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Clips from The Goldbergs - Have a Summer (S03E03)

"the last week of school meant one thing."
The Goldbergs
"All right, boys and girls,"
The Goldbergs
"today begins Freshman Fear Week."
The Goldbergs
"(STUDENTS GASP)"
The Goldbergs
"This is when upperclassmen"
The Goldbergs
"hunt down terrified incoming ninth graders"
The Goldbergs
"and throw them in the showers."
The Goldbergs
"Did he say "hunt"? Balls!"
The Goldbergs
"No! I made it through middle school"
The Goldbergs
"without using those showers!"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, school policy on cruel hazing traditions..."
The Goldbergs
"(CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah. ...tended to be a tad more lax."
The Goldbergs
"I swear, one day, they'll realize"
The Goldbergs
"this whole practice is completely barbaric."
The Goldbergs
"You will never live to see that day!"
The Goldbergs
"But you're my brother. You're supposed to protect me."
The Goldbergs
"Opposite!"
The Goldbergs
"I've been training for this my whole life."
The Goldbergs
"Every headlock, noogie, and wet willy"
The Goldbergs
"has led to this moment."
The Goldbergs
"There has to be a way out of this."
The Goldbergs
"There is, but it's not pretty."
The Goldbergs
"Mama! Barry's gonna hurt me!"
The Goldbergs
"I'm here, schmoo."
The Goldbergs
"He's gonna hunt me down"
The Goldbergs
"and throw me into the gross gym showers! No!"
The Goldbergs
"Yes! No!"
The Goldbergs
"And then he's gonna rip my shoes off"
The Goldbergs
"and make me touch the floor without flip-flops!"
The Goldbergs
"You're not athletic enough to get athlete's foot!"
The Goldbergs
"Help me! I'm just a boy!"
The Goldbergs
"(GASPS) I got you, baby."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, God! No, I don't. (THUD)"
The Goldbergs
"¶ I'm twisted up inside"
The Goldbergs
"¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say"
The Goldbergs
"¶ I don't know the future"
The Goldbergs
"¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: It was June 2, 1980-something,"
The Goldbergs
"the end of the school year,"
The Goldbergs
"a moment that would live in time forever."
The Goldbergs
"Hey, guys."
The Goldbergs
"Still looking for contributions for the time capsule."
The Goldbergs
"So far, we've got one Hall & Oates poster,"
The Goldbergs
"put in by me."
The Goldbergs
"I'm gonna put in a naked picture of myself"
The Goldbergs
"so I can look back and say, "Yeah, Naked Rob had it.""
The Goldbergs
"I'm gonna put myself in there."
The Goldbergs
"Boom! Livin' in the future."
The Goldbergs
"Dude, it's a time capsule, not a time machine."
The Goldbergs
"Right?"
The Goldbergs
"You're funny"
The Goldbergs
"and have trouble making eye contact with girls."
The Goldbergs
"I like it."
The Goldbergs
"All except for the haircut and the posture, but I can fix that."
The Goldbergs
"Thanks, I think? Hey, Erica!"
The Goldbergs
"Oh!"
The Goldbergs
"You want to sign my yearbook?"
The Goldbergs
"I saved you precious real estate right next to my face."
The Goldbergs
"Fine."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, you know, if you need some more time with it,"
The Goldbergs
"you could just give it back to me."
The Goldbergs
"Okay, you're done. "Have a summer.""
The Goldbergs
"Did you mean, like, "good summer" or..."
The Goldbergs
"Or "bitchin' summer" or... Or "sexy summer"?"
The Goldbergs
"Just "summer.""
The Goldbergs
"Do you think she meant it like "Have a summer""
The Goldbergs
"or "Have a summer"?"
The Goldbergs
"Dude, you got to let this go."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, don't be such a Duckie. Such a what?"
The Goldbergs
"Duckie, the twerpy, lovesick best friend"
The Goldbergs
"who never gets Molly Ringwald."
The Goldbergs
"That's you, bro."
The Goldbergs
"(BLOWS RASPBERRY) Please!"
The Goldbergs
"If I'm anyone from Pretty in Pink,"
The Goldbergs
"it's feather-haired bad boy James Spader."
The Goldbergs
"That is delusional. Get to know yourself, bro."
The Goldbergs
"Geoffrey, Andrew, Robert, I need to speak to my child."
The Goldbergs
"She's using our proper first names."
The Goldbergs
"Move it. It's scary 'cause she said "Andrew.""
The Goldbergs
"What? I didn't even do anything!"
The Goldbergs
"Adam says you're gonna haze and humiliate him at school?"
The Goldbergs
"Oh, that. Yeah, that's happening."
The Goldbergs
"Like heck it is!"
The Goldbergs
"You lay one finger on my baby..."
The Goldbergs
"You mean the pubescent monster standing next to you?"
The Goldbergs
"Take a look at him, Ma. He's all grown up now."
The Goldbergs
"That is not the, uh..."
The Goldbergs
"No, that's not..."
The Goldbergs
"Is this true?"
The Goldbergs
"No! Look at me!"
The Goldbergs
"Actually, don't."
The Goldbergs
"Uh, close your eyes and imagine me from last year."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, my God! He's right."
The Goldbergs
"My baby is going to high school."
The Goldbergs
"No! Stop reeling at the passage of time!"
The Goldbergs
"Protect me!"
The Goldbergs
"Your voice!"
The Goldbergs
"I'm just now hearing it for the first time."
The Goldbergs
"It's like the last gasp of an old helium balloon."
The Goldbergs
"(SOFTLY) No."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, yes."
The Goldbergs
"I just broke Mom's spirit, so now I can shower you."
The Goldbergs
"Get ready, bro."
The Goldbergs
"Shhhhhh!"
The Goldbergs
"Why are you shushing me?"
The Goldbergs
"That's not a shush. That's a shower sound."
The Goldbergs
"What are you talking about? This is a shower sound."
The Goldbergs
"Kwwwwwwwhhhhh!"
The Goldbergs
"That's the ocean, bro. A shower sounds like this."
The Goldbergs
"Shhhhhh!"
The Goldbergs
"You're making a fool out of yourself!"
The Goldbergs
"Listen to me. Listen."
The Goldbergs
"Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The Goldbergs
"Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The Goldbergs
"Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The Goldbergs
"(SNIFFING DEEPLY) Oh."
The Goldbergs
"Hi. Hello."
The Goldbergs
"Don't mind me. I'm just having some Bev time."
The Goldbergs
"(SNIFFS)"
The Goldbergs
"Do you mind closing the door, please?"
The Goldbergs
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