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Clips from Weeds - I Am the Table (S04E04)

"She was my masterpiece. Six months of injections..."
Weeds
"...I took her from 1 30 to 21 5 with a BMl of 18.6."
Weeds
"She was two weeks away from an Adam's apple."
Weeds
"- There'll be others. - Not like Hope."
Weeds
"Sometimes after making love, she'd dead-lift me."
Weeds
"Now, that's one of a kind."
Weeds
"Anyway...."
Weeds
"This is Desert Eagle, heading back to HQ."
Weeds
"Here we go."
Weeds
"I will lead you now."
Weeds
"You shall be a free people."
Weeds
"Good idea. No time to waste. Yup."
Weeds
"Lady Liberty beckons."
Weeds
"This is Big and Tall, Checkpoint 5."
Weeds
"Not a bean on the tortilla. I repeat, not a bean on the tortilla."
Weeds
"All clear. No spic, just span. Over."
Weeds
"Davenport."
Weeds
"Welcome to America. Happy days. Have you seen this girl?"
Weeds
"Anybody? Nice to have you here."
Weeds
"You seen her? Maria? No? Maria? Nothing?"
Weeds
"We did it, man."
Weeds
"- We sure did. - We did it."
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"- What do we do with them now? - No idea."
Weeds
"So you are not a lesbian?"
Weeds
"Around Guillermo, I am."
Weeds
"Made it easier to be friends when we were friends."
Weeds
"Before he wanted to kill me in front of my children."
Weeds
"Don't worry. It is fixed."
Weeds
"Oh, you do not need a menu."
Weeds
"You order what you like. Julio will make it."
Weeds
"And if he can't, he'll find it."
Weeds
"- Order anything. - Elk."
Weeds
"Oh, wait, wait. I'm kidding."
Weeds
"Make the best thing that you make."
Weeds
"Look at you, your sway."
Weeds
"Yes. It is like you're out with the mayor."
Weeds
"Much like that."
Weeds
"I have to pee."
Weeds
"Holy shit."
Weeds
"Our food might take a little while."
Weeds
"- Do you have any Neosporin? - Neosporin."
Weeds
"Twizzlers, some tampons."
Weeds
"I might have a Tide stick."
Weeds
"Sit. Sit down."
Weeds
"- Maybe we should go out for Chinese. - Sit."
Weeds
"Sit."
Weeds
"You never sipped from your beer, after you toasted the crowd."
Weeds
"- That's very bad luck. - I don't like to drink from the bottle."
Weeds
"Clearly, that's not your issue."
Weeds
"Not my issue. But then, I have trouble breathing after I've been shot at..."
Weeds
"...which clearly you don't, so I guess we all have our things."
Weeds
"Another school, another first day. Another sweaty glass of social stigma."
Weeds
"We're interesting and worthwhile people."
Weeds
"Yeah, well. If only life were a Judd Apatow movie..."
Weeds
"...where geeks rule the world..."
Weeds
"...but it's not, so let's just suck it up."
Weeds
"- Chip? - No, thanks."
Weeds
"Hey, who's the king of the school?"
Weeds
"The most popular, most athletic, most often-laid guy here?"
Weeds
"Well, my guess is it's Dan. Everyone wants to be friends with Dan."
Weeds
"- Hi, I'm Shane. - Hey. Hi, I'm Dan."
Weeds
"Don't fuck with me."
Weeds
"Medium, large, large, small, petite."
Weeds
"Petite maternity."
Weeds
"Excuse me. Sorry. Hi."
Weeds
"Do you have this in blue?"
Weeds
"Nice choice."
Weeds
"I will ring you up over here."
Weeds
"Forty-two, ninety-nine, please."
Weeds
"Do you want the box? In a bag? The box in a bag?"
Weeds
"- I actually just want it in blue. - Oh, well, why didn't you say so?"
Weeds
"Oh, I'm sorry. I've already checked the racks."
Weeds
"- Can you just check in the back for me? - Good idea."
Weeds
"Soccer shoe. Soccer shoe."
Weeds
"Goal."
Weeds
"- So? - So, what?"
Weeds
"Do you have it in blue?"
Weeds
"Just get it in green. Come on."
Weeds
"- Come on. Come on. - But I --"
Weeds
"Green is the color of spring"
Weeds
"Who's next? Let's go."
Weeds
"Think maybe they wanna close up? We've been here a while."
Weeds
"When I finish my coffee, we'll go."
Weeds
"Who was trying to kill you?"
Weeds
"Maybe the MZO."
Weeds
"Maybe the Mexicate."
Weeds
"Let me guess. You're the hot sauce?"
Weeds
"I am the table."
Weeds
"- How often do people shoot at you? - Mostly shoot at each other."
Weeds
"- And the occasional bystander. - I cannot control the streets."
Weeds
"Streets that provide the latest in mobile health care."
Weeds
"My success in business allows me to give back to the community."
Weeds
"Take a little blood. Give a little blood."
Weeds
"You question my motives?"
Weeds
"Soothing your conscience at the expense of others."
Weeds
"You question my motives."
Weeds
"You're bleeding again. It's your --"
Weeds
"- I'm okay. I'm okay. - Here."
Weeds
"Maybe if you put it under your pillow, you get a dollar from the shrapnel fairy."
Weeds
"Well, it's part of the job."
Weeds
"People see you're afraid, they do not vote for you."
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"- Nothing scares you? - Nothing."
Weeds
"That's a lie. You're afraid of dirty beer bottles."
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"I'm not afraid. Just don't like them."
Weeds
"- Snakes? - Fine with snakes."
Weeds
"- Failure? - Not a problem."
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"Heights."
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"Are you afraid of heights?"
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"Yep."
Weeds
"What are you afraid of?"
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"- Calm. - Before the storm?"
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"The storm I can weather."
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"Come with me."
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"Okay."
Weeds
"Sure you're gonna be okay?"
Weeds
"Lake Davenport, Florida."
Weeds
"Big fish. Lobster Boy. Jeb Bush."
Weeds
"I'm gonna miss you."
Weeds
"You were right. This is a great business."
Weeds
"- Helping the unfortunate. - Unlimited customer base."
Weeds
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