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Clips from Rutherford Falls (2021) - Stoodis (S01E01)

"If you're gonna turn this shopping complex"
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"into a true Rutherfordian experience,"
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"I'm gonna need the following."
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"$23 million to expand and modernize"
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"the Rutherford Museum,"
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"full veto power on all architectural"
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"and historical decisions, use of the company helicopter."
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"- We don't have a company helicopter."
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"- Well, if we get one, I want to use it."
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"Also an unlimited diorama budget."
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"I've already spoken to Marshall."
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"He is in, and he better be,"
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"considering I crushed it at his wedding."
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"- He sang "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles."
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"His version was 11 minutes, and it was amazing."
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"- Well, that does sound epic,"
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"and of course we can discuss your many demands."
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"In the meantime, I have something"
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"that I think you'll be equally excited about."
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"[plucky music]"
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"- You look incredible. - I look ridiculous."
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"- He looks ridiculous."
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"- This costume is wildly inaccurate."
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"It's like a hodgepodge of colonial fashion."
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"Military jacket, a scrivener's cravat,"
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"a barrister's wig,"
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"and boots clearly taken from a pirate costume."
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"- We're capturing the spirit of the era"
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"to give the people what they want."
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"Which reminds me-- you're gonna love this."
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"* *"
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"This is the poster image for Ye Olde Rutherford Village."
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"* *"
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"- Okay, where do I even start?"
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"This type of butter churn"
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"was used primarily in the Carolinas,"
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"where there is significantly higher humidity,"
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"and no Rutherford has actually owned a dairy cow"
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"since Zachary Rutherford left his wife for one in 1782."
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"- Our market research shows"
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"that the average American's understanding of history"
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"can be boiled down to seven concepts:"
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"George Washington, the flag, Independence Day,"
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""Independence Day" the movie,"
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"MLK, "Forrest Gump," and butter churns."
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"These enhancements will take your family museum"
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"to the next level."
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"- Grandpappy Rutherford's Old Time Creamery"
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"and History Museum?"
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"- People find dairy-based businesses"
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"charming as hell."
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"It's wholesome."
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"And if you throw in a cow with a cute name,"
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"it's off the charts."
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"- You could call him Sir Milksalot."
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"- Home run, Bobbie. Home run."
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"- You can't milk a male cow!"
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"- Nathan, this museum will draw like crazy."
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"That's why we put it next to the food court."
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"[gentle music]"
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"Go ahead. Give it a churn."
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"* *"
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"- I'm really trying here, Terry."
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"* *"
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"This is what you wanted?"
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"- Yes, actually, and it's what you want,"
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"a brand-new, state of the art museum"
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"filled with people learning about your family."
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"- Respectfully, every version of your family is bullshit."
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"At least this one is profitable."
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"- Ooh, ooh, what about Moodonna?"
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"[gasps]"
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"- Josh, come on."
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"We need to get this stuff into the van"
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"before Joan changes her mind"
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"or steals our youthful bodies "Get Out" style."
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"- I know. I know."
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"But there's so much stuff here."
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"I mean, come on, these love letters."
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""Elizabeth, my love."
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"I will always regret that we never had the courage to--""
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"- That says 1982, not 1882. - Ah, damn."
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"I guess it's more just like, "Elizabeth, my love,"
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""I will always regret that we never had the courage"
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"to run away together." - Ooh."
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"- "I will forever cherish that you named our boy Nathan"
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"after my father.""
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"* *"
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"- Okay."
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"Elizabeth is Nathan's mom, but who is this Ronnie guy?"
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"- Um, I think it's his biological father,"
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"which means I don't think"
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"Nathan's technically a Rutherford."
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"* *"
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"- It's just a letter. It doesn't prove anything."
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"- Right."
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"Well, actually, it's letters-- a lot of 'em."
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"And some of them were pretty graphic."
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"- Yeah, who puts illustrations in a love letter?"
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"[chuckles] - Yeah, the '70s were wild."
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"- Yeah, they were."
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"- You gonna tell Nathan?"
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"- There's an explanation for this."
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"This isn't real."
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"Nathan's already pissed, so I'm not gonna worry him"
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"any more than I have to."
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"All we have is barely a hunch."
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"- Plus the letters. - Yes, we have the letters!"
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"Sorry."
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"[soft dramatic music]"
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"* *"
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"- Just because we're changing the museum"
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"doesn't mean you have to pack everything up."
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"- It's all good, Bobbie."
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"Just gotta make room"
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"for some butter churns and fake history."
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"Might as well scrap my entire family's legacy"
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"while I'm at it."
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"* *"
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"- Oh, but this is Eustace Rutherford's shoehorn."
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