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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Purple Giraffe (S01E01)

"Amanda? Oh, Denise, sorry. You totally sounded like Amanda."
How I Met Your Mother
"- It's Robin. - Oh, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hi. - I totally wanted to come,"
How I Met Your Mother
"I got stuck at work again. I feel like I live there."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry I missed your party, again."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, ain't no thing, but a chicken wing, mamacita,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Who am I?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I guess there's no chance your two-dayer turned into a three-dayer?"
How I Met Your Mother
"It did indeed. The party continues tonight."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, last night people were, like,"
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""Keep it going, bro! Party trifecta!""
How I Met Your Mother
"Wow, okay. Well, I'll be there."
How I Met Your Mother
"Great. See you tonight."
How I Met Your Mother
"So that was Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"So I threw a third party for Robin, on a Sunday night,"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, this is lame."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lame or casual?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Lame. - Or casual?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, law books. Ready for a little 15-minute recess?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry, baby, I gotta work. I need all my blood up here."
How I Met Your Mother
"Has anybody seen An Introduction to Contract, Tort"
How I Met Your Mother
"and Restitution Statutes from 1865 to 1923?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Anybody seen a big-ass book? - No."
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"Hello, Barney."
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"Of course."
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"You look well."
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"Is it weird they invited both of us?"
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"Who?"
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"Who invited you? No one even knows who you are."
How I Met Your Mother
"I understand you're hurt, but you don't have to be cruel."
How I Met Your Mother
"Carlos was right about you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Who is Carlos?"
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"Hey, where the hell is my..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"An Introduction to Contract, Tort and Restitution Statutes"
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"from 1865 to 1923"
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"is not a coaster!"
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"Ted, I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw not one,"
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"not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met"
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"who's probably not even gonna show up!"
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"I mean, where is she, Ted, huh? Where's Robin?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hi. Hi, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, you threw all these parties for me?"
How I Met Your Mother
"No. Oh, you thought that... No."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, yes. You got me."
How I Met Your Mother
"One of the reasons I threw these parties was so that I could introduce you"
How I Met Your Mother
"to this guy."
How I Met Your Mother
"I figured, you know, since it didn't work out between us"
How I Met Your Mother
"and now we can just laugh about it."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Well, anyway, Robin, this is... - Carlos."
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"She's still talking to Carlos."
How I Met Your Mother
"I can still win this. It's not over."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, buddy, time for the tough talk."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin seems great, but let's look at the facts."
How I Met Your Mother
"You want to get married"
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"and right now there's a million women in New York looking for exactly you."
How I Met Your Mother
"But Robin ain't one of them."
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"She's not just one of them. She's the one."
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"Yeah well, "the one" is heading up to the roof."
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"What are you gonna do?"
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"Nothing. It's a game. I gotta just"
How I Met Your Mother
"keep playing it."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- Carlos, can you give us a minute? - Hey, no sweat, hombre,"
How I Met Your Mother
"See you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin, look, I didn't throw this party to set you up with Carlos"
How I Met Your Mother
"or the one before that, or the one before that."
How I Met Your Mother
"I threw these parties because I wanted to see you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, here I am."
How I Met Your Mother
"There's something here. Look, unless I'm crazy."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're not crazy."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't know, Ted. I mean, we barely know each other"
How I Met Your Mother
"and you're looking at me with that look and it's like..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What, like what? - It's like, "Let's fall in love,"
How I Met Your Mother
""and get married and have kids and drive them to soccer practice.""
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm not gonna force sports on them unless they're interested."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's a great look, but you're looking at the wrong girl."
How I Met Your Mother
"- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't want to get married right now, maybe ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"And if we go out together, I'd feel like"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd either have to marry you or break your heart"
How I Met Your Mother
"and I just couldn't do either of those things."
How I Met Your Mother
"Just like you can't turn off the way you feel."
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"Click."
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"Off. Let's make out."
How I Met Your Mother
"What?"
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"What? That was the off switch and I turned it off."
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, look, sure, yes, I wanna"
How I Met Your Mother
"fall in love, get married, blah, blah, blah. But, on the other hand,"
How I Met Your Mother
"you, me,"
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"the roof."
How I Met Your Mother
"- There's no off switch. - There is an off switch."
How I Met Your Mother
"And it's off."
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"No, it's not."
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"Yes, it is."
How I Met Your Mother
"- No, it's not. - Yes,"
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"it is."
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"Oh."
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"No, it's not."
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"You're right. There's no off switch."
How I Met Your Mother
"- God, I wish there was an off switch. - Me, too."
How I Met Your Mother
"- God, I wish there was an off switch. - Me, too."
How I Met Your Mother
"So..."
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"What do we do now?"
How I Met Your Mother
"We could be friends."
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, I know it sounds insincere when people say that"
How I Met Your Mother
"but we could."
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"I don't know, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"I made such a jackass of myself here,"
How I Met Your Mother
"we start hanging out, every time I see you, it'll be like,"
How I Met Your Mother
""Oh, that's right, I'm a jackass.""
How I Met Your Mother
"You're not a jackass."
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"Look, I'm sorry. I only moved here in April, and I'm always working."
How I Met Your Mother
"And I just haven't met a lot of good people so far."
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"But I understand."
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"Well,"
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"maybe in a few months after it's not so fresh we could all,"
How I Met Your Mother
"you know, get a beer."
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"Yeah. That sounds good."
How I Met Your Mother
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