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Clips from Solar Opposites (2020) - The Gargoyle Ray (S03E03)

"- It's just one of those horrible coincidences,"
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"like when the people on the Fast and Furious 3D ride"
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"all had sex with Tyrese."
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"- But I am part of the tour!"
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"- Holy shit, it's fuckin' Sly!"
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"- That's right, it's me, Sly Stallone."
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"Sometimes I get bored of all the charity work I do."
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"I like to ride the bus undercover and see how people react."
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"[rumbling]"
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"Come on, let's get you out of here!"
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"- Don't fucking touch me, Sylvester Stallone."
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"Don't you know who I am? I'm Korvo! I do the hero shit around here!"
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"[eating noisily]"
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"[gasps]"
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"[sighs]"
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"- Okay, I'm gonna go in and make sure Staci K. is alone,"
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"then I'll give you the signal."
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"Wait for it. - Wh-wh-what's the signal?"
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"- I don't know, I'm just making this shit up as I go along."
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"[sizzling]"
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"- Principal Cooke?"
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"Uh, what are you doing?"
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"- This is the only place that has a strong enough power outlet"
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"for my hotplate."
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"Please don't tell on me."
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"If I get caught cooking beans and eggs on school grounds again, I'll lose my job."
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"This is all I have!"
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"- Die, motherfucker! - No, wait!"
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"[screaming]"
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"[farts]"
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"- Well, this day just took a turn."
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"But I guess this is exactly what I thought"
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"a boring principal's brain would look like."
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"- Ugh. Even basic thinks this is basic."
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"- How do we get out of here?"
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"- Good thing I read the Psyche Ray manual"
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"so I know what to do."
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"- Yeah, I read it too."
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"But maybe explain the rules to me as if I was, like, someone"
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"who binge-watches premium streaming TV."
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"- Yay, you."
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"All we have to do is find Cooke's inner child,"
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"and he will lead us out."
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"- Seems simple enough."
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"JESSE: Aw jeez, turns out Principal Cooke is hella deep."
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"♪"
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"- Son, I wish your mom had miscarried you when she got kicked in the stomach"
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"by that Budweiser Clydesdale."
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"- Wow. I just thought Principal Cooke was a big bag of sad"
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"'cause he had to work with kids, but he clearly has daddy issues!"
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"Surprised he's not workin' a pole."
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"- I don't know, I think his dad seems rad."
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"Hey, is that the Inner Child? [growls]"
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"- I don't think so. Check out that Fudgsicle."
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"Cooke went crazy when it spilled before."
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"This must be Cooke's Temper Monster!"
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"It's fueled by all his anger."
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"If he catches us, we'll never get out of the psyche!"
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"[roars]"
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"[screaming]"
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"[shivering]"
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"[grunts] [can clatters]"
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"- Hey Dr. W., has anyone ever told you,"
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"you look just like that girl from the movies."
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"- Amy Adams? Rachel McAdams? - No. No."
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"- Elizabeth Banks? Emma Stone? - Nah."
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"- No. Oh, it's Kathy Bates!"
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"- What? Forget it. I've decided to break you out. To save you."
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"- But I love it here."
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"I got my Switch, and they let me paint my accent ceiling any color I want!"
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"- [Dr. Weatherstone gasps] Oh wow, that's fucking classy."
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"But look, Terry, you're too special for this place."
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"Trust me, they are going to do terrible stuff to you"
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"if you stay here."
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"[whispers]: Butt stuff."
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"- [gasps] But I don't have a butt!"
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"- That's even worse! Come on!"
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"[alarm blaring]"
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"[engine starts]"
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"MAN ON RADIO: The tunnel is closed due to a cinematic crash."
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"There seems to be some sort of Daylight situation going on."
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"- Dammit, the tunnel was our way out!"
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"- I don't understand what's happening right now!"
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"♪"
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"- Okay, Sylvester Stallone, I've got places to be and families to join."
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"This is big boy time, and you and I are clearly the alpha dogs here."
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"The main men, the stinkiest poops."
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"What's our plan to save the day?"
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"- Listen, little blue boy, go back with the other orphans"
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"and let an 11-time Golden Raspberry Award-winning actor take care of this."
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"- Not good enough, Demolition Man, I need the deets."
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"- Okay, I promise I will get all of you out of here alive."
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"It's not gonna be easy, some of you will die,"
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"but if we can swim through the water"
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"without getting eaten by the tunnel alligators,"
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"then as God as my witness, I will save all of your lives."
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"Except most of you, who will probably die."
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"- Pfft! That sounds super fucking lame."
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"First, tunnel alligators don't exist, only rats that cook French food."
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"B, everyone should come with me 'cause I'm an alien,"
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"I'm a leader, and I know leader shit."
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"Like, um, heat signatures. Huh? Huh? That's pretty cool."
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"Who's impressed? I know that guy is."
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"[rumbling]"
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"- We'll go with you. - Good luck, suckers."
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"Hope you're not Expendable! Get it?"
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"♪"
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"[electricity crackling]"
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"- Told you this would be way cooler than whatever Rocky IV is doing."
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"[metallic creaking] [all scream]"
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"- You sure this is safe? - Yeah, man, don't be such a--"
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"[growling] Holy fuck, tunnel gators!"
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"I knew it! I'll save you!"
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"[men screaming]"
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"You guys got this, right?"
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"- No, we don't have it! Come back!"
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"[Temper Monster growling]"
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"[thudding footsteps]"
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"- I think we're lost! None of this was in the manual!"
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"- Wait, I know what this is. It's Super Mario 64, right?"
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