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Clips from Lucifer - Somebody's Been Reading Dante's Inferno (S04E04)

"Just tell me everything you've done."
Lucifer
"We can go from there."
Lucifer
"I'm just playing a game, ma'am. You know?"
Lucifer
"Eating coconuts and trying not to get sunburnt."
Lucifer
"But you don't mind..."
Lucifer
"burning the other players,"
Lucifer
"even if it means destroying them, right?"
Lucifer
"[man] Hey, I'm a lawyer, I admit I'm used to doing whatever it takes to win."
Lucifer
"But I'm not gonna kill anybody."
Lucifer
"And what about romantic liaisons?"
Lucifer
"It's hard to stop an attraction just because you're working together,"
Lucifer
"I mean, playing a game."
Lucifer
"I would never fraternize with the enemy, sir."
Lucifer
"Eyes on the prize."
Lucifer
"But there were secret partnerships going on behind people's backs, right?"
Lucifer
"Secrets are part of the game. But they're part of life, too."
Lucifer
"At the end of the day, aren't we all putting on a facade?"
Lucifer
"Well, I know I am."
Lucifer
"Pretending these people don't stink like a pack of wildebeests."
Lucifer
"Do they actually bathe on this show?"
Lucifer
"I can hear you."
Lucifer
"Can you? But can you smell me?"
Lucifer
"Was Melinda colluding with anyone?"
Lucifer
"You mean was she boning someone? Yeah."
Lucifer
"That lawyer guy. So obvi."
Lucifer
"My money's on Kentucky Joe."
Lucifer
"I don't think she was canoodling with anyone. She's a good girl."
Lucifer
"But if she was, it'd be that hippie fella. Hundred percent."
Lucifer
"No clue who Melinda hooked up with. I didn't really hang out with her."
Lucifer
"She's pretty fake."
Lucifer
"Personally, I don't trust anybody here."
Lucifer
"They're all liars."
Lucifer
"- [Chloe] Thank you. - [Lucifer clears throat]"
Lucifer
"- [Lucifer] Thank you. We'll let you know. - [Chloe] Damn it!"
Lucifer
"The more we talk to these people, the less clear things are. Judd was right."
Lucifer
"No-one's who they seem."
Lucifer
"Isn't that the point of these programs, Detective?"
Lucifer
"To show there's no such thing as stereotypes."
Lucifer
"That in real life a Mary Ann might be hiding inside the body of a Ginger."
Lucifer
"Or vice versa, which is my personal preference, actually."
Lucifer
"Right."
Lucifer
"Take you, for example."
Lucifer
"History and religion have..."
Lucifer
"painted a pretty awful picture of you, haven't they?"
Lucifer
"You couldn't be more right, Detective."
Lucifer
"So..."
Lucifer
"you don't bite the heads off of children?"
Lucifer
"No, of course not."
Lucifer
"[Lucifer laughs]"
Lucifer
"I detest the little creatures. And I'd certainly never put one in my mouth."
Lucifer
"Oh."
Lucifer
"Anyway..."
Lucifer
"I'm glad you're curious, Detective."
Lucifer
"I was wondering when we'd get round to this conversation, so..."
Lucifer
"if you have any more questions, I'm all ears."
Lucifer
"Well, Pierce..."
Lucifer
"You killed him."
Lucifer
"So what was he? Like number nine..."
Lucifer
"million? And do you keep track?"
Lucifer
"No."
Lucifer
"Pierce, or, as I tried to tell you at the time,"
Lucifer
"when you wouldn't believe me, was actually Cain..."
Lucifer
"was the first human I've ever killed."
Lucifer
"And truth be told, he wanted to die."
Lucifer
"Well, most of his immortal life, anyway."
Lucifer
"What about Hell?"
Lucifer
"Ah."
Lucifer
"Right. That's what this is about, is it?"
Lucifer
"You probably want to know who's down there."
Lucifer
"Well, many may surprise you."
Lucifer
"Jim Morrison, for instance. Gary Coleman."
Lucifer
"No, no. Hell."
Lucifer
"What's it like down there?"
Lucifer
"All those people you tortured. Did you enjoy it?"
Lucifer
"It was a job..."
Lucifer
"Detective."
Lucifer
"Something I was forced to do."
Lucifer
"Gosh. Someone's been reading Dante's Inferno."
Lucifer
"Well, I'll admit. I... [clears throat]"
Lucifer
"...did a bit of research on my vacation."
Lucifer
"Which is why I wanted to get your side of things."
Lucifer
"But it seems a bunch of the stuff I read was way off."
Lucifer
"Just some stereotype, right?"
Lucifer
"Right."
Lucifer
"Linda, you scared the shit out of me."
Lucifer
"[Maze sighs]"
Lucifer
"Here, drink."
Lucifer
"- Okay, that's gin. - Yeah."
Lucifer
"Only top shelf for my girl."
Lucifer
"- What happened? - You passed out."
Lucifer
"Are you okay?"
Lucifer
"I feel fine."
Lucifer
"I'm probably just dehydrated."
Lucifer
"I am not an expert on the human body,"
Lucifer
"unless you count sex organs,"
Lucifer
"and I'm pretty sure you are not supposed to randomly fall down."
Lucifer
"Well..."
Lucifer
"Okay, what are you doing?"
Lucifer
"Well..."
Lucifer
"Checking to see if your eyes are bleeding."
Lucifer
"Okay, why?"
Lucifer
"Um, well, I found this medical book in Lucifer's library"
Lucifer
"and it says that bleeding eyes are bad."
Lucifer
"Okay, this book is from the 14th Century."
Lucifer
"Fine, whatever. You're acting weird."
Lucifer
"And I'm not leaving you alone until you go see a you."
Lucifer
"- A what? - A doctor."
Lucifer
"Oh, okay."
Lucifer
"Oh, my gosh!"
Lucifer
"You bought this for Chloe?"
Lucifer
"[Lucifer] Hmm."
Lucifer
"That is so romantic, Lucifer!"
Lucifer
"It's just like Indecent Proposal."
Lucifer
"Well, I was thinking more like Pretty Woman, but yes."
Lucifer
"Yes, we're going to the opera."
Lucifer
"There's a special engagement of La traviata in San Francisco."
Lucifer
"- We leave by helicopter at sunset. - Wow."
Lucifer
"That is going to be the best date ever."
Lucifer
"[Lucifer chuckles lightly]"
Lucifer
"- Isn't it? - Yes, well..."
Lucifer
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