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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Higher Parent (S01E01)

And, um...

"And, um..."

Single Drunk Female

You know, you knew me better than anybody.

"You know, you knew me better than anybody."

Single Drunk Female

You definitely knew I was an alcoholic before I did.

"You definitely knew I was an alcoholic before I did."

Single Drunk Female

I'm sorry for a lot of stuff and I miss you a lot.

"I'm sorry for a lot of stuff and I miss you a lot."

Single Drunk Female

And I miss you, too.

"And I miss you, too."

Single Drunk Female

-We miss you. -We miss you. Okay.

"-We miss you. -We miss you. Okay."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, just going right in for it, huh?

"Oh, just going right in for it, huh?"

Single Drunk Female

-Goodbye, darling. -Oh.

"-Goodbye, darling. -Oh."

Single Drunk Female

-Oh! Oh... -Go. Go.

"-Oh! Oh... -Go. Go."

Single Drunk Female

Throw it in. In the water.

"Throw it in. In the water."

Single Drunk Female

-Bye, Dad. -Throw it in.

"-Bye, Dad. -Throw it in."

Single Drunk Female

-Uh, it's in. Oh, God. -Bye, dear.

"-Uh, it's in. Oh, God. -Bye, dear."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, my God, this is a lot.

"Oh, my God, this is a lot."

Single Drunk Female

-Is it always this much? -He was very tall.

"-Is it always this much? -He was very tall."

Single Drunk Female

-No, he wasn't. -He was.

"-No, he wasn't. -He was."

Single Drunk Female

CAROL: All right, that's enough.

"CAROL: All right, that's enough."

Single Drunk Female

Let's go. Goodbye. Just say goodbye.

"Let's go. Goodbye. Just say goodbye."

Single Drunk Female

-Goodbye, Dad. -Goodbye.

"-Goodbye, Dad. -Goodbye."

Single Drunk Female

SAMANTHA: How is it so much?

"SAMANTHA: How is it so much?"

Single Drunk Female

You know, I'm sure Dad

"You know, I'm sure Dad"

Single Drunk Female

is very proud of you.

"is very proud of you."

Single Drunk Female

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Single Drunk Female

Okay, Mom, I really do need to tell you something.

"Okay, Mom, I really do need to tell you something."

Single Drunk Female

Well, some things.

"Well, some things."

Single Drunk Female

I'm sorry that I didn't show up for Thanksgiving

"I'm sorry that I didn't show up for Thanksgiving"

Single Drunk Female

after Dad died. And I'm sorry

"after Dad died. And I'm sorry"

Single Drunk Female

-that I made such a scene at his shiva, and I... -No.

"-that I made such a scene at his shiva, and I... -No."

Single Drunk Female

His family deserved that.

"His family deserved that."

Single Drunk Female

Though you were a little dramatic, even for you.

"Though you were a little dramatic, even for you."

Single Drunk Female

Okay, can you, um, can you not let me off the hook,

"Okay, can you, um, can you not let me off the hook,"

Single Drunk Female

'cause part of the whole thing is taking responsibility.

"'cause part of the whole thing is taking responsibility."

Single Drunk Female

-Right. Sorry. Go ahead. -Okay.

"-Right. Sorry. Go ahead. -Okay."

Single Drunk Female

Um, I'm sorry that I used his diagnosis

"Um, I'm sorry that I used his diagnosis"

Single Drunk Female

as an excuse to drink more.

"as an excuse to drink more."

Single Drunk Female

I-I put him on a pedestal, you know? I...

"I-I put him on a pedestal, you know? I..."

Single Drunk Female

made him the higher parent and you the evil witch.

"made him the higher parent and you the evil witch."

Single Drunk Female

I even tried to blame you for him getting sick,

"I even tried to blame you for him getting sick,"

Single Drunk Female

-which is completely unfair. -Okay, no.

"-which is completely unfair. -Okay, no."

Single Drunk Female

Mm. Time for me to come clean.

"Mm. Time for me to come clean."

Single Drunk Female

Uh...

"Uh..."

Single Drunk Female

I know there were years of your life

"I know there were years of your life"

Single Drunk Female

when I wasn't present.

"when I wasn't present."

Single Drunk Female

There are years that are just foggy.

"There are years that are just foggy."

Single Drunk Female

I know I said and did things that I...

"I know I said and did things that I..."

Single Drunk Female

honestly can't... remember.

"honestly can't... remember."

Single Drunk Female

But, knowing me, I'm sure they weren't great.

"But, knowing me, I'm sure they weren't great."

Single Drunk Female

Okay, are you apologizing to me?

"Okay, are you apologizing to me?"

Single Drunk Female

I'm taking some blame.

"I'm taking some blame."

Single Drunk Female

No, no, no, but it's my blame, like, I...

"No, no, no, but it's my blame, like, I..."

Single Drunk Female

-I have to take the blame. This is my moment. -Okay.

"-I have to take the blame. This is my moment. -Okay."

Single Drunk Female

You have some, I get some. Don't be a blame hog.

"You have some, I get some. Don't be a blame hog."

Single Drunk Female

And I'm so grateful

"And I'm so grateful"

Single Drunk Female

for this Samantha.

"for this Samantha."

Single Drunk Female

(exhales)

"(exhales)"

Single Drunk Female

I just want to...

"I just want to..."

Single Drunk Female

freeze her in time and hold on to her

"freeze her in time and hold on to her"

Single Drunk Female

for as long as I can.

"for as long as I can."

Single Drunk Female

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Single Drunk Female

And, while we're getting things off our chest...

"And, while we're getting things off our chest..."

Single Drunk Female

Bob's moving in.

"Bob's moving in."

Single Drunk Female

Wow.

"Wow."

Single Drunk Female

But you can stay if you like.

"But you can stay if you like."

Single Drunk Female

You always have a room.

"You always have a room."

Single Drunk Female

I would like it if you stayed.

"I would like it if you stayed."

Single Drunk Female

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Single Drunk Female

But it's time, right?

"But it's time, right?"

Single Drunk Female

I got to get my own place.

"I got to get my own place."

Single Drunk Female

-Yeah, okay. -Yeah.

"-Yeah, okay. -Yeah."

Single Drunk Female

'Cause you're finally having sex.

"'Cause you're finally having sex."

Single Drunk Female

-How do you know that? -(scoffs) Small town.

"-How do you know that? -(scoffs) Small town."

Single Drunk Female

Hey, when are we gonna start to feel something?

"Hey, when are we gonna start to feel something?"

Single Drunk Female

Oh, you are already flying, baby.

"Oh, you are already flying, baby."

Single Drunk Female

Yeah, I am.

"Yeah, I am."

Single Drunk Female

-Thank you so much for this. -Mm.

"-Thank you so much for this. -Mm."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God."

Single Drunk Female

You look like an outline on a green screen, but, like,

"You look like an outline on a green screen, but, like,"

Single Drunk Female

you have your normal background.

"you have your normal background."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, my God. Totally.

"Oh, my God. Totally."

Single Drunk Female

VAL: I am.

"VAL: I am."

Single Drunk Female

BRIT: No, no.

"BRIT: No, no."

Single Drunk Female

-It's just the drugs. -WOMAN (in distance): Kids, let's go!

"-It's just the drugs. -WOMAN (in distance): Kids, let's go!"

Single Drunk Female

If you guys can't accept that hallucinations

"If you guys can't accept that hallucinations"

Single Drunk Female

are the actual reality

"are the actual reality"

Single Drunk Female

and our daily lives are the hallucination,

"and our daily lives are the hallucination,"

Single Drunk Female

I might take off.

"I might take off."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, my God, you're right.

"Oh, my God, you're right."

Single Drunk Female

Hey, Val, is this going okay?

"Hey, Val, is this going okay?"

Single Drunk Female

Oh, yeah.

"Oh, yeah."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, this shit is good.

"Oh, this shit is good."

Single Drunk Female

BRIT: What?

"BRIT: What?"

Single Drunk Female

Okay, thank you... thank you. Thank you for that.

"Okay, thank you... thank you. Thank you for that."

Single Drunk Female

God, why am I such a grade grubber even on psychedelics?

"God, why am I such a grade grubber even on psychedelics?"

Single Drunk Female

You know, it's like-it's like...

"You know, it's like-it's like..."

Single Drunk Female

it's like, it's in me, you know? Like, I just, I can't...

"it's like, it's in me, you know? Like, I just, I can't..."

Single Drunk Female

not do well, it's like a serpent.

"not do well, it's like a serpent."

Single Drunk Female

You need to try screwing up.

"You need to try screwing up."

Single Drunk Female

No, Joel's always telling me to relax.

"No, Joel's always telling me to relax."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, no. I can't believe he told a woman to relax.

"Oh, no. I can't believe he told a woman to relax."

Single Drunk Female

Such a boner killer.

"Such a boner killer."

Single Drunk Female

Oh, my God, Felicia, you're so awesome.

"Oh, my God, Felicia, you're so awesome."

Single Drunk Female

Should I get married?

"Should I get married?"

Single Drunk Female

I don't know. Do you want to?

"I don't know. Do you want to?"

Single Drunk Female

I don't know.

"I don't know."

Single Drunk Female

Val, should I get married?

"Val, should I get married?"

Single Drunk Female

I'm gonna say no.

"I'm gonna say no."

Single Drunk Female

Really?

"Really?"

Single Drunk Female

I don't know. I am tripping balls, man.

"I don't know. I am tripping balls, man."

Single Drunk Female

♪ ♪

"♪ ♪"

Single Drunk Female

I mean, I-if I wait for her to make a decision,

"I mean, I-if I wait for her to make a decision,"

Single Drunk Female

I will die waiting.

"I will die waiting."

Single Drunk Female

You guys love each other, right?

"You guys love each other, right?"

Single Drunk Female

Yeah, I mean, it's the most in love I've ever been in my life.

"Yeah, I mean, it's the most in love I've ever been in my life."

Single Drunk Female

Right. Personally...

"Right. Personally..."

Single Drunk Female

I kind of freak out when things are going too well.

"I kind of freak out when things are going too well."

Single Drunk Female

To our champagne problems.

"To our champagne problems."

Single Drunk Female

And our problems with champagne.

"And our problems with champagne."

Single Drunk Female

(chuckles) Nice. That's funny.

"(chuckles) Nice. That's funny."

Single Drunk Female

I'm pretty funny.

"I'm pretty funny."

Single Drunk Female

-Can I go to the bathroom? -No, no.

"-Can I go to the bathroom? -No, no."

Single Drunk Female

Can I go up there?

"Can I go up there?"

Single Drunk Female

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