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Clips from Arrested Development - Missing Kitty (S01E01)

"Incredibly stupid. It's like we're making naughty sex even naughtier."
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"Oh, no. I was supposed to be at the prison to talk to my dad a half an hour ago."
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"Oh, this is bad. This is really bad."
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"This is the second most unethical thing I've ever done."
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"- We cannot pretend that this didn't happen, Maggie. - Or that it won't happen again."
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"- You think it's gonna happen again? - You tell me."
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"- Let's just assume that it will happen again at some time. - Right. Right."
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"We just need to, you know, acknowledge this and keep it private..."
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"- and I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. - Right."
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"I have a job, you know? I'm trying to keep a man in prison."
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"Right. And that man happens to be my father."
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"- This could get ugly. - Well, it's like the Ten Commandments saying."
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"- Be true to thine own self, and to thine own self... - Be true. Yeah."
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"- Number seven. - We'll just have to keep it a secret."
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"- Our secret. - Our dirty little secret."
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"- I think I'm ready now. - All right."
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"Okay."
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"Thirty-two minutes earlier, Gob, Lucille and Barry met with George Sr."
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"- Where did you get this? - They don't call me a sleight-of-hand artist for nothing."
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"Gob had switched out the file while his siblings discussed the Ten Commandments."
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"I've always been very passionate about the separation of church and state."
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"- What are you gonna do with them? - Give 'em to a school."
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"Can we let another family bring down the Ten Commandments?"
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"Now you love the Ten Commandments."
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"Apparently, there are boxes of it at the prosecutor's house."
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"I tracked down the address, and you should be thanking me for this."
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"Michael didn't want you to have it. Mr. Moral."
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"Mm. Yeah, we did something right there, huh?"
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"- So what do you think, Barry? - l-I haven't read it."
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"I had a really interesting date last night."
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"A woman who actually works two jobs."
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"Well, it certainly looks like they've got a lot on us."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Uh, you. I was raising the children."
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"When was the last time you raised children?"
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"Excuse me? I've got two in the waiting room right this moment."
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"In fact, Buster and Annyong..."
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"Lucille's newly adopted Korean child, were waiting."
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"Wow. I wonder what they're talking about in there?"
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"- They don't tell you anything, huh? - They tell me things."
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"It doesn't matter though, because Dad is gonna be in here a long time."
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"No. We have court day today."
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"They take plea. Daddy come home. You out."
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"Annyong had hit a nerve, and Buster recalled..."
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"that right before George Sr. 's arrest, he'd made a similar threat."
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"I said he could wear that tie. It looks better on him."
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"- No, no. Let me help you with that, son. - Oh."
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"Hey, enjoy yourself tonight, because you are out of here."
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"I'm not gonna spend my retirement watching you wipe your nose on your sleeve."
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"- I can't breathe, Dad. - Neither can I."
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"I haven't seen half this stuff..."
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"but they've got these kind of documents, uh, we've gotta get rid of this."
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"If you're thinking of stealing the evidence, that is a very big offense."
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"l-I think I'm gonna say that I signed myself out about 10 minutes ago."
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"You're right. You can't afford to get caught."
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"I don't need my lawyer in prison. We'll have Gob break in."
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"Well, gee, Dad, I've got a wife now."
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"I don't think that I can afford to get caught either."
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"Good point. You might want to change out of that sweater."
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"Tell me again why this isn't wrong."
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"Look. We are just... we're two adults. We've got absolutely nothing..."
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"- Cops. Hide. - Ms. Lizer."
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"- It's Officer Kelley. - Oh, hi."
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"Your office has asked me to come pick you up. It's a surprise."
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"- I just winked. It's a surprise witness. - Oh, great."
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"- Um... - How are we doing?"
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"I'll just put my dog inside, and then I will be right with you."
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"I'll take the dog, okay? I've already missed my meeting. You go ahead."
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"- Just put him through the doggy door. - Okay."
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"- And, uh, I'll see you in court. - Yeah."
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"- My dad's not gonna put himself in prison for life. - Yeah."
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"- Bye. Kiss. - Oh."
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"And Gob decided to pass offhis break-in assignment to Tobias."
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"Hey, there's the cat. Sorry you couldn't have been down at the prison with us."
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"- Dad was asking all about you. - Oh. I doubt that very much."
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"Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. He feels you've been sucking off this family far too long."
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"If you don't start pulling your weight around here, it's gonna be shape up or ship up."
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"You know, try as I might, I cannot seem to impress that man."
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"Isn't that funny... ... I'm about to knock his socks off again."
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"Yeah, I'm gonna break into this house that's got a bunch of evidence in it."
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"just to borrow it. Ensure his freedom forever."
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"But, it's a tough job. Might require some agility."
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"But, it's a tough job. Might require some agility."
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"This kind of agility?"
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"Let's go, little man."
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"Michael, meanwhile, had decided to see what life in Maggie's world was like."
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"All right. Okay."
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"All right. Okay."
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"- Okay. - This guy's the real deal. He's on the inside."
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"- But, he's got some demands. - This could be the break we wanted."
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"- This is District Attorney Lizer. - All right. What do you want?"
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"Uh, l-I want immunity for me and my mom..."
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"and I want my dad to stay in prison."
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"- Also, can you send Annyong back to Korea? - Huh?"
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"- Hey! - Justice!"
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"Meanwhile, Maggie's interrogation of Buster was proving fruitless."
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"Do you know anything about your father's trips overseas?"
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"I knew I'd have a fun time at home alone with Mom."
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"Fine. Did you ever see him return from these trips..."
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"- with anything unusual? - Yeah."
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"He came back home once with a black statue..."
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"with an erect penis."
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"It stayed in our living room until my aunt objected."
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"What about business associates?"
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"- I have none. - All right."
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"This guy's wasting our time. Take away his grilled cheese."
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"Wait, wait, wait, wait."
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"If it's evidence you want, I know where they keep it. According to my brother..."
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"there are boxes of evidence in a house on Scenic View Drive."
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"- Isn't that where you live? - Yeah."
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"And I'm headed there now."
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"Tobias, meanwhile, had used his catlike agility..."
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"- to get the evidence at Maggie's house. - The cat is in."
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"Unfortunately, it was just as Maggie came home."
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"Is there someone here?"
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"Tobias, concerned about Maggie's heightened sense of smell..."
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"set off to cloak himself in her scent."
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"- And Michael was at the vet's office. - Justice is fine."
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"- Great. - Although, dressing him up like a seeing-eye dog..."
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"- seems a little cruel. - Cruel?"
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"Well, yeah, because he can't see."
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