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Clips from NewsRadio - The Crisis (S01E01)

Look, I really wish

"Look, I really wish"

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you hadn't mentioned the dinners.

"you hadn't mentioned the dinners."

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I know. I'm sorry. It just slipped out.

"I know. I'm sorry. It just slipped out."

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I know, but those are the kind up slip-ups

"I know, but those are the kind up slip-ups"

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we really can't afford.

"we really can't afford."

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Look, Dave, I only said two dinners.

"Look, Dave, I only said two dinners."

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That's not suspicious.

"That's not suspicious."

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All right, all right. Mm. That looks good.

"All right, all right. Mm. That looks good."

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You want some?

"You want some?"

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No, no, I don't have time.

"No, no, I don't have time."

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Just take a little piece.

"Just take a little piece."

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No, I really don't have time. No.

"No, I really don't have time. No."

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Come on, you have to eat something. Come on. No.

"Come on, you have to eat something. Come on. No."

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If that's what it takes to get a new desk,

"If that's what it takes to get a new desk,"

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I don't even want one.

"I don't even want one."

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Okay, from now on,

"Okay, from now on,"

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we probably shouldn't feed each other in public.

"we probably shouldn't feed each other in public."

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Lisa.

"Lisa."

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Dave, could I see you in the can for a minute?

"Dave, could I see you in the can for a minute?"

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Shrimp, Dave?

"Shrimp, Dave?"

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I'm...full, sir.

"I'm...full, sir."

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Uh, you think we could make this quick, sir?

"Uh, you think we could make this quick, sir?"

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I really have to get down to the transit commission.

"I really have to get down to the transit commission."

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You want to tell me a little

"You want to tell me a little"

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about the morale problem out there?

"about the morale problem out there?"

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Uh, well, everyone's under a certain amount of pressure,

"Uh, well, everyone's under a certain amount of pressure,"

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you know, what with this subway story and all.

"you know, what with this subway story and all."

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I think there's a little more to it, isn't there?

"I think there's a little more to it, isn't there?"

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All right, I'm going to come clean with you, sir.

"All right, I'm going to come clean with you, sir."

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No, I will not accept your resignation.

"No, I will not accept your resignation."

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Well, I-- I-- I wasn't going to say that.

"Well, I-- I-- I wasn't going to say that."

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I was just going to say

"I was just going to say"

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that I made a small error in judgment.

"that I made a small error in judgment."

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A small error in judgment...

"A small error in judgment..."

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What exactly would that be, Dave?

"What exactly would that be, Dave?"

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Would that be Matthew's desk or the dinner with Matthew

"Would that be Matthew's desk or the dinner with Matthew"

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or the dinner with Lisa

"or the dinner with Lisa"

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or the second dinner with Lisa?

"or the second dinner with Lisa?"

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Okay, I made three or four small errors in judgment.

"Okay, I made three or four small errors in judgment."

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Oh, they weren't errors, Dave.

"Oh, they weren't errors, Dave."

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They were decisions, and that's your job.

"They were decisions, and that's your job."

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No, the only error I see is that

"No, the only error I see is that"

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you're letting your people push you around

"you're letting your people push you around"

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and make you second-guess your decisions.

"and make you second-guess your decisions."

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Of course you're right.

"Of course you're right."

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And now you're letting me do it.

"And now you're letting me do it."

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You want my advice? Yes.

"You want my advice? Yes."

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Well, I'm not going to give it to you.

"Well, I'm not going to give it to you."

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Listen, Dave...

"Listen, Dave..."

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I'm sure you're going to make the right decision on this.

"I'm sure you're going to make the right decision on this."

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Sir, if we're done

"Sir, if we're done"

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with whatever this is we're doing,

"with whatever this is we're doing,"

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I really need to get out of this office,

"I really need to get out of this office,"

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get downtown,

"get downtown,"

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and to talk the transit commissioner

"and to talk the transit commissioner"

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into doing something he flatly refuses to do.

"into doing something he flatly refuses to do."

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Well, then, what are you doing standing here

"Well, then, what are you doing standing here"

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watching me eat lunch in the can?

"watching me eat lunch in the can?"

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Exactly.

"Exactly."

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Are you coming, sir?

"Are you coming, sir?"

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Oh, I kind of like it in here.

"Oh, I kind of like it in here."

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If you see Bob,

"If you see Bob,"

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tell him to bring me a little soy sauce, will you?

