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Clips from Family Guy - Stewie's First Word (S19E19)

"Whoa, whoa. Mindhunter's going in."
Family Guy
"I mean... (clears throat)"
Family Guy
"Thou art the children of Abraham, and thou shalt..."
Family Guy
"He's playing you!"
Family Guy
"You think you're playing him? He's playing you."
Family Guy
"I hate this. When do I get my cookie?"
Family Guy
"I just want my cookie so I can go home."
Family Guy
"Now please join me in silent prayer."
Family Guy
"And as we settle into the silence,"
Family Guy
"I remind you that‐‐ in honor of Lent‐‐"
Family Guy
"today's coffee service will not include Chewy Chips Ahoy."
Family Guy
"‐(bleep) ‐(all gasping)"
Family Guy
"- (Lois gasps) - (congregation murmurs)"
Family Guy
"Hey, Stewie said his first word."
Family Guy
"And it was a swear."
Family Guy
"Well, this is unacceptable."
Family Guy
"We have to leave right now and go straight to breakfast."
Family Guy
"Unbelievable."
Family Guy
"(car door opens, closes)"
Family Guy
"(engine starts)"
Family Guy
"Let's go!"
Family Guy
"I can't believe Stewie finally said his first word"
Family Guy
"and it ends up being... that."
Family Guy
"Right now, every woman in my mommy wine group is judging me."
Family Guy
"I may have to start drinking wine at home alone."
Family Guy
"‐Start? ‐Not the day for it, Chris! Not the day!"
Family Guy
"I don't get it, Stewie. You've been talking forever."
Family Guy
"Why did everyone suddenly understand you now?"
Family Guy
"I don't know."
Family Guy
"I was feeling so much intense emotion in the moment,"
Family Guy
"and that one word somehow just burst through."
Family Guy
"Yeah, but now what? Everyone can understand you?"
Family Guy
"I don't think so."
Family Guy
"Not unless I'm yelling something I feel strongly about."
Family Guy
"Greta Gerwig is a national treasure!"
Family Guy
"See? Nothing."
Family Guy
"I guess I'm not feeling it. I don't know."
Family Guy
"What if that's the only thing I'll ever be able to express?"
Family Guy
"Anger. What kind of a person would I be then?"
Family Guy
"Larry David, Lewis Black,"
Family Guy
"a Trump voter, everyone on Twitter."
Family Guy
"But I don't want to be any of those things."
Family Guy
"They've got to hear me."
Family Guy
"Ice cream! Lollipop!"
Family Guy
"Bubbles! Kitty cat!"
Family Guy
"(Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays)"
Family Guy
"Doggy! Raincoat! Preschool!"
Family Guy
"Fire truck! Goldfish! Finger paint!"
Family Guy
"(soft chatter, laughter)"
Family Guy
"Lois, what are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"What do you mean? You invited us."
Family Guy
"Sorry, but we can't have Stewie here."
Family Guy
"I brought my own veggie burgers,"
Family Guy
"but I'm not gonna make a big deal about it."
Family Guy
"What with his profanity and all, I don't think"
Family Guy
"Stewie would be a good influence on the other children."
Family Guy
"Is there a designated spot on the grill"
Family Guy
"for the veggie burgers?"
Family Guy
"And again, not a big deal."
Family Guy
"You're saying that because of a swear word,"
Family Guy
"my son isn't good enough for your pool party?"
Family Guy
"It's a little bit about him swearing,"
Family Guy
"but mostly about you as a parent."
Family Guy
"Kevin, I said, no arrows!"
Family Guy
"KEVIN: Crossbows don't shoot arrows."
Family Guy
"They shoot bolts, dumbass!"
Family Guy
"(chuckles) Okay, sweetie."
Family Guy
"KEVIN: Hey, Dad, did you hear what Einstein called bolts?"
Family Guy
"JOE: I heard it."
Family Guy
"Brian, shut off the television."
Family Guy
"It's ruined my baby!"
Family Guy
"What are you talking about?"
Family Guy
"Stewie obviously learned to swear from some TV show."
Family Guy
"No, he didn't. The only show he watches is Caillou."
Family Guy
"Well, then that little French‐Canadian weirdo"
Family Guy
"is the potty mouth, I'm sure of it."
Family Guy
"And I'm willing to watch every single episode just to prove it."
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: Caillou was upset."
Family Guy
"Why am I bald? I'm not a baby. I'm four."
Family Guy
"Are kids just bald in Canada?"
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: So Caillou decided"
Family Guy
"to look himself up on Wikipedia."
Family Guy
"God, this is dull."
Family Guy
"CAILLOU: Maybe I'm supposed to be a cancer survivor,"
Family Guy
"and this show is very inspiring."
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: But Caillou wasn't a cancer survivor."
Family Guy
"The show's creators just made a weird choice."
Family Guy
"Caillou's low‐testosterone father"
Family Guy
"again indulged Caillou's tantrum,"
Family Guy
"clearly trying to raise a sociopath."
Family Guy
"CAILLOU'S FATHER: It's okay, Caillou."
Family Guy
"I'll bake you a pie."
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: He said, his body flooding with estrogen."
Family Guy
"Lois?"
Family Guy
"Are you dead?"
Family Guy
"(sniffing)"
Family Guy
"Can I eat you?"
Family Guy
"- Huh? What? - Ah, another time."
Family Guy
"Oh. I‐I, um... I watched that Caillou, and you're right."
Family Guy
"Stewie didn't learn that word from Caillou."
Family Guy
"That means he learned it from someone in this house."
Family Guy
"- Okay. - And I will find out who."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna set a trap"
Family Guy
"and lure the swearer into revealing himself."
Family Guy
"That sounds hard."
Family Guy
"Oh, I will find the swearer."
Family Guy
"CAILLOU: Dad, why are we sitting"
Family Guy
"on the washing machine?"
Family Guy
"CAILLOU'S FATHER: Because in Canada,"
Family Guy
"men have vaginas."
Family Guy
"Hey, what's with the stairs? Why do they look different?"
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm trying to prove"
Family Guy
"that Peter's the one cussing in the house,"
Family Guy
"so I waxed the staircase for him to fall down."
Family Guy
"PETER: Hey, Lois, have you seen my Spider‐Man socks?"
Family Guy
"- I can't seem to... - (thudding)"
Family Guy
"Ouch. Oh, heavens."
Family Guy
"Oh, goodness gracious."
Family Guy
"That's smarts. Oh, my."
Family Guy
"Egad. Well, I'll be."
Family Guy
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