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Clips from Never Have I Ever (2020) - Pilot (S01E01)

"As we travel through all of humanity's most horrific atrocities,"
Never Have I Ever (2020)
"I want you to feel shooketh."
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"[teacher] Thank you."
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"Trust."
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"[trash can thuds]"
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"[school bell rings]"
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"But even though she told her friends that Jonah was the one she was after,"
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"Paxton Hall-Yoshida just seemed so much more,"
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"I don't know... hot?"
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"[upbeat music playing]"
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"[teacher] Devi, Ben. Can you come back in here, please?"
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"I am honored to have powerful voices in my class,"
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"but in the past, the competition between the two of you"
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"[McEnroe] Devi has, what you might consider, a short fuse,"
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"and sometimes, she's a straight up psycho,"
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"which I find pretty admirable."
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"-[screams] -[shatters]"
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"[class gasps]"
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"for the good of the class?"
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"Well, of course, Mister Shapiro."
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"A great idea, as always."
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"I agree. In fact, I liked your idea even more than he did. [chuckles]"
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"[pleasant music playing]"
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"Okay."
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"Man, David, watching you flirt with Jonah"
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"was just about the saddest thing I've ever seen,"
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"and I saw my dad run over our cat."
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"You know he's gay, right?"
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"Your cat? No, I didn't."
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"[sarcastically] That's so cool."
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"Word of advice: just give up."
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"Plenty of amazing people have died as virgins."
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"You and the rest of the UN are in good company."
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"You know? You shouldn't call us the UN."
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"-It's racist, and offensive, and-- -What?"
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"Oh, like the United Nations?"
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"No. We call you the UN, because you are unfuckable nerds."
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"[gasps]"
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"[chuckles]"
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"-[intense music playing] -[sighs]"
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"Can you believe he said that?"
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"What do you think, Doctor Ryan? Do you agree with him?"
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"[McEnroe] This is Doctor Jamie Ryan, a child psychologist"
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"from Toluca Lake, California."
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"She's Devi's therapist,"
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"and this morning, the woman Devi is shouting at."
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"Wait, you're asking me to tell you if I think you're bangable?"
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"-Yeah. -Devi, I can't do that."
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"Ethically, legally, and most importantly, it's creepy."
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"So you agree with Ben Gross and the whole school"
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"and think I'm a disgusting troll?"
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"Hey, I am not going to tell you I think you're sexy."
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"I will tell you that kid sucks, and you should ignore him."
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"Doctor Ryan, you know how much trouble I have taking the high road."
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"I do. Why don't you sit down?"
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"So, you're back up on your feet."
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"That's gotta feel good."
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"Yeah. That part was good."
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"It was so nice not to be in a wheelchair,"
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"but people were still staring at me."
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"They all think I was faking being paralyzed."
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"Why would I fake that?"
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"Because it's such a cool look"
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"to have your cousin help you onto the toilet?"
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"Listen, I think I've got something that could really help you."
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"Paxil, Lexapro, Xanax, Zoloft? I'll try anything."
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"Whoa! Knock it off, wannabe pill popper."
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"It's a grief journal."
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"Sometimes, the pain we feel is too hard to say out loud."
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"This way, you don't actually have to say it."
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"And if this doesn't work, you can always prescribe me some Klonopin."
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"Girl, bye."
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"[upbeat music playing]"
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"Devi, how was your first day at school?"
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"I'll be honest. It was mixed."
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"I got all the classes I wanted."
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"Prime locker location. Ben Gross is still a dick."
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"Are we allowed to say "dick" now?"
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"No one can say "dick" in this house."
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"Why do let that Ben Gross rile you up so much? He's like 5'2"."
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"Damn, Mom! That was savage. Up top."
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"Ah, okay. I do not like high-fiving. It's violent."
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"Can we please not do that again?"
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"On a more civilized note,"
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"I received some very exciting information today."
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"Kamala, your parents have found you a match..."
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"for marriage."
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"They did?"
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"Yes! His name is Prashant. He's an engineer."
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"Isn't that fantastic?"
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"[McEnroe] Kamala was expected to have an arranged marriage"
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"after she finished her studies abroad,"
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"but she felt less than enthusiastic about this idea."
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"Oh, that's so wonderful."
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"A husband from India? Someone I've never met before."
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"[sarcastically] Perfect stranger. How exciting."
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"I know!"
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"Finally, some good news for this family."
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"Yeah. That's frigging great."
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"Kamala does nothing and gets a full husband in the mail."
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"Meanwhile, I'm trying to trick a gay guy into going to Johnny Rockets with me."
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"You know what? I'm just too jealous to eat with you right now."
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"Devi..."
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"[male voice] Devi."
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"[angelic music playing]"
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"-[male voice] Devi, come here. -[clapping in background]"
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"[music continues]"
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"-Dad? -Come, come. Sit down."
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"I want to show you something."
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"This is John McEnroe."
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"He is my favorite player of all time."
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"[McEnroe] Hey, look at that! It's me."
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"I told you it would all make sense."
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"He doesn't let anyone push him around."
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"Look at him, giving it back to that umpire."
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"He's a firecracker... just like you."
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"[sniffles]"
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"Kanna, what is it?"
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"Dad, am I ugly?"
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"What nonsense. I'm looking at you right now."
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