ma'am."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Can you give us a ride back to the car wash?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(ALL SCREAMING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I should've voted "no!""
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I should've been Justice Elena Kagan,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"or Justice Samuel Alito, hopelessly partisan!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Where are we?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You're at a secret military installation."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm Dr. Sakti Chakrabarti, head of DARPA."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What the (BLEEP) is that?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No... Chaky-saka-baty?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-What is that? -My name."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, okay. And what the (BLEEP) is DARPA?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Dad, she just said what it was."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, yeah, right, right. Defense something, something."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And her name is Atari Pentagraph. I got it."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm up to date, yeah. I'm up to date, gang."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Please continue."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"For the past 20 years,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"we have been working on artificial intelligence defense systems."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"543 days ago we had a breakthrough,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and we called it Adam."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Adam. Where is he?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Meet Adam. Advanced Dynamic Android Machine."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Adam! -He can't hear you."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He's uploading all of his experiences,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"just as he does every day."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hmm. He can upload his experiences into me any day of the week,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and twice on Sunday."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(LAUGHS) No, I'm sorry. I'm just saying, that body!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What are you saying? He's a robot?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's a crude word for what he is."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Adam is A.I. Artificial Intelligence."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Ooh, like a Roomba."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Not really. -Agree to disagree."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Well, what does this have to do with me?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Why did you choose me to be his girlfriend?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We didn't choose you, he did."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Adam is a fully-autonomous being."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's the definition of A.I."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"By some measures, he is as human as you or I."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Of course, he lacks sensitivity and empathy."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He is a machine, after all."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(GASPS) Oh, my God!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You said "sensitivity chip", and you were right!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I see what you're saying. He's like a washing machine."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No, he's nothing like a washing machine."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Your Roomba example was actually closer to what he is."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Then why did you jump down my throat when I said it?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Doctor, Adam is uploading something I think you should see."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That can't be!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You're pregnant?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Yes. Oh, my God!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Is there something wrong with my baby?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You mean our baby."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That child belongs to the United States Government."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No! This is Adam's and my baby."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I don't care what you say he is."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He's the father of this child"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and we're going to be a family!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, like C-3PO"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and his little baby, R2-D2."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Take Anne to the clinic for observation."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-And kill the rest. -MARQUESS: Kill?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What the (BLEEP)?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Stay away from her."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(ANNE GASPS) -(ALARM SOUNDS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You will never harm Anne or Anne's friends ever."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(GUNS COCKING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Adam! -Anne!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"ANNE: Mmm."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Good thing he thought we were Anne's friends."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Uh, me next! (LAUGHS) Kidding. Kinda."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I bet that baby's gonna be something cool like an iPod or a Fitbit,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"but no matter what it's gonna have problems fitting in,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"especially middle school."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Kids can be so cruel."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You were picked on a lot, right, Pigeon?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, damn! Pigeon's still in that sealed plastic bag in the van."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I hope he's okay."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(PLASTIC CRINKLING) -(BREATHING HEAVILY)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(HEAVY BREATHING CONTINUES)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You can stop struggling."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The fight is over."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The pain has passed."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"PIGEON: Oh... Where am I?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You're in heaven."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You're going to experience ecstasy like you've never known."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We'll begin slowly in the orgy room."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(WOMEN LAUGHING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Would you like a condom?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm just kidding. In heaven, you can ejaculate wherever you please."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(BLOWING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(PIGEON COUGHING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"MIKE: Pigeon!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He's alive!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Why the hell did you do that? I was about to ejaculate all over heaven!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hmm, been there, done that."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Trust me, it gets old real fast."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Everyone making pearly gay jokes."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I mean, it's not clever, people. It's vulgar."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I saved your life, dude! You owe me."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Ooh, I'm gonna make you pay back slow."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You're a (BLEEP) pigeon."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You're gonna wish you died in this bag"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"with all the shit I'm gonna make you do for me."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No more paying for car wash for Mike Tyson,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"that's for sure."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Wow! What an honor to be invited into the delivery room."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You're the closest thing we have to family."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hmm, that's sad."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(MACHINE BEEPING) -(BREATHING HEAVILY)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's coming!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-(ALL GASP) -(ANNE YELLING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(THUDS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
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