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Clips from The Great North - Keep Beef-Lievin' Adventure (S01E01)

"Yeah! If he enjoys a rigorous Alaskan workday,"
The Great North
"then maybe this is the place for him."
The Great North
"Totally. Hey, we really need to get our heads out of here now"
The Great North
"because I am definitely about to fart"
The Great North
"and it's not gonna smell like toffee."
The Great North
"Ditto, babe."
The Great North
"Was that me or you?"
The Great North
"It was us, my love."
The Great North
"Good morning, Moon."
The Great North
"I'm guessing I don't owe you an apology."
The Great North
"I still think Bigfoot is real,"
The Great North
"and I'm probably going to catch him tonight."
The Great North
"Or you're just gonna catch your own butt,"
The Great North
"because Bigfoot isn't real and only little kids think he is."
The Great North
"I'm not the only one that believes in Bigfoot."
The Great North
"These guys do, too. Right, guys?"
The Great North
"I mean... not really."
The Great North
"But what about our Bigfoot Adventurers Club?"
The Great North
"Moon, we were nine when we started that club."
The Great North
"Most of us are ten now."
The Great North
"Smell you later, Bigfoot Hunter."
The Great North
"Okay, well, as long as we're being honest with each other,"
The Great North
"Henry, WWE is absolutely fake,"
The Great North
"and, Russell, we know Fred Savage isn't your first cousin!"
The Great North
"He is! He sent me his headshot."
The Great North
"Jerrybee."
The Great North
"What's happening?"
The Great North
"Ooh, did they announce the new Bachelor?"
The Great North
"Come on. We're going to show you a day in Alaska."
The Great North
"That's an awful long face, son."
The Great North
"You sure you're not part horse?"
The Great North
"Sorry, I promise you're not part horse."
The Great North
"That's a terrible seed to plant in a child's mind."
The Great North
"Dad, I really thought I had Bigfoot this time."
The Great North
"I mean, the crackers, the footprints, the fur."
The Great North
"But then it occurred to me that I've thought"
The Great North
"I had Bigfoot many times before."
The Great North
"I'm starting to think that Bigfoot truly doesn't exist."
The Great North
"I see."
The Great North
"Also, Debbie Gladu says that Bigfoot is for little kids."
The Great North
"Little kids? Well, sure it's for little kids."
The Great North
"Bigfoot is for all ages,"
The Great North
"from the elderly all the way down to babies."
The Great North
"Uh‐oh. You two talking birds and bees?"
The Great North
"Here's a tip. There aren't as many"
The Great North
"actual birds involved as one might think."
The Great North
"No. Moon received my straightforward,"
The Great North
"handwritten birds and bees pamphlet when he turned eight,"
The Great North
"just like all Tobin children."
The Great North
"Your brother was just telling me"
The Great North
"he's having some doubts about Bigfoot."
The Great North
"You mean like whether or not the snow‐colored Sasquatch"
The Great North
"and his brown‐haired Bigfoot brethren"
The Great North
"are the exact same species?"
The Great North
"Personally, I think they are."
The Great North
"I'm going to my room to stare out the window."
The Great North
"Okay, son. Have fun."
The Great North
"Wow. He's even more serious than usual."
The Great North
"He's wrestling with that existential question"
The Great North
"that plagues every adolescent Alaskan kid:"
The Great North
"Does Bigfoot really exist?"
The Great North
"Oh, yeah. I mean, I know realistically"
The Great North
"Bigfoot probably doesn't exist, but..."
The Great North
"What if? It's very hard to discount the "what if.""
The Great North
"Dad, what if we took Moon to the VFW Lodge this evening"
The Great North
"and introduced him to some of the Old Faithfuls?"
The Great North
"We'll try it, and if all else fails,"
The Great North
"they do have Sprite and Windows 95 at the lodge."
The Great North
"We can watch the star travel screensaver."
The Great North
"It's very inspiring."
The Great North
"- How you doing, Jer? Great job today. - Yeah, bud."
The Great North
"‐ ‐Oh, man."
The Great North
"- What time is it? - 6:30."
The Great North
"Alaska one, Jerry zero."
The Great North
"Yeah, looks like Mother Alaska really trampled his tater tots."
The Great North
"- I'd love him to live here. - Yeah, me, too."
The Great North
"But I'm afraid he's not cut out for it."
The Great North
"Well, you're doing him a favor"
The Great North
"letting him figure this out on his own."
The Great North
"Let's untangle him and get him off to dreamland."
The Great North
"Look around, son."
The Great North
"This is a group of folks"
The Great North
"who are true believers in Bigfoot."
The Great North
"See how the Sasquatch is blurry but the tree remains clear?"
The Great North
"That means he is traveling anywhere"
The Great North
"between 20 to 100 miles an hour."
The Great North
"And that's just based on estimates."
The Great North
"Whose estimates? Mr. Make Believe P. Lies A Lot?"
The Great North
"And now Glynis will demonstrate the peculiar gait"
The Great North
"of the Sasquatch she spotted near Roberta Lake"
The Great North
"using a marionette she built by hand."
The Great North
"Handmade puppets?! Oh! Come on, let's get closer."
The Great North
"- Hmm. - That's a Sasquatch."
The Great North
"Interesting."
The Great North
"Excuse me. I couldn't help noticing."
The Great North
"Sturdy frame, glint in the eye."
The Great North
"What is happening?"
The Great North
"Ah, my apologies. I'm Hayward Melm,"
The Great North
"interim vice‐secretary of the Old Faithfuls."
The Great North
"We're looking for someone to don our Bigfoot costume"
The Great North
"for the upcoming SquatchCon."
The Great North
"It was donated to us by a minor league hockey team,"
The Great North
"so it's not quite as realistic‐looking as we'd like."
The Great North
"We need someone with great gusto to really sell it."
The Great North
"Are you interested?"
The Great North
"I would absolutely be not interested in doing that."
The Great North
"Some folks get carsick. I get costume sick."
The Great North
"I wore one once and threw up so much in a Yogi Bear head"
The Great North
"that I almost drowned."
The Great North
"Here's my card since it sounds like you're on the fence."
The Great North
"Um, Dad, there's a thing happening."
The Great North
"But we've all seen it!"
The Great North
"You don't need a photo"
The Great North
"when you have multiple eyewitness testimonies!"
The Great North
"On the contrary, eyewitness testimony"
The Great North
"has been scientifically proven unsound."
The Great North
"But you can't argue with the eyes!"
The Great North
"Human memory and perception"
The Great North
"are consistently unreliable."
The Great North
"Please, Beef, you really must remove Moon from here."
The Great North
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