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Clips from Cheers - Someone Single, Someone Blue (S01E01)

Goodnight, Dan. Be careful going home now.

"Goodnight, Dan. Be careful going home now."

Cheers

Boy, that guy sure chewed your ear off, Coach.

"Boy, that guy sure chewed your ear off, Coach."

Cheers

Yeah, but what a nice guy. You know something?

"Yeah, but what a nice guy. You know something?"

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That's the first person l ever met that was on the Titanic.

"That's the first person l ever met that was on the Titanic."

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- He survived the Titanic? - l forgot to ask.

"- He survived the Titanic? - l forgot to ask."

Cheers

l would've loved to hear that story.

"l would've loved to hear that story."

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l figured you'd heard it. Big boat, hit an iceberg. Bang! Down it went.

"l figured you'd heard it. Big boat, hit an iceberg. Bang! Down it went."

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Any interesting stories, call me. lt's one of the joys of bartending.

"Any interesting stories, call me. lt's one of the joys of bartending."

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You want interesting? Forget the Titanic. Come here.

"You want interesting? Forget the Titanic. Come here."

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Glen, tell him what you told me earlier. Go ahead.

"Glen, tell him what you told me earlier. Go ahead."

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l know all the words to the Bonanza theme song.

"l know all the words to the Bonanza theme song."

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Go ahead. Let him hear it.

"Go ahead. Let him hear it."

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We got a right To pick a little fight, Bonanza!

"We got a right To pick a little fight, Bonanza!"

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lf anyone fights any one of us He's gotta fight with me

"lf anyone fights any one of us He's gotta fight with me"

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We're not a one To settle up and run, Bonanza!

"We're not a one To settle up and run, Bonanza!"

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Any one of us starts a little fight Knows he can trust on me

"Any one of us starts a little fight Knows he can trust on me"

Cheers

One for four, four for one, This we guarantee

"One for four, four for one, This we guarantee"

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One for four, four for one...

"One for four, four for one..."

Cheers

- Howdy, sports fans. - Norm!

"- Howdy, sports fans. - Norm!"

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- What'll it be, Norm? - Fame, fortune, fast women.

"- What'll it be, Norm? - Fame, fortune, fast women."

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Yeah? How about a beer?

"Yeah? How about a beer?"

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Even better.

"Even better."

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How's the search for work, Norm?

"How's the search for work, Norm?"

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Good news, everybody. l'm no longer looking for a job.

"Good news, everybody. l'm no longer looking for a job."

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l'm now begging for one.

"l'm now begging for one."

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- l don't believe this. - What now?

"- l don't believe this. - What now?"

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That was my mother. She just flew into town and she's coming here.

"That was my mother. She just flew into town and she's coming here."

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No kidding. We finally get to meet her.

"No kidding. We finally get to meet her."

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- This is very strange. - That you have a mother?

"- This is very strange. - That you have a mother?"

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No.

"No."

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That you have a mother that wants to see you?

"That you have a mother that wants to see you?"

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No. That she's coming over here.

"No. That she's coming over here."

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l didn't think Mommy'd be caught dead in a place like this.

"l didn't think Mommy'd be caught dead in a place like this."

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What are we, too grungy or something?

"What are we, too grungy or something?"

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Yeah, inside an hour ago, l'm in the tub.

"Yeah, inside an hour ago, l'm in the tub."

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You're taking this too personally. You shouldn't.

"You're taking this too personally. You shouldn't."

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- lt's just Mommy doesn't like bars. - Bars can be very sad places.

"- lt's just Mommy doesn't like bars. - Bars can be very sad places."

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Some people spend their whole lives in a bar.

"Some people spend their whole lives in a bar."

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Just yesterday, some guy sat right here next to me for 1 1 hours.

"Just yesterday, some guy sat right here next to me for 1 1 hours."

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- What kind of a life is that? - Pitiful.

"- What kind of a life is that? - Pitiful."

Cheers

The sad thing is, he'll be sitting in a bar right now,

"The sad thing is, he'll be sitting in a bar right now,"

Cheers

drinking a beer, going on and on about nothing.

"drinking a beer, going on and on about nothing."

Cheers

Diane, if your mom is anything like you, everyone will love her.

"Diane, if your mom is anything like you, everyone will love her."

Cheers

She's nothing like l am.

"She's nothing like l am."

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She's very eccentric and a little hard to take at times.

"She's very eccentric and a little hard to take at times."

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Yeah, worlds apart.

"Yeah, worlds apart."

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Diane, if your mother's so rich, how come you're not?

"Diane, if your mother's so rich, how come you're not?"

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l didn't want to go through life being handed money on a silver tray.

"l didn't want to go through life being handed money on a silver tray."

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For you.

"For you."

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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There she is. My little baby.

"There she is. My little baby."

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Mommy.

"Mommy."

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Hello, darling.

"Hello, darling."

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They didn't get near each other. How can anyone miss Diane's mouth?

"They didn't get near each other. How can anyone miss Diane's mouth?"

Cheers

So, this is a bar.

"So, this is a bar."

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Yes. This is where l work.

"Yes. This is where l work."

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Let me introduce you. Mother, this is Sam,

"Let me introduce you. Mother, this is Sam,"

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who wouldn't say anything to embarrass me, so wisely says nothing.

