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Clips from Single Drunk Female - One Day at a Time (S01E01)

"♪ Waste gyal you know you cyah chat to we ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ No bodda come yah wid you negativity ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ It's like one, two, three ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Big up the gyal dem wid di healthy body ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Waste man you know you cyah chat to we ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Nuh bodda come yah wid you negativity ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ Negativity. ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Wow. That was fast."
Single Drunk Female
"Eh, it's either this or 90‐Day Fiancé."
Single Drunk Female
"(indistinct chatter)"
Single Drunk Female
"I just..."
Single Drunk Female
"I can't believe I got that close."
Single Drunk Female
"You're fine. I've done so much worse."
Single Drunk Female
"‐No, you haven't. ‐Sam,"
Single Drunk Female
"I used to blackout and steal dogs."
Single Drunk Female
"Like, I would wake up just with a dog"
Single Drunk Female
"and not remember how it got there."
Single Drunk Female
"I just..."
Single Drunk Female
"I feel like that's kind of cute."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I'm a felon. ‐Yeah, I could've been."
Single Drunk Female
"They would've called me, like, the Doggy Bandit or something."
Single Drunk Female
"But they didn't."
Single Drunk Female
"‐They did not. ‐You got away with it."
Single Drunk Female
"I got away with it."
Single Drunk Female
"I have so many dogs now."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Mm‐hmm. Oh!"
Single Drunk Female
"And this one time I took a little bit of my friend's"
Single Drunk Female
"mom's ashes and spread them in the Charles,"
Single Drunk Female
"because I thought it was a nice thing to do."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, that makes me feel a little bit better,"
Single Drunk Female
"'cause I don't think I've ever spread anyone's ashes."
Single Drunk Female
"Like, not even my own dad's."
Single Drunk Female
"He's just sitting on my mom's side table."
Single Drunk Female
"Although she would probably hit it now that she's"
Single Drunk Female
"schtupping her friend Bob."
Single Drunk Female
"It's always a Bob."
Single Drunk Female
"My mom has a Bob, but his name's Daryl."
Single Drunk Female
"Which is the Bob of Black people. (short chuckle)"
Single Drunk Female
"(snorts, laughs)"
Single Drunk Female
"I didn't... I didn't know that."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah. ‐(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you for picking me up."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, of course."
Single Drunk Female
"I just wanted to show you my car, though."
Single Drunk Female
"It's nice."
Single Drunk Female
"We could just go to Good Time Sally's"
Single Drunk Female
"and relive that night I have absolutely no memory of."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, let's‐let's go relapse together, great."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, we could skip the relapse part and just do the sex thing."
Single Drunk Female
"That sounds great. But I can't."
Single Drunk Female
"Because you're kind of untouchable"
Single Drunk Female
"until you're a year and a day sober."
Single Drunk Female
"You're serious?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah. It's, like, a famous thing."
Single Drunk Female
"And I kind of have to be a rules guys."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, I would like to go on the record"
Single Drunk Female
"as saying that rule blows."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Mm. ‐Who can I complain to?"
Single Drunk Female
"Uh... no one."
Single Drunk Female
"They just had to get that day in there."
Single Drunk Female
"Dicks."
Single Drunk Female
"I never believed in ghosts"
Single Drunk Female
"‐until I saw Ghost. ‐Love that movie."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Right? ‐Yes."
Single Drunk Female
"And it's true, they‐they are around."
Single Drunk Female
"I have one in my house right now"
Single Drunk Female
"as we speak, I mean, he's not haunting me or anything."
Single Drunk Female
"He's just kind of hanging out."
Single Drunk Female
"Like a college roommate"
Single Drunk Female
"who's girlfriend lives in a better dorm."
Single Drunk Female
"I always wanted to see ghosts, but they never came to see me."
Single Drunk Female
"I was sure my Aunt Nan was gonna haunt me."
Single Drunk Female
"She was such a bitch. It would be just like her"
Single Drunk Female
"to come back from the other side and torture me."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, maybe you have to come over to my place"
Single Drunk Female
"and meet my ghost roommate."
Single Drunk Female
"‐That could be good. ‐Yeah."
Single Drunk Female
"We could get little spooky."
Single Drunk Female
"Yes, we can."
Single Drunk Female
"(Bob chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐Mmm. ‐I'm gonna go pee."
Single Drunk Female
"You stay here and don't a move a muscle."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"‐(high‐pitched): Oil can. ‐(door closes)"
Single Drunk Female
"If it isn't you again."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, it is you again."
Single Drunk Female
"I like that we're becoming more playful with each other."
Single Drunk Female
"Where's my mom, Bob?"
Single Drunk Female
"I killed her."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm kidding. I‐I wouldn't kill her."
Single Drunk Female
"(laughs) I might."
Single Drunk Female
"(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, all right, I'm gonna"
Single Drunk Female
"‐go to my room. ‐Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Hey, uh, before you go, I‐I just"
Single Drunk Female
"wanted to say that..."
Single Drunk Female
"I think you're doing a really great job."
Single Drunk Female
"Thanks?"
Single Drunk Female
"I hit my bottom a few years back."
Single Drunk Female
"Not with alcohol."
Single Drunk Female
"But... with a near‐death experience."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, my God."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I was skydiving,"
Single Drunk Female
"and you know at the end, when you land and you run"
Single Drunk Female
"for a little bit? Well, I fell over instead"
Single Drunk Female
"and got dragged and..."
Single Drunk Female
"...I broke my tibia."
Single Drunk Female
"The‐the near‐death experience was breaking your tibia?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yes."
Single Drunk Female
"It was a near‐death experience"
Single Drunk Female
"until it wasn't."
Single Drunk Female
"So, anyway, I went to physical therapy,"
Single Drunk Female
"and healed my tibia and I discovered my‐my"
Single Drunk Female
"true passion in life, which is"
Single Drunk Female
"helping other people. And I became"
Single Drunk Female
"a personal trainer, started reading a lot of Glennon Doyle,"
Single Drunk Female
"which led the new me to book club,"
Single Drunk Female
"which led me to Carol, your mom,"
Single Drunk Female
"and I've never been happier."
Single Drunk Female
"And that could be you."
Single Drunk Female
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