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Clips from Family Guy - Candy, Quahog Marshmallow (S14E14)

"♪ It seems today that all you see ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪"
Family Guy
"Where are you going?"
Family Guy
"I'm going to Quagmire's to get some hand-me-downs."
Family Guy
"His dad-mom sent over some boxes of men's clothes"
Family Guy
"from back before the ol' chippety-choppety."
Family Guy
"(groans) You shouldn't wear people's old, dirty clothes."
Family Guy
"Well, I'm a dirty guy, Lois."
Family Guy
"Haven't you ever seen my naughty,"
Family Guy
"late-night, party-line commercials?"
Family Guy
"Hey, are you lonely?"
Family Guy
"Do you like to party with hot girls?"
Family Guy
"What about horsing around with fat guys?"
Family Guy
"Well, what are you waiting for?"
Family Guy
"Give us a call."
Family Guy
"I'll be on the toilet, wearing a T-shirt"
Family Guy
"that's so long I have to hold it"
Family Guy
"under my chin while I wipe."
Family Guy
"Wow, your dad doesn't use this Dickie anymore?"
Family Guy
"That's crazy."
Family Guy
"Why would anyone get rid of a perfectly good Dickie?"
Family Guy
"I see what you're doing, and cut it out."
Family Guy
"Hey, what are these?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, I haven't seen these in years!"
Family Guy
"What do you got there?"
Family Guy
"Some kind of home movie from the Orient?"
Family Guy
"No, no, this is Winter Summer."
Family Guy
"It was a Korean soap opera that I was in."
Family Guy
"You were in a Korean soap opera?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, back when the Navy had me stationed in Busan,"
Family Guy
"I saw an ad in the paper for guys over five-foot-four,"
Family Guy
"and I was the only one who showed up."
Family Guy
"Next thing I know, I'm on TV,"
Family Guy
"playing a guy named American Johnny."
Family Guy
"Wow, I didn't even know you could act."
Family Guy
"You also didn't know I was a rock polisher."
Family Guy
"Take a look at that."
Family Guy
"Oh, my! What is that?"
Family Guy
"That's tiger eye."
Family Guy
"Extraordinary."
Family Guy
"(singing in Korean)"
Family Guy
"Holy crap, Quagmire, you speak Korean?"
Family Guy
"Nah, not really."
Family Guy
"They just told me how to sound the words out phonetically."
Family Guy
"So you never knew what you were actually saying?"
Family Guy
"No. In fact, at the height of the show,"
Family Guy
"I did a whole pro-genital-mutilation PSA"
Family Guy
"that I really regret."
Family Guy
"Wow, that girl's hot."
Family Guy
"That's a guy."
Family Guy
"That other guy's handsome."
Family Guy
"That's a girl."
Family Guy
"That cat is cute."
Family Guy
"That's a dog."
Family Guy
"What is everything?!"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, if Hee-Sun and Bong-Hwa"
Family Guy
"don't get together, I'm gonna kill myself!"
Family Guy
"You're crazy!"
Family Guy
"Bong-Hwa is completely dishonorable!"
Family Guy
"He brought a personal item to work!"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! No way!"
Family Guy
"I told you! I told you!"
Family Guy
"Wow, I guess he didn't die in the vending machine."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"What?! It's over?!"
Family Guy
"Should we put in the next one?"
Family Guy
"Of course we should."
Family Guy
"We are binge-watching this whole show."
Family Guy
"I mean, I haven't been this into something"
Family Guy
"since The Shawshank Redemption."
Family Guy
"Yes, um, after you escaped into the hole,"
Family Guy
"how did you perfectly re-attach the Raquel Welch poster"
Family Guy
"from inside the hole with a tautness"
Family Guy
"that a rock could pierce?"
Family Guy
"Does it really matter?"
Family Guy
"It does to me."
Family Guy
"Did you even like the movie?"
Family Guy
"I did very much up until that point."
Family Guy
"(tires screeching)"
Family Guy
"(crowd screaming, clamoring)"
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Quagmire, give me the last tape!"
Family Guy
"Huh. Sorry, guys."
Family Guy
"There are no more tapes."
Family Guy
"What?! Where's the last one?!"
Family Guy
"He's right."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! What do we do?!"
Family Guy
"Quagmire, tell us what happened!"
Family Guy
"Did Hee-Sun live to have the baby?!"
Family Guy
"Did Kim secure a position at the hydroelectric plant?!"
Family Guy
"I don't know. I don't remember."
Family Guy
"How can you not remember?"
Family Guy
"It was 20 years ago."
Family Guy
"We shot out of order."
Family Guy
"I-I never even knew what I was saying."
Family Guy
"I didn't care. I was living the life."
Family Guy
"Just banging chicks and eating cabbage, you know."
Family Guy
"Aw, crap, what do we do about our show?"
Family Guy
"Now I know how that German movie producer felt."
Family Guy
"All right, Friedrich, now that World War Two is over,"
Family Guy
"we can get back to making comedies again."
Family Guy
"Get me these comedy writers."
Family Guy
"Uh... I don't think any of these guys are available."
Family Guy
"What?! This is terrible!"
Family Guy
"Get me my agent!"
Family Guy
"He's, uh, he's probably not gonna answer either."
Family Guy
"Well, this is crazy! What happened...?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I remember what happened."
Family Guy
"That episode's not online anywhere."
Family Guy
"I even tried the Korean search engine Bing Bong."
Family Guy
"That's not real."
Family Guy
"All right, it's not, but, Quagmire,"
Family Guy
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