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Clips from Weeds - Release the Hounds (S03E03)

"We must be long-lost twins."
Weeds
"I have those same earrings at home."
Weeds
"They're nice."
Weeds
"How's... How's Tim doing?"
Weeds
"How do you think he's doing? His father's dead."
Weeds
"I have boys, too. Two boys. Dead father."
Weeds
"Heart attack, though, not, well, however Peter died."
Weeds
"Is Tim seeing a grief counsellor?"
Weeds
"Shane went. I don't know if it did anything."
Weeds
"- I guess time and... - You know, this is my break,"
Weeds
"and you are not my friend, so why am I sitting here?"
Weeds
"Don't you want to talk about Peter?"
Weeds
"Not with some random woman he was fucking, who my son hates."
Weeds
"You know, I used to think that it was because he wanted Peter and me to reconcile,"
Weeds
"but now I'm thinking it's because you're a crazy, stalker, narcissist whack job."
Weeds
"I started sketching again."
Weeds
"Jesus, I do sound nuts."
Weeds
"I'm not."
Weeds
"You're right, this is all ridiculous."
Weeds
"I don't know what I expected. I'm sorry."
Weeds
"Nice meeting you. Even though you are kind of a bitch."
Weeds
"Bye."
Weeds
"Here. You can throw it away if you want, OK? Bye."
Weeds
"I have two questions. One, why isn't the air conditioning on?"
Weeds
"I don't think it's working."
Weeds
"OK. And, Shane, can I play brick breaker on this thing?"
Weeds
"Those are for business purposes only."
Weeds
"Sanjay, your territories are junior colleges, trade schools..."
Weeds
"And gay bars and dance clubs, cos I'm a faggot."
Weeds
"I can call myself that, but you can't, cos I'm gay and you're not."
Weeds
"- I'm not ashamed. This is who I am. - Good for you."
Weeds
"I'll sell to anyone cool who wants some weed. I'm flexy."
Weeds
"Don't be too flexy. We start with people we've dealt to before"
Weeds
"and only expand when a customer has been vouched for."
Weeds
"You're forgetting one key territory."
Weeds
"- Hi, Silas. I'm gay. - You can get help for that."
Weeds
"Oh, I know. This guy Stewart's been really helping me. Stewart's the best."
Weeds
"Silas, why don't we talk about this after Tara goes home?"
Weeds
"This is about Tara. Hear me out."
Weeds
"Tara is completely active in the Church, and they have, like, 10,000 members."
Weeds
"It's a totally untapped market."
Weeds
"They say when Christ was anointed with oil by John the Baptist, it was cannabis oil."
Weeds
"Wow, that sounds hot."
Weeds
"The Lord wants me to sell pot, Mrs. Botwin."
Weeds
"- Really? - Yes."
Weeds
"And he also wants me to buy a new BMW. Preferably the convertible."
Weeds
"The good Christian people of Majestic like to get baked."
Weeds
"That explains so much."
Weeds
"Shane, would you get that, please?"
Weeds
"So, am I in? I promise I'm gonna be your number-one sales person."
Weeds
"- Straight commission. - Fine."
Weeds
"Never say where you get your product."
Weeds
"You realise you're doing something illegal?"
Weeds
"I answer to a much higher authority."
Weeds
"Fine, you're in."
Weeds
"Do I get a cell phone, too?"
Weeds
"- Take Silas'. - What?"
Weeds
"Then how am I supposed to cover my territory?"
Weeds
"Delivery requires discretion, which you clearly lack."
Weeds
"I'm gonna think of something else for you to do."
Weeds
"Someone named Valerie is here. She says she wants to talk to you."
Weeds
"What am I doing here?"
Weeds
"Erm..."
Weeds
"I wanted to apologise for acting like an asshole."
Weeds
"No, that was fair."
Weeds
"I mean, I did stalk you."
Weeds
"Tim's in the car. I got your address from your mammogram papers, drove over."
Weeds
"Drove by the house a few times."
Weeds
"Your neighbour on the corner is really into gnomes, huh?"
Weeds
"- Did you call before and hang up? - Twice."
Weeds
"- Crazy stalker person. - Call it even?"
Weeds
"No, I'm having you arrested. Restraining order, the whole thing."
Weeds
"Little shit. All right, look, I got you this."
Weeds
"It's a bath bomb. Effervescent."
Weeds
"My advice is to let it bubble between your legs."
Weeds
"The carbonation effect, it's really enjoyable."
Weeds
"And it smells nice."
Weeds
"- Thanks... - Just take it. I'm an over-gifter."
Weeds
"- Not a big deal. - Oh, well..."
Weeds
"I'm gonna go."
Weeds
"Thanks for the bath thing."
Weeds
"Oh, and your boobs are fine. Benign."
Weeds
"Fine and benign."
Weeds
"Aren't you glad I'm not a proctologist?"
Weeds
"Well, you have short fingernails but a lot of anger, so..."
Weeds
"OK, I'm gonna go smack my kid and take him to the shrink."
Weeds
"Oh, hey, erm..."
Weeds
"Are you free for dinner tomorrow?"
Weeds
"The referendum will pass."
Weeds
"- I'm tense. - Ooh, you want a massage?"
Weeds
"Yes."
Weeds
"In Maui. A week in Wailea with you when this is all over."
Weeds
"- What do you say? - I say I'm one lucky girl."
Weeds
"Hello."
Weeds
"Isabelle."
Weeds
"How in the hell should I know where he is?"
Weeds
"Have you tried his cell phone?"
Weeds
"Well, maybe you should call child protective services."
Weeds
"No, I'm sure he's fine. God protects the stupid."
Weeds
"I'm not feeling any cold air. I think it's broken."
Weeds
"OK, when a customer calls into the computer database,"
Weeds
"- He or she types in a client ID number. - It's not working."
Weeds
"You haven't even tried it."
Weeds
"No, the air conditioning. I don't think it's working."
Weeds
"- OK, we need to talk. - Bet your ass we do."
Weeds
"Where's Tara?"
Weeds
"At her youth group. She's coming by later."
Weeds
"I'm in the middle of explaining this to you."
Weeds
"Praying that when the time comes, they'll have a BMW in the colour she wants?"
Weeds
"- What's your problem? - I guess we'll go over it later."
Weeds
"Honey, I'm sorry. Go eat some cake or watch YouTube or something."
Weeds
"Were you trying to impress her?"
Weeds
"The bad-boy drug dealer who drives all the good girls wild?"
Weeds
"It's not like that. She is totally, totally trustworthy."
Weeds
"And you would know this how? You met her three weeks ago."
Weeds
"In your 17 years on Earth"
Weeds
"you've gained such great insight and wisdom into people?"
Weeds
"- She's gonna make a lot of money for us. - We know nothing about her"
Weeds
"except that she's a fundamentalist who likes to smoke pot."
Weeds
"That does not inspire me with confidence."
Weeds
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