"tell him to bring me a little soy sauce, will you?"

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Dave, Dave, what did the transit commissioner say?

"Dave, Dave, what did the transit commissioner say?"

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He wouldn't talk to me. What happened?

"He wouldn't talk to me. What happened?"

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Well, I walked straight into his office and sat down

"Well, I walked straight into his office and sat down"

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and said I would not leave

"and said I would not leave"

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until he gave us full access to the tunnel.

"until he gave us full access to the tunnel."

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And at what point did the security guards show up?

"And at what point did the security guards show up?"

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Oh, about two minutes later.

"Oh, about two minutes later."

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But before they got there, I grabbed this off his desk.

"But before they got there, I grabbed this off his desk."

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You stole the subway commissioner's tunnel pass?

"You stole the subway commissioner's tunnel pass?"

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I borrowed it. We'll mail it back when we're done. Now go.

"I borrowed it. We'll mail it back when we're done. Now go."

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Oh, no, this is not going to work. Why?

"Oh, no, this is not going to work. Why?"

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Well, for one thing, I'm not black.

"Well, for one thing, I'm not black."

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Let's not get bogged down with details, okay?

"Let's not get bogged down with details, okay?"

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Now, Beth, go to the booth,

"Now, Beth, go to the booth,"

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tell Lisa as soon as Matthew calls in

"tell Lisa as soon as Matthew calls in"

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to patch him-- What are these?

"to patch him-- What are these?"

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BETH: New desks.

"BETH: New desks."

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Where did these come from?

"Where did these come from?"

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Scandinavia. Thank you.

"Scandinavia. Thank you."

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I'm sorry about all that stuff

"I'm sorry about all that stuff"

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I've been saying behind your back today.

"I've been saying behind your back today."

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Good job, Dave.

"Good job, Dave."

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You really know how to keep those troops happy. I do?

"You really know how to keep those troops happy. I do?"

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Shh! Dave, I told them you ordered the desks for them.

"Shh! Dave, I told them you ordered the desks for them."

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I mean, that's the direction you were headed in, right?

"I mean, that's the direction you were headed in, right?"

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Mr. James, my office now, please.

"Mr. James, my office now, please."

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Coffee, Dave?

"Coffee, Dave?"

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Good job, Dave.

"Good job, Dave."

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It takes a big man to crumble under pressure so fast.

"It takes a big man to crumble under pressure so fast."

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Mr. James, this is really not how I wanted

"Mr. James, this is really not how I wanted"

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to handle this situation.

"to handle this situation."

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Why not?

"Why not?"

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Can't play favorites, right?

"Can't play favorites, right?"

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Got to treat everybody equally, right?

"Got to treat everybody equally, right?"

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I mean--

"I mean--"

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Mr. James, how I run this office is my business.

"Mr. James, how I run this office is my business."

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Now I have a staff that thinks

"Now I have a staff that thinks"

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if they complain enough about anything, I'll cave in,

"if they complain enough about anything, I'll cave in,"

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and that is not true.

"and that is not true."

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Now, I'm going to have to ask you

"Now, I'm going to have to ask you"

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to return those desks.

"to return those desks."

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Oh, I love the fire in your eyes.

"Oh, I love the fire in your eyes."

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Sir, if you ever come in here and undermine my authority--

"Sir, if you ever come in here and undermine my authority--"

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Easy, Dave. I don't love it that much.

"Easy, Dave. I don't love it that much."

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Anyway, you're going to have to handle this desk crisis

"Anyway, you're going to have to handle this desk crisis"

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by yourself.

"by yourself."

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I got to go.

"I got to go."

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Matthew, what are you doing here?

"Matthew, what are you doing here?"

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Shouldn't you be in the tunnel?

"Shouldn't you be in the tunnel?"

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Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

"Yeah, I know, I know, I know."

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I was headed downtown,

"I was headed downtown,"

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and I started thinking about things,

"and I started thinking about things,"

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and, oh, I just feel awful about this desk situation.

"and, oh, I just feel awful about this desk situation."

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Forget the desk.

"Forget the desk."

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You know, it's not even really about the desks, though.

"You know, it's not even really about the desks, though."

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It's about... I can't take the pressure

"It's about... I can't take the pressure"

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of everybody thinking that I'm your favorite or something.

"of everybody thinking that I'm your favorite or something."

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