"who wouldn't say anything to embarrass me, so wisely says nothing."

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How do you do?

"How do you do?"

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Hi.

"Hi."

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This is Carla Tortelli. She says even less than Sam and she's very busy.

"This is Carla Tortelli. She says even less than Sam and she's very busy."

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Down there we have Norman and his friend Cliff.

"Down there we have Norman and his friend Cliff."

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They lost their tongues in the war.

"They lost their tongues in the war."

Cheers

Ernie Pantusso. You can call him Coach.

"Ernie Pantusso. You can call him Coach."

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- Or use my other nickname, Red. - Red?

"- Or use my other nickname, Red. - Red?"

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As a player, his team-mates called him Red.

"As a player, his team-mates called him Red."

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Because your hair was red?

"Because your hair was red?"

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No, ma'am. Because l read a book.

"No, ma'am. Because l read a book."

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He's very sweet though. Very sweet.

"He's very sweet though. Very sweet."

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lt's nice to finally meet you, Mrs Chambers.

"lt's nice to finally meet you, Mrs Chambers."

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lt's nice to meet you, Sam. Diane's told me about you.

"lt's nice to meet you, Sam. Diane's told me about you."

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You're almost as handsome as she says you think you are.

"You're almost as handsome as she says you think you are."

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There's a compliment in there someplace.

"There's a compliment in there someplace."

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lt's very nice of you to come all this way.

"lt's very nice of you to come all this way."

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l thought so, too, but you know what tomorrow is?

"l thought so, too, but you know what tomorrow is?"

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- No. What? - Your wedding day. Congratulations.

"- No. What? - Your wedding day. Congratulations."

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My what?

"My what?"

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lf you're not married before tomorrow,

"lf you're not married before tomorrow,"

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l lose my share of your father's estate.

"l lose my share of your father's estate."

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My God! Why?

"My God! Why?"

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Darling, when he died, you were still a little gawky girl,

"Darling, when he died, you were still a little gawky girl,"

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with your nose in a book and a terrible facial tic.

"with your nose in a book and a terrible facial tic."

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Your father was worried that you would never find a mate,

"Your father was worried that you would never find a mate,"

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and that you would have a lonely life.

"and that you would have a lonely life."

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So he made me promise that l would have you married

"So he made me promise that l would have you married"

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ten years after the day he died.

"ten years after the day he died."

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He even put it in his will.

"He even put it in his will."

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So, if you're still single, l'm cut off.

"So, if you're still single, l'm cut off."

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Why have you waited to tell me? Father's been dead ten years.

"Why have you waited to tell me? Father's been dead ten years."

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You know how time flies when you're having...

"You know how time flies when you're having..."

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- Grief. - Grief.

"- Grief. - Grief."

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So, if l'm not married by tomorrow, you're broke?

"So, if l'm not married by tomorrow, you're broke?"

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Put your mind at ease. l'll never be broke.

"Put your mind at ease. l'll never be broke."

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l'll either be rich or dead. The choice is yours.

"l'll either be rich or dead. The choice is yours."

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You're seriously asking me to get married?

"You're seriously asking me to get married?"

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My attorneys have assured me that it need be in name only,

"My attorneys have assured me that it need be in name only,"

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just for a few days. There's no other way.

"just for a few days. There's no other way."

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This is the craziest thing Father ever did.

"This is the craziest thing Father ever did."

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Not even close, dear.

"Not even close, dear."

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Excuse me, madam. l dropped the bags off at the hotel.

"Excuse me, madam. l dropped the bags off at the hotel."

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- Thank you. - Nice to see you, Boggs.

"- Thank you. - Nice to see you, Boggs."

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l'd be honoured if you'd consent to be my wife.

"l'd be honoured if you'd consent to be my wife."

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l said ''in a pinch'', Boggs.

"l said ''in a pinch'', Boggs."

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- Now wait over there. - Yes, madam.

"- Now wait over there. - Yes, madam."

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Darling, think hard. There's so little time.

"Darling, think hard. There's so little time."

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Don't you know anyone who'd be willing to marry you for a few days?

"Don't you know anyone who'd be willing to marry you for a few days?"

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Well, l'm afraid there's no one l'm steadily dating at the moment.

"Well, l'm afraid there's no one l'm steadily dating at the moment."

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Excuse me,...

"Excuse me,..."

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..rich lady.

"..rich lady."

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l couldn't help overhearing your problems.

"l couldn't help overhearing your problems."

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Your daughter has a hot thing for the bartender.

"Your daughter has a hot thing for the bartender."

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l do not!

"l do not!"

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She likes Red?

"She likes Red?"

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He's dumb enough to be your father.

"He's dumb enough to be your father."

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Not him. Sam.

"Not him. Sam."

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l care nothing. l feel nothing.

"l care nothing. l feel nothing."

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Sam who?

"Sam who?"

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Come off it. We've all noticed how you two go around,

"Come off it. We've all noticed how you two go around,"

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looking at each other like lovesick cows. Admit it.

"looking at each other like lovesick cows. Admit it."

Cheers

He's got you steaming under the silks.

"He's got you steaming under the silks."

Cheers

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