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Clips from Family Guy - Stewie's First Word (S19E19)

"Yikes."
Family Guy
"Peter, when did you become so polite?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I've been hanging out with Caillou's beta dad."
Family Guy
"In fact, I'm meeting him at the park"
Family Guy
"to eat unsalted saltines on the swings."
Family Guy
"I feel like you're wearing"
Family Guy
"what Rachel Maddow would wear to a pumpkin patch."
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: Lois couldn't find the swearer,"
Family Guy
"nor could she remove the voice"
Family Guy
"of the grating Caillou narrator from her head."
Family Guy
"Make it stop!"
Family Guy
"Not until you kill them all, Lois."
Family Guy
"Oh, crap."
Family Guy
"It's the lady with the baby who cussed."
Family Guy
"- (lock clicks) - MAN: Turn out the lights."
Family Guy
"Shh. Quiet, quiet."
Family Guy
"H‐Hello?"
Family Guy
"Hello! I know you're in there!"
Family Guy
"MAN 2: We're closed!"
Family Guy
"I know you're not closed."
Family Guy
"I see the Instacart people in there"
Family Guy
"emotionlessly filling up their baskets."
Family Guy
"MAN: We're a family establishment,"
Family Guy
"so take your foul‐mouthed baby and go away!"
Family Guy
"Please, let me in!"
Family Guy
"I can only poop behind a punch‐code door!"
Family Guy
"There's something about the beeps."
Family Guy
"It gets things moving!"
Family Guy
"It's very secure!"
Family Guy
"MAN 2: Go away!"
Family Guy
"You can't do this!"
Family Guy
"When a mom is shunned by groceries,"
Family Guy
"she has nothing! (crying)"
Family Guy
"Please!"
Family Guy
"Aah! It's those antibacterial wipes for the shopping carts!"
Family Guy
"It's burning my eyes!"
Family Guy
"(bleep)!"
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God."
Family Guy
"I‐It's me."
Family Guy
"I'm the swearer."
Family Guy
"(sobbing): Oh, God."
Family Guy
"I'm ruining my child!"
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: Lois was sad,"
Family Guy
"but not as sad as she was going to be"
Family Guy
"when she realizes she has to use those ouchie wipes"
Family Guy
"to make a potty next to the store dumpster."
Family Guy
"I feel so awful."
Family Guy
"I've corrupted my baby"
Family Guy
"with my foul language and my terrible anger."
Family Guy
"I'm so sorry that happened, Lois."
Family Guy
"And Lofthouse cookies weren't available"
Family Guy
"at any other grocery store?"
Family Guy
"Don't worry, Dad. I Instacarted some."
Family Guy
"(knocking)"
Family Guy
"Here's your stuff."
Family Guy
"Thank you. Have a good night."
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"Anyway, the point is"
Family Guy
"I have to deal with my anger and fix myself."
Family Guy
"So I've decided to attend this relaxation retreat"
Family Guy
"at Vista del Vista Resort."
Family Guy
"Uh, gosh, I don't know about that, Lois."
Family Guy
"It sounds really expensive."
Family Guy
"(sighs) No, I guess you're right."
Family Guy
"There's no way we can afford it."
Family Guy
"Plus, if I go, that means I won't be here"
Family Guy
"to help out around the house or feed you guys"
Family Guy
"or monitor your Internet usage every day..."
Family Guy
"- You should go. - Yeah, Mom,"
Family Guy
"you should go, for sure."
Family Guy
"(upbeat music playing)"
Family Guy
"Because they want to masturbate, you see."
Family Guy
"Okay."
Family Guy
"Uh, I don't know what that was,"
Family Guy
"but, Lois, you should go to that resort."
Family Guy
"Go relax and fix yourself."
Family Guy
"(gasps) Really?"
Family Guy
"You guys'll be okay while I'm gone?"
Family Guy
"Sure. We'll have fun!"
Family Guy
"Just like that time me and Chris went Jet Ski'ing."
Family Guy
"Yeah! This is awesome!"
Family Guy
"I know, right?"
Family Guy
"(dolphin squeaks)"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"It's okay, Chris."
Family Guy
"I'm sure that was the only one."
Family Guy
"Dolphins swim alone."
Family Guy
"(squeaking)"
Family Guy
"Okay, maybe we should turn back."
Family Guy
"No."
Family Guy
"Kill every last one of them."
Family Guy
"PETER: Chris and I never spoke of that day."
Family Guy
"But whenever somebody talks about how smart dolphins are,"
Family Guy
"Chris and I look at each other like,"
Family Guy
""No.""
Family Guy
"("Ac‐Cent‐Tchu‐Ate the Positive" playing)"
Family Guy
"♪ You got to ac‐cent‐tchu‐ate the positive ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ E‐lim‐I‐nate the negative ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ And latch on ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ To the affirmative. ♪"
Family Guy
"Lois Griffin? My name is Roger,"
Family Guy
"and I'll be guiding this relaxation adventure"
Family Guy
"for you and the other white women,"
Family Guy
"plus an Asian woman who has a white husband back home."
Family Guy
"I feel more relaxed already."
Family Guy
"Now sit down and enjoy some spa music that's mostly rain."
Family Guy
"Hey, guys, can we take it from the rain again?"
Family Guy
"(rainfall sounds)"
Family Guy
"Well, Chris and Meg are off to school."
Family Guy
"Guess it's just you and me now."
Family Guy
"You want a Popsicle?"
Family Guy
"Huh?"
Family Guy
"Breakfast Popsicle?"
Family Guy
"Whoa, there's vodka in here."
Family Guy
"(gulping)"
Family Guy
"(bottle clinks)"
Family Guy
"Now, what‐‐ Uh, now, what is‐‐"
Family Guy
"Now, what... (stammers) what did you want?"
Family Guy
"What... (stammers)"
Family Guy
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