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Clips from This Fool - Sh*t or Get Off the Pot (S01E01)

"And I'm gonna tell you why."
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"Once upon a time, there was a little boy"
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"who used to get his butt kicked."
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"A lot."
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"This boy was really little,"
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"so little, that people used to call him"
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"Tiny Juan."
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"♪"
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"[chokes, sighs]"
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"So Tiny Juan had a bully,"
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"who used to do really bad stuff to him"
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"even worse than what you're doing to these boys, mijo."
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"And that bully's name"
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"was Big Luis. - Big Luis."
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"♪"
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"♪"
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"JUAN: Big Luis bullied Tiny Juan"
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"really, really bad."
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"He'd sock him in the gut and gave him titty twisters."
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"He'd throw wet paper towels at him while he's trying to take a dump."
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"He even took raw meat and smashed it into Tiny Juan's forehead"
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"and then had a vicious dog try to eat it."
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"And Big Luis and all his friends would always call him names,"
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"like White Boy or Miklo"
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"or say stupid tonterías like, "No mames, Güero,""
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"which made Tiny Juan feel confused about his place in this world."
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"♪"
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"But luckily,"
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"Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior,"
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"saved Tiny Juan."
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"Giving him strength,"
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"courage, and determination."
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"♪"
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"Because of what happened to him in school,"
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"Tiny Juan decided to dedicate his whole life"
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"to getting really, really, really big!"
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"So that he would never, ever, ever, ever!"
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"Get bullied again!"
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"♪"
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"♪"
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"God answered Tiny Juan's prayers."
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"And Tiny Juan... became Big Juan."
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"♪"
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"And Big Luis"
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"grew up to be this little bitch sitting right here."
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"♪"
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"Which is why you should be careful when you bully kids, Eric."
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"Because these little kids that you're making memes about"
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"can grow up to be big and strong."
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"And maybe one day if they pray and they pray and they pray,"
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"God will answer their prayers many years later"
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"by allowing them to get sweet revenge"
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"on the boy that bullied them."
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"And, my boy,"
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"God... has rewarded me today."
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"Niños..."
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"go to your rooms and lock the doors."
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"♪"
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"Now!"
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"♪"
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"- Run! AIDEN: Okay."
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"[whimpering]"
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"- Hey, hey, listen, Tiny Juan."
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"That was in the past, homey, alright? I'm sorry!"
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"Please have mercy on me!"
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"[screaming]"
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"What the fuck?"
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"[groaning]"
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"[screaming]"
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"I'll pray for you, fool!"
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"[screaming continues] [door opens]"
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"Let's get the fuck outta here."
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"MICHAEL: What happened, Tio? - Tio, Michael was scared."
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"He screamed like a little girl."
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"- You screamed like a girl!"
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"- Hey! - Hey, hey, listen, listen."
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"There's no reason to scream like little girls, alright?"
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"I just beat your bully's dad's ass, just like you asked me to,"
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"because I always look out for my familia."
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"And because I'm way cooler than your Tio Julio."
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"So let this be a lesson, alright?"
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"Just because some fool's bigger than you"
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"doesn't mean you can't put hands on him, okay?"
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"JUAN: [screaming] Big Luis!"
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"LUIS: Hey, I'll race you fools home."
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"AIDEN: Hey!"
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"♪ This magic moment ♪"
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"♪"
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"♪ So different and so new ♪"
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"♪ Was like any other ♪"
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"[Maggie sighs]"
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"♪ Until I kiss you ♪"
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"♪ And then it happened ♪"
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"- It's okay."
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"♪ It took me by surprise ♪"
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"♪ I knew that you felt it too ♪"
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"- Dawg, what happened to you? You look like shit."
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"♪ By the look in your eyes ♪"
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"You smell like shit."
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"♪ Sweeter than wine ♪"
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"- Me and Maggie got back together."
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"♪ Softer than the summer night ♪"
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"♪ Everything I want, I have ♪"
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"- I'll pray for you too, my boy."
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"♪ Whenever I hold you tight ♪"
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"I'll pray for you too."
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"♪ This magic moment ♪"
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"♪"
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"♪ While you lips are close to mine ♪"
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"♪ Will last forever ♪"
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"♪"
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"♪ Forever, till the end of time ♪"
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"♪ Magic ♪"
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"- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ - ♪ Magic ♪"
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"- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ - ♪ Magic ♪"
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"- ♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm ♪ - ♪ Magic ♪"
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"♪"
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"♪ Sweeter than wine ♪"
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"♪ Softer than the summer... ♪"
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