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Clips from The Goldbergs - Boy Barry (S03E03)

"my mom's plot to win the war of Murray was in full swing."
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"Beverly!"
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"Good morning, handsome."
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"I made your favorite food."
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"And here's your newspaper and tushie pillow."
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"You mowed my Magnum off while I slept. Who does that?"
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"Funny story. Me."
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"She lathered your face, shaved you clean,"
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"and you didn't even wake up?"
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"When I go down, I go down hard."
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"Oh, I get a lot done while he's asleep."
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"Fingernails, nose hairs, rough elbows, Q-tip work."
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"Soup to nuts."
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"Wow. It's so smooth, like a puppy's paw."
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"Let me get in there, see what all the fuss is about."
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"I want you to drop by Bill's store on your lunch break"
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"and show him my handiwork."
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"Will everybody stop touching me?"
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"Use my name. It's Beverly. Say it."
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"I know your name!"
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"Is this why you're doing all of this?"
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"Because you hate my best friend?"
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"I don't hate him, hon."
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"All I did was show that ridiculous ass-for-brains"
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"whose face this is..."
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"Mine. And you will speak of what happened here."
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"Enough! You, me, and Bill are going to talk this out."
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"You want to talk?"
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"Of course not. But you've forced me into it."
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"I think he's secretly happy. (CHUCKLES)"
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"ADULT ADAM: While my mom wanted to show Bill she had won,"
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"Lainey was trying to win back Barry."
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"Hey, big tasty. It's me, McDLT."
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"I keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool."
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"I'm not interested. Maybe this will change your mind."
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"JTP, kick me a beat."
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"(BEAT-BOXING POORLY)"
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"Let the whole school laugh at me, I don't care."
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"(RAPPING) ¶ I'd do anything for a guy named Barry"
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"¶ All the girls want him, but I don't want to share-y ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: What followed was the worst, most ill-conceived rap"
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"ever performed in school history."
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"Unfortunately, Lainey was hot and popular, so this happened."
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"Hey, Lainey Lewis is rapping. She's awesome."
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"¶ Love is a love I'm thinking of"
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"¶ Love is a love that loves my love"
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"¶ Love from above fits like a glove ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: Like any great performance,"
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"there was something for everyone."
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"No, she's making fun of Barry Goldberg's dreams and aspirations."
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"Hilarious. Give it to him, Lainey!"
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"ADULT ADAM: Well, everyone except Barry,"
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"who was elbowed out of his own apology rap,"
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"which quickly caught on with the crowd."
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"ALL: ¶ Love is a love that loves my love ¶"
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"Barry, where are you going?"
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"She's showing how much she loves you"
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"by embarrassing herself the way that you would."
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"She can't even embarrass herself when she tries."
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"All this proves is what you've always said."
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"She's out of my league."
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"ADULT ADAM: While Barry gave up on Lainey, my dad was fighting for Bill."
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"Okay, you two have forced my hand,"
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"so now we're gonna have to talk..."
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"About feelings."
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"I'll go first."
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"I'm feeling mad."
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"You're mad? How could you let her take your 'stache, Mur? How?"
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"That's not the only thing I took, big guy."
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"That's not yours! That's a friendship comb!"
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"It's a spoil of war."
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"Stop it, both of you. There is no war."
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"Open your eyes, fool. Look at her just peacocking me."
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"She thinks she's won, but we're just getting started."
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"Are we, now?"
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"We are."
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"Court-side seats to the Sixers, Mur."
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"You want to stay here and watch Charlie's Angels or go watch Charlie Barkley?"
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"Nobody calls him that."
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"Someone does, maybe his mama"
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"or a close cousin who's more like a sibling."
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"All right, enough."
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"Bevy, you're gonna have to be the bigger person here"
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"and apologize so we can move past this."
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"Me apologize? For what?"
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"That's right, Bevy. Looks like your man's on my side."
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"There are no sides."
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"I think it's time we settle this once and for all."
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"It's a simple choice, really. Her or me?"
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"What?"
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"That's right, woman. You forgot."
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"I negotiate big tile contracts for a living, and I always win."
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"Overplayed my hand, huh?"
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"Yeah, you did."
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"Hey, listen. I got a counteroffer."
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"How about Tuesday nights and every other weekend?"
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"Yeah, the thing is, she's my wife."
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"It's, it's over."
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"Nah, I get it."
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"Makes sense now with a little distance."
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"Yeah, we probably should have discussed the details of your plan beforehand."
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"Seems that way."
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"(DOOR CLOSES) It's for the best."
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"For you. You're in charge around here, and I'm good with that."
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"But I kind of liked having a friend,"
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"and it would have been nice if you liked him, too."
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"ADULT ADAM: Even though my mom won"
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"the infamous Goldberg mustache war,"
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"my dad was the real casualty."
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"(HORN HONKING)"
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"(CAR DOOR CLOSES)"
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"Who's there? Bill?"
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"Better."
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"I'm Charlie's most sensible angel, Kate Jackson."
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"I'm the one who wears pants."
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"What is this? What's happening?"
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"Glad you asked, Bosley."
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"I was thinking we could take a little joy ride"
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"in this sporty automobile we have no intention of buying."
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"But you said we were close. I ran a credit check."
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