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Clips from This Fool - Sh*t or Get Off the Pot (S01E01)

"is you can complain even when you're fed like a king."
This Fool
"- So which way to the ocean view?"
This Fool
"- This way. - Wait. You sure?"
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"- I told you I planned the whole thing out."
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"We're gonna get there right at sunset."
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"It's gonna be tight."
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"- Just seems like it would be the other way."
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"- Do you trust me or not?"
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"- Okay. No, you're right. I trust you."
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"- Follow me then, slut. JULIO: Alright."
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"♪"
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"♪"
This Fool
"[dog barking in distance]"
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"[knock on door]"
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"- You gotta kick him in his balls, Tio Luis."
This Fool
"- No, you gotta curb stomp him like in American History X!"
This Fool
"- Hey, hey, guys, chill."
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"Alright? Just trust me."
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"After this, they're gonna make memes outta me kicking his ass."
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"- That's not how memes work."
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"- Hey, well, that's how they're gonna work!"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"Hey, big dawg."
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"Sorry to bother you, uh, but these are my nephews and--"
This Fool
"Yeah, they said, uh,"
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"you know, they've been getting bullied by your son,"
This Fool
"so I'd really, really appreciate it"
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"if, you know, your kid could stop making memes of them."
This Fool
"I mean, he's a true artist."
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"Don't get me wrong, little homey gets down."
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"But, you know, this generation, they get real sentido"
This Fool
"unlike you and me, big dawg."
This Fool
"- You got it, bro."
This Fool
"I was actually just making dinner."
This Fool
"Why don't you guys come inside, huh?"
This Fool
"Sit down, we can talk about this, get it all sorted out."
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"- Chicken. JUAN: Welcome."
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"♪"
This Fool
"JULIO: My stomach fuckin' hurts."
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"I keep getting these sharp-ass cramps."
This Fool
"Are you sure there was no dairy in those cookies?"
This Fool
"MAGGIE: Yes, Julio, I'm sure."
This Fool
"Maybe you just finally got your first period."
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"Felicidades."
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"- It's not funny."
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"And this uneven trail isn't helping."
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"I knew we should have taken the trail I suggested."
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"- Why don't you ever just trust me?"
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"- Oh, I don't know."
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"Maybe because you cheated on me with my boss at Domino's."
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"♪"
This Fool
"- What the fuck, Julio?"
This Fool
"We were teenagers."
This Fool
"You don't get to hang that over my head for 15 years."
This Fool
"Plus, I only cheated on you"
This Fool
"'cause you cheated on me with my cousin Ofelia."
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"That's worse. That's family!"
This Fool
"And she's fucking ugly!"
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"- She wasn't that ugly."
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"You remember it wrong. You were the first one to cheat."
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"- No, no, no. I remember it right."
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"You cheated on me freshman year, then I cheated back that summer."
This Fool
"- No. You were the first one to cheat."
This Fool
"Or wait. Maybe you cheated after I cheated first."
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"- Come on, Julio. Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter anymore."
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"- Can we just keep walking while we argue?"
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"It's getting fuckin' dark and we gotta move."
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"P-22 is gonna fuckin' devour us."
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"I knew we should have taken the other trail I suggested."
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"- You already said that!"
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"God damn, you're driving me fucking crazy!"
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"You just have to control everything,"
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"our fucking relationship, which trail we take,"
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"even your fucking hair!"
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"Look how stiff that shit is!"
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"- Oh, fuck. - What?"
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"- [gasps] Holy shit."
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"Is it really P-22?"
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"- It's my stomach. I definitely ate dairy."
This Fool
"What were the ingredients in those cookies?"
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"- They were fucking dairy free."
This Fool
"How many times do I have to fucking tell you?"
This Fool
"- List the ingredients!"
This Fool
"- Oh, my fucking God!"
This Fool
"Sugar, flour, lactose-free chocolate chips,"
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"oats, butter."
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"- Butter? Butter isn't lactose free!"
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"- Yes, it is!"
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"Butter comes from the butter plant!"
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"- Butter plant? Maggie, what the fuck?"
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"- Oh, no. JULIO: Oh, fuck."
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"I feel like I'm about to explode."
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"- It's-it's okay. Just-just-just let it out."
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"- No, I can't."
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"- Yes, you can. I believe in you."
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"- What are you, a high school basketball coach?"
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"Get the fuck outta here!"
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"- Um, I'll keep a lookout."
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"- This is not a fucking burglary."
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"Go! Run! - I'm so, so, so, sorry."
This Fool
"I'll get you some leaves to wipe with."
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"- It's fuckin' happening. Just fuckin' leave me!"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"- [echoing] I'm not leaving you."
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"- [echoing] Get the fuck away!"
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"- Just... let... go!"
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"♪"
This Fool
"[farts]"
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"♪"
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"♪"
This Fool
"[growling]"
This Fool
"- Eric."
This Fool
"Get in here."
This Fool
"Now!"
This Fool
"Sit down next to them, Eric."
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"Eric."
This Fool
"This man has come all the way over here"
This Fool
"to tell me that you've been making memes about his nephews."
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"You shouldn't be a bully, Eric."
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