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Clips from Arrested Development - Let 'Em Eat Cake (S01E01)

"- had perhaps come at a bad time. - I've made a huge mistake."
Arrested Development
"And Tobias was having his first book reading."
Arrested Development
"And Tobias was having his first book reading."
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"And, for the ease of the reader, I have changed all the gender-related pronouns..."
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"he, she... to the masculine he."
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"The Man Inside Me. For Lindsay, my rock."
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"I could not have done this without him."
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"And Lindsay arrived to support her husband."
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"For there is a man inside me, and only when he's finally out..."
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"can I walk free of pain."
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"This book is gonna sell, like, a billion copies."
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"Lindsay! Oh, I'm so glad you came."
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"I was hoping for more women."
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"Perhaps I shouldn't have just used he. I think that was a mistake."
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"And Lindsay realized that Tobias was just as oblivious as she'd always thought."
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"Tobias, I don't think this relationship is gonna work."
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"What are you talking about? We've had some great times."
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"We've got nothing left, Tobias."
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"And Michael went to confront his father."
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"You're building houses in Iraq? I mean, do you know how they punish treason?"
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"- First time. - I've never heard of a second."
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"Oh, I've got the worst... attorneys."
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"This is why I didn't want to get you involved, but we can fix this."
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"- What are Kitty's demands? What does she want? - She wants my job."
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"Suddenly everybody wants my job, and I should've given it to her."
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"You mean, you didn't? Michael! She has the evidence of what we did over there."
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"No, all she thinks it is is unpaid taxes."
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"Yeah. What if she gives it to someone who's even moderately intelligent?"
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"In fact, Kitty had gone to someone moderately intelligent..."
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"in her continuing quest for control of the Bluth Company."
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"- I can't believe you called me for a date. - You didn't tell anyone, did you?"
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"Are you kidding? I don't need to brag..."
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"that some people haven't even been on a date!"
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"Day not over yet, fatty."
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"You weren't thinking clearly. I mean, none of us are."
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"We need bread."
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"If this information was so damaging, why didn't you just shred it?"
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"Well, Saddam owed us money."
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"You didn't realize that he wouldn't pay?"
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"Your mom had a good feeling about him."
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"So Mom knew this entire time, and shejust lied to my face for months and months?"
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"Let me tell you something, Dad. This is... This is your problem. Okay? Not mine."
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"Well, maybe it wouldn't be my problem if you did what I asked for once in your life..."
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"- and you gave Kitty what I asked you to! - Once in my damn life?"
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"All I've ever done my entire life is do exactly what you told me to, all right?"
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"I've done everything for this family, Pop. Not anymore. Kitty can have my job."
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"And you can take your own polygraph test, 'cause I'm done."
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"- I'm done with you, and I'm done with the business. - Great."
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"I'm gonna get a lethal injection because my son won't eat a potato."
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"George Sr., in a surprise move..."
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"volunteered to take the polygraph."
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"- So did you swipe the sedative from the infirmary... - No!"
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"- to lower your heart rate? - No! It's okay. I want to do this..."
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"because I want people to know I never willfully deceived anyone."
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"Mistakes were made, but I never intended to hurt anyone!"
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"I was trying to support my family!"
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"- He doesn't appear to be on a sedative. - But I can see clearly now..."
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"sitting in this chair, strapped to this machine, I can see that my life has become a failure!"
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"I've let people down, let myself down."
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"But I love my country! I love it here!"
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"You can shop... I love my... Can't breathe."
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"- I can't breathe! - Wait! Wait! Are you guilty? Yes or no?"
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"- I think he's having a heart attack. - That was not a nod. No."
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"- That was not a nod. - Call an ambulance!"
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"- Oh, how is he? - Stable."
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"But they don't know if he's due for another one."
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"It's his own fault. What kind of diet is this? It's too much meat."
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"I want all of you off this immediately."
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"Except you."
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"Tobias! I can't believe you came!"
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"Oh, come on, Lindsay. This is my family."
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"And Lindsay realized that perhaps they did have something left..."
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"a real connection."
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"Also, Dale, one of the gentlemen from my reading..."
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"is a nurse here, so we were able to park right out front."
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"Oh! Barry. Did you talk to a doctor?"
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"I did. I have poison oak."
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"Do you believe it? Where the hell did I get that?"
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"- She was talking about George. - No, he's the same."
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"Look, I guess we should decide who's gonna speak for the family. I would..."
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"but I have Laker tickets."
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"Buster knew this was his chance..."
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"to put Kitty's coup d'Ètat in action."
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"He wondered ifhe was up for it."
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"Someone might have to sign the do not resuscitate form."
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"- And he decided he wasn't. - I need to make a telephone call. Get out of something."
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"I'm in charge now."
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"I speak for this family."
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"I mean, l-I could, if you wanted me to."
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"I'd rather not, obviously. Don't know what I'd say."
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"Why do I have to be the one? I don't need this."
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"Why does this have to become my problem? No. I'm out."
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"Forget it. Find somebody else. I'm sick of it."
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"- I'm sick of doing everything for this family. - Where is Michael?"
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"- Typical. - Did somebody call him?"
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"In fact, they hadn't."
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"And at that moment, he was determined to finally get..."
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"- as far away from his family as possible. - Hey, pal."
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"- Pack your bags. - Where are we goin'?"
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"Anywhere. Joshua Tree, space camp, the Baseball Hall of Fame..."
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"Everything you and I have always wanted to do but haven't been able to because of this family."
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"- We're just gonna go? - Yeah. And I don't know if we're even gonna come back."
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"- There's nothing keeping us here. - Well, Dad..."
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"- I like it here. - What the hell's going on with you lately?"
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"I wanted to watch Hindsight, and you weren't there."
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"I want to pack up and desert the family, and you don't want to."
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"- Is it this new girlfriend? - No, it..."
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"It's because of the family. I like the family."
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"- I mean, if we leave, who's gonna take care of these people? - I don't know."
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"The state or the police. Maybe the Magicians' Alliance will pick up some slack."
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"Hey. That's gonna be them, and they're gonna want something."
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"We're not answering that."
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"Hello?"
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"- Where's George Michael? - Exactly. Where is he?"
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"Ever since he's been dating this Annie McNo-face, he's been blowing me off."
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"- Oh, hey. Where's Pop-Pop? - Room 212."
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"And that's when Maeby decided..."
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"And that's when Maeby decided..."
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"that perhaps she could use her uncle to make her cousin jealous."
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"Hey, Dad. Wait up."
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