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Clips from Avenue 5 - And Then He's Gonna Shoot Off... (S01E01)

"May he rest."
Avenue 5
"(CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY)"
Avenue 5
"(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)"
Avenue 5
"He runs a space travel company. He knows nothing about space."
Avenue 5
"-He's a good speaker. -I'm sorry, who are you?"
Avenue 5
"You just embarrassed yourself."
Avenue 5
"Why? 'Cause I didn't recognize the janitor?"
Avenue 5
"(SINGS) ♪ There's a starman ♪"
Avenue 5
"♪ Waiting in the sky ♪"
Avenue 5
"♪ He'd like to come and meet us, but... ♪"
Avenue 5
"So, uh, there may be some more bad news,"
Avenue 5
"or as I'm learning to call it, news."
Avenue 5
"The casket is sprayed solid gold, lead underneath,"
Avenue 5
"and weighs over 800 pounds without Joe in it,"
Avenue 5
"-and Joe is a big guy. -There's a man in there."
Avenue 5
"-This is not about numbers. -I'm telling you, it's problematic."
Avenue 5
"♪ I had to phone someone I wish it could be Joe ♪"
Avenue 5
"♪ Hey that's far out Like Joe's far out in space ♪"
Avenue 5
"♪ Turn on the TV Sadly, Joe's on TV ♪"
Avenue 5
"Told you. All music is terrible."
Avenue 5
"♪ Let the children lose it Let all the children... ♪"
Avenue 5
"♪ Boogie ♪"
Avenue 5
"And we will... let the children boogie."
Avenue 5
"Thank you, Matt."
Avenue 5
"Sanji, our regular singer, is, uh... is injured."
Avenue 5
"Uh... He's expected to make a full recovery, so..."
Avenue 5
"there's justice. Billie."
Avenue 5
"(MACHINE WHIRS)"
Avenue 5
"-It's a very heavy coffin. -Please stop talking near me."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: He's leaving us, Billie."
Avenue 5
"Why isn't he leaving us?"
Avenue 5
"Well, I told you."
Avenue 5
"You didn't tell me this was gonna happen."
Avenue 5
"Is this because of the weight?"
Avenue 5
"The ship is so large that it has its own gravitational pull."
Avenue 5
"That's a good thing, right?"
Avenue 5
"I mean, nobody wants a little wussy ship."
Avenue 5
"-What is he doing? -KAREN: Whatever it is, he needs to stop it."
Avenue 5
"SPIKE: He's orbiting us."
Avenue 5
"It's a lap of honor, right. Then, he's gonna shoot off."
Avenue 5
"No, like the little guy just said,"
Avenue 5
"he will be orbiting us again, and again, and again..."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: What?"
Avenue 5
"JUDD: Get him away from my ship!"
Avenue 5
"Doesn't my coffin have rockets or a self-destruct?"
Avenue 5
"Why would your coffin have a self-destruct?"
Avenue 5
"So that nobody can plant incriminating bodily fluids on my corpse."
Avenue 5
"Makes sense."
Avenue 5
"Joe is a moon. He'll pass by us every hour or so."
Avenue 5
"Well, in a way, that's... I don't wanna say "dependable,""
Avenue 5
"but, uh... I'm gonna go with "macabre.""
Avenue 5
"Uh... What's the little rectangle?"
Avenue 5
"What is that? What is that?"
Avenue 5
"We understand that's Mr. Judd's coffin."
Avenue 5
"How-- How does that happen?"
Avenue 5
"Is it-- Is it a drill? A coffin rehearsal?"
Avenue 5
"ALAN: Ah. Uh... Hello."
Avenue 5
"Is the screen frozen or is he just not moving?"
Avenue 5
"ALAN: It's just the delay."
Avenue 5
"Zip your lips and open your ears."
Avenue 5
"I'm gonna lay down some big words."
Avenue 5
"We solved the issue on our own."
Avenue 5
"Back in six months, see? I'm great."
Avenue 5
"Now I'm gonna eat this protein ball"
Avenue 5
"while I wait for your reply."
Avenue 5
"That can't be right, can it?"
Avenue 5
"Suck on that, NASA!"
Avenue 5
""NASA" stands for..."
Avenue 5
""Not Anymore, Stupid Assholes!""
Avenue 5
"Oh."
Avenue 5
"(CHUCKLES) Okay. Wow."
Avenue 5
"-He did not mean that. -I have seen enough."
Avenue 5
"-This has been so useful. Door's over there. -Okay."
Avenue 5
"-Let get that. -Let's stay in touch."
Avenue 5
"(RAV SIGHS)"
Avenue 5
"Ladies and gentlemen, could I have--"
Avenue 5
"Could you gather around?"
Avenue 5
"Could I have your attention, please?"
Avenue 5
"Oh, thank you."
Avenue 5
"Uh... Excuse me. Everybody, listen up."
Avenue 5
"The captain has some news."
Avenue 5
"Yeah, you-- you should probably get down from there."
Avenue 5
"-Sturdy hands-- -Do you mind? I have a husband."
Avenue 5
"-Oh! Oh-- I'm here. -Well, shoot me for caring."
Avenue 5
"Okay, I just wanted to let you know"
Avenue 5
"that, uh, I've been running a few options,"
Avenue 5
"and we think we may have found a faster way home."
Avenue 5
"-Is it less than six months? -Yes, it is. -BAILEY: Oh!"
Avenue 5
"-(CHEERING) -No! No! No, no, no, no."
Avenue 5
"Wait, no. It's less than three years."
Avenue 5
"(GROANING)"
Avenue 5
"It could be as little as six months."
Avenue 5
"(MATT CLAPS)"
Avenue 5
"-Thanks, Matt. -We already knew that."
Avenue 5
"-What? -Yeah, I told a few people."
Avenue 5
"Who heard about this from her?"
Avenue 5
"-RYAN: Jesus. -MATT: Okay, great."
Avenue 5
"And of those people, how many of you love fudge?"
Avenue 5
"Just thought it would be good to think about something positive."
Avenue 5
"-RYAN: Okay. -Captain? Captain, can I..."
Avenue 5
"DEVON: The captain's a shithouse."
Avenue 5
"Just a quick word. So, uh... bit of an update."
Avenue 5
"The three injured passengers, no longer injured."
Avenue 5
"-At last, a bit of good news. -No, no, no. Um... They're dead."
Avenue 5
"Probably should have led with that, Billie."
Avenue 5
"Right."
Avenue 5
"Hey, you're not, uh..."
Avenue 5
"getting into some escape pod, are you?"
Avenue 5
"Ma'am, if I had an escape pod, I would put you in it."
Avenue 5
"(QUIETLY) And set the fucking thing on fire."
Avenue 5
"-I'm not done with you yet. -You are very done."
Avenue 5
"Six months? Why can't we get six months?"
Avenue 5
"There's more brains in this room than a lifetime of sausages."
Avenue 5
"On it. Also, the acceleration needs"
Avenue 5
"to be realigned iteratively"
Avenue 5
"or the gravity system could fail again."
Avenue 5
"Just say "reset the gravity.""
Avenue 5
"We don't need to make things sounds cleverer than they are."
Avenue 5
"-(PHONE RINGS) -Of course, your highness."
Avenue 5
"Rav. Yes, I caught you out on a different number."
Avenue 5
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