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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Look Me Up Sometime (S01E01)

"No. Absolutely not."
Single Drunk Female
"Have I had a pregnancy scare? Multiple."
Single Drunk Female
"Did I tell Jordan? No! Again, not my boyfriend."
Single Drunk Female
"You got to know your situation"
Single Drunk Female
"and then adjust your expectations accordingly."
Single Drunk Female
"What do I do if I get the job?"
Single Drunk Female
"You're gonna need more than a letter."
Single Drunk Female
"Ooh."
Single Drunk Female
"I-I have to fill all of that out?"
Single Drunk Female
"I have to fill this out."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm just playing. It's all online."
Single Drunk Female
"But I want you to know..."
Single Drunk Female
"this is the kind of hell you're gonna put me through."
Single Drunk Female
"You just keep that on standby just in case, huh?"
Single Drunk Female
"Um..."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, but..."
Single Drunk Female
"you are good to go for up to 72 hours."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, that was it? Wow, okay, great, thank you so much."
Single Drunk Female
"(laughs): Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"All right, bye, Gail."
Single Drunk Female
"Tell Jordan I said hi."
Single Drunk Female
"I won't."
Single Drunk Female
"(doorbell ringing)"
Single Drunk Female
"-BRIT: Hi. -Oh, hi."
Single Drunk Female
"-Hey. -Uh... come on in."
Single Drunk Female
"Thanks."
Single Drunk Female
"-What's up? Is everything okay? -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, is it the-the last $2,000?"
Single Drunk Female
"'Cause I'm gonna get it as soon as I can."
Single Drunk Female
"No, no, that's not it. Um..."
Single Drunk Female
"I just wanted to give you this."
Single Drunk Female
"-What'd I win? -(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"Joel and I talked about it, and, uh,"
Single Drunk Female
"maybe it would be nice if you were at our wedding."
Single Drunk Female
"'Cause, you know, things feel different."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"-Right. -Right."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm sorry, I'm just realizing that was kind of an ambush."
Single Drunk Female
"Um, you don't have to let us know now."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I'll... figure it out."
Single Drunk Female
"-Cool. -Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"-Cool. Okay. -Great."
Single Drunk Female
"-I'm gonna... -Oh. Okay. (chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"-Cool. -All right."
Single Drunk Female
"(door opens and closes)"
Single Drunk Female
"BOB: And a little more for me. Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay. I'm gonna talk to her."
Single Drunk Female
"She can't go. That's it."
Single Drunk Female
"On second thought..."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm gonna go roast a chicken."
Single Drunk Female
"Carol, just talk to her."
Single Drunk Female
"No!"
Single Drunk Female
"Trust me, the chicken will work better."
Single Drunk Female
"The way I do it,"
Single Drunk Female
"first you, you pat it dry."
Single Drunk Female
"That's the most important part."
Single Drunk Female
"Then you sprinkle it really liberally with salt"
Single Drunk Female
"and you take a stick of butter"
Single Drunk Female
"and you shove it up under the skin,"
Single Drunk Female
"and that chicken will say everything better"
Single Drunk Female
"than I ever could."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, that does sound delicious,"
Single Drunk Female
"but you should just talk to her."
Single Drunk Female
"Hmm?"
Single Drunk Female
"(sighs)"
Single Drunk Female
"(knocking on door)"
Single Drunk Female
"How was your day?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, uh, yeah, it's fine. Um..."
Single Drunk Female
"Brit invited me to her wedding."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh. Maybe we could sit at the same table."
Single Drunk Female
"I know it's not fun. I know it's weird."
Single Drunk Female
"I could hold your hand."
Single Drunk Female
"You know, uh..."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't really want to go, actually, and I..."
Single Drunk Female
"don't really want to hold your hand either,"
Single Drunk Female
"but thanks for offering."
Single Drunk Female
"What are you writing?"
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, uh, yeah. Just a piece about..."
Single Drunk Female
"you know, Gen Z and..."
Single Drunk Female
"morality and..."
Single Drunk Female
"-Birkenstocks. -Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"Can I see? Bob wears them. They help his back."
Single Drunk Female
"No, it's not, it's not really ready yet."
Single Drunk Female
"Samantha, just me-- let me take a look."
Single Drunk Female
"-Mom. -No, I won't judge."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't want you to see it. So, sorry, I..."
Single Drunk Female
"I haven't written anything."
Single Drunk Female
"Why not?"
Single Drunk Female
"I-I can't write unless I'm drunk, I guess."
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know, I can like, you know,"
Single Drunk Female
"work in a grocery store and go to Brit's stupid wedding"
Single Drunk Female
"and go on some pretty bad coffee dates,"
Single Drunk Female
"but I-I cannot write without alcohol."
Single Drunk Female
"(sighs)"
Single Drunk Female
"I don't know what to tell you. I can't."
Single Drunk Female
"Samantha, here's the thing."
Single Drunk Female
"Nobody does anything better drunk."
Single Drunk Female
"Do you really think"
Single Drunk Female
"everything you wrote then was so wonderful?"
Single Drunk Female
"Where are the book sales?"
Single Drunk Female
"Where are the Pulitzers? Come on."
Single Drunk Female
"Is Bzzzzzzzzzz the best you can do?"
Single Drunk Female
"I-I don't know. At least it was something."
Single Drunk Female
"You don't know what you're capable of now."
Single Drunk Female
"So, you're gonna lock yourself in"
Single Drunk Female
"and write something. Tonight."
Single Drunk Female
"Anything."
Single Drunk Female
"Because, even if it sucks,"
Single Drunk Female
"it will still be good enough for Smug News."
Single Drunk Female
"No, it..."
Single Drunk Female
"(Carol sighs)"
Single Drunk Female
"Now I'm gonna go roast a chicken."
Single Drunk Female
"And I'll bring it in to you."
Single Drunk Female
"(sighs)"
Single Drunk Female
"(door closes)"
Single Drunk Female
"(phone buzzes)"
Single Drunk Female
"(indistinct chatter)"
Single Drunk Female
"(clears throat) Excuse me, miss."
Single Drunk Female
"Is this bus going to the Big Apple?"
Single Drunk Female
"Wild."
Single Drunk Female
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