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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Sauce Side Story (S12E12)

Ugh, Mother's Day.

"Ugh, Mother's Day."

Bob's Burgers

You know, it's actually been proven

"You know, it's actually been proven"

Bob's Burgers

that owning and taking care of cats

"that owning and taking care of cats"

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is 4,000 times harder than being a mom to a human.

"is 4,000 times harder than being a mom to a human."

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- Did your cats get you a present? - Not yet.

"- Did your cats get you a present? - Not yet."

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Maybe they're just waiting for the right moment

"Maybe they're just waiting for the right moment"

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and tonight you're gonna find like 50 dead birds in your bed.

"and tonight you're gonna find like 50 dead birds in your bed."

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(gasps) Can you imagine?

"(gasps) Can you imagine?"

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LINDA: Okay, you didn't like the wacky broom idea

"LINDA: Okay, you didn't like the wacky broom idea"

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- where the cards were the end of the wacky broom. - Nope.

"- where the cards were the end of the wacky broom. - Nope."

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You didn't like the giant eyebrow idea

"You didn't like the giant eyebrow idea"

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where the cards were a giant eyebrow over an eye.

"where the cards were a giant eyebrow over an eye."

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- Terrifying. - But what about this?

"- Terrifying. - But what about this?"

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I present to you long hair lady.

"I present to you long hair lady."

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- (groans) That hair is long. - You like it?

"- (groans) That hair is long. - You like it?"

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I like it. I just think it's also bad.

"I like it. I just think it's also bad."

Bob's Burgers

Oh, I got one. I just thought of one.

"Oh, I got one. I just thought of one."

Bob's Burgers

All right, hang on. I'm coming around.

"All right, hang on. I'm coming around."

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(Bob panting)

"(Bob panting)"

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Okay, okay. Grabbing the chalk.

"Okay, okay. Grabbing the chalk."

Bob's Burgers

Uh, you could make all the cards look like an accordion.

"Uh, you could make all the cards look like an accordion."

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So it's like an accordion lady.

"So it's like an accordion lady."

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A lady who plays the accordion?

"A lady who plays the accordion?"

Bob's Burgers

No, kind of like a lady who is an accordion.

"No, kind of like a lady who is an accordion."

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- Oh. - Huh.

"- Oh. - Huh."

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Came all the way out here to do that, huh? (chuckles)

"Came all the way out here to do that, huh? (chuckles)"

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Yeah. Oh, the burger's burning.

"Yeah. Oh, the burger's burning."

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I mean, not burning. It-It's perfect.

"I mean, not burning. It-It's perfect."

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I'm just gonna, uh, run back and see how perfect it is.

"I'm just gonna, uh, run back and see how perfect it is."

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(Bob panting)

"(Bob panting)"

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LOUISE: Remember, everyone,

"LOUISE: Remember, everyone,"

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no matter how awful this Lorraine lady is,

"no matter how awful this Lorraine lady is,"

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we got to stick to the plan: kill her with kindness.

"we got to stick to the plan: kill her with kindness."

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- I heard "kill." - No, no, no. Kindness.

"- I heard "kill." - No, no, no. Kindness."

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Right. But also, what if we just start, like,

"Right. But also, what if we just start, like,"

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a little tiny fire in her house?

"a little tiny fire in her house?"

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- Aunt Gayle, no. - Oh, hi.

"- Aunt Gayle, no. - Oh, hi."

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Uh, we are looking for a Lorraine Parcone.

"Uh, we are looking for a Lorraine Parcone."

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Would the Lorraine of the house be home?

"Would the Lorraine of the house be home?"

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She is not. But I am her son.

"She is not. But I am her son."

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I'm Nico. Uh, who are all of you?

"I'm Nico. Uh, who are all of you?"

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Oh, I'm Louise.

"Oh, I'm Louise."

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This is my brother Gene and my sister Tina.

"This is my brother Gene and my sister Tina."

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And we're... (imitates drumroll) your cousins!

"And we're... (imitates drumroll) your cousins!"

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Well, third cousins. I think.

"Well, third cousins. I think."

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- So we're totally fine to marry. - And we're not enemies at all.

"- So we're totally fine to marry. - And we're not enemies at all."

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Oh. Okay, great.

"Oh. Okay, great."

Bob's Burgers

And you must be their mom-slash-also my cousin?

"And you must be their mom-slash-also my cousin?"

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- Happy Mother's Day. - Oh, right.

"- Happy Mother's Day. - Oh, right."

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I-I am their mother. Yes.

"I-I am their mother. Yes."

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That is what I am.

"That is what I am."

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I'm Linda, the homelier one.

"I'm Linda, the homelier one."

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Gayle, my sister, is a trial lawyer

"Gayle, my sister, is a trial lawyer"

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and a model for a bikini corporation.

"and a model for a bikini corporation."

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Okay. Well, come on in.

"Okay. Well, come on in."

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My mom should be back soon.

"My mom should be back soon."

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She went out to pick up some groceries.

"She went out to pick up some groceries."

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That's a fun Mother's Day errand.

"That's a fun Mother's Day errand."

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So, what brings you all here today?

"So, what brings you all here today?"

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Such a good question.

"Such a good question."

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We were in the area and thought we'd drop by

"We were in the area and thought we'd drop by"

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and meet some cousins and just visit.

"and meet some cousins and just visit."

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- We don't want anything from you! - So, how are we related exactly?

"- We don't want anything from you! - So, how are we related exactly?"

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You're not from my great-great-uncle Tony's

"You're not from my great-great-uncle Tony's"

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side of the family, are you?

"side of the family, are you?"

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(nervous chuckling)

"(nervous chuckling)"

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Is what my mother would ask if she were here.

"Is what my mother would ask if she were here."

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But I don't care. I'm just glad to meet some cousins.

"But I don't care. I'm just glad to meet some cousins."

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Can I call you "cuz"? Everybody okay with "cuz"?

"Can I call you "cuz"? Everybody okay with "cuz"?"

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Abso-cuz-lutely.

"Abso-cuz-lutely."

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Hey, you don't have a few minutes

"Hey, you don't have a few minutes"

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to bust out the photo albums or, I don't know,

"to bust out the photo albums or, I don't know,"

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old family recipes and just sit around and get into it, do you?

"old family recipes and just sit around and get into it, do you?"

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Well, the paint's got to dry on my Buckaroo Banzai figurine.

"Well, the paint's got to dry on my Buckaroo Banzai figurine."

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Buckaroo Banzai? Buckaroo Banzai? No?

"Buckaroo Banzai? Buckaroo Banzai? No?"

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Uh, I'll tell you about it. Let's go.

"Uh, I'll tell you about it. Let's go."

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(quietly): You guys, this is gonna be

"(quietly): You guys, this is gonna be"

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easier than I thought, but we have to get the recipe

"easier than I thought, but we have to get the recipe"

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before Lorraine gets home.

"before Lorraine gets home."

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Aunt Gayle, why did you say you were our mom?

"Aunt Gayle, why did you say you were our mom?"

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I don't know. It just came out.

"I don't know. It just came out."

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But hold my hand and call me Mom and let me give you advice.

"But hold my hand and call me Mom and let me give you advice."

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You should part your hair in the middle.

"You should part your hair in the middle."

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- No, I don't want to do that. - You're grounded.

"- No, I don't want to do that. - You're grounded."

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Okay, here we go.

"Okay, here we go."

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It's a lady with long hair driving a race car.

"It's a lady with long hair driving a race car."

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Looks like she's in a bathtub.

"Looks like she's in a bathtub."

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- Does your mom like race cars? - Everyone likes race cars.

"- Does your mom like race cars? - Everyone likes race cars."

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Everyone likes baths. It could just be a bathtub.

"Everyone likes baths. It could just be a bathtub."

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Or she could have no tattoo there,

"Or she could have no tattoo there,"

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which was my original present!

"which was my original present!"

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Hey, speaking of Mother's Day presents,

"Hey, speaking of Mother's Day presents,"

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the kids have been gone for a while.

"the kids have been gone for a while."

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Are you really not gonna tell me

"Are you really not gonna tell me"

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where Gayle took them to get my gift? Come on!

"where Gayle took them to get my gift? Come on!"

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I'm not gonna tell you. It's a surprise.

"I'm not gonna tell you. It's a surprise."

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(gasps) Is it Vermont?

"(gasps) Is it Vermont?"

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- What? - Did they drive up to Vermont

"- What? - Did they drive up to Vermont"

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to get me a blanket?

"to get me a blanket?"

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I bet Vermont has great blankets.

"I bet Vermont has great blankets."

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(chuckles) That-- No.

"(chuckles) That-- No."

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I can tell you that they're not doing that.

"I can tell you that they're not doing that."

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Now I know it's not a blanket. Good job, Bob.

"Now I know it's not a blanket. Good job, Bob."

Bob's Burgers

Okay, I went with the bathtub thing.

"Okay, I went with the bathtub thing."

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I gave her a bar of soap.

"I gave her a bar of soap."

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Why does the bathtub have wheels?

"Why does the bathtub have wheels?"

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'Cause it was a race car!

"'Cause it was a race car!"

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NICO: And here's my grandpa Joey again.

"NICO: And here's my grandpa Joey again."

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This is when he started sitting a lot.

"This is when he started sitting a lot."

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Wow. I love these pictures.

"Wow. I love these pictures."

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But do you know what I also love?

"But do you know what I also love?"

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Written stuff: letters, laundry lists,

"Written stuff: letters, laundry lists,"

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lists of ingredients or something.

"lists of ingredients or something."

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Ooh, there's another album. I know where it is.

"Ooh, there's another album. I know where it is."

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I think there are a couple of pictures

"I think there are a couple of pictures"

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of Grandpa Joey standing in that one.

"of Grandpa Joey standing in that one."

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We got to find that recipe and get out of here.

"We got to find that recipe and get out of here."

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I'm gonna move that stool over and check on top of the fridge.

"I'm gonna move that stool over and check on top of the fridge."

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I see some cookbooks.

"I see some cookbooks."

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Tina, help me. Gayle, what are you doing?

"Tina, help me. Gayle, what are you doing?"

Bob's Burgers